


Princesses First, Mates Second

by buk19



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alpha Clarke, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arranged Marriage, Babies, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Clexa Endgame, Clexa babies, F/F, F/M, Heavy Angst, Jealous Clarke, Jealous Lexa, Jealousy, Loss of Virginity, Mating, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Mutual Pining, Omega Lexa, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 04:21:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 43,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9367721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buk19/pseuds/buk19
Summary: Princesses Clarke and Lexa have been engaged since they were babies. But what happens when others get in the way of their love? Lexa has to choose if she should mate with another or to choose love. What does she choose? Her choices will affect the rest of her and Clarke's life.





	1. The Issue of Mating

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for any mistakes. This chapter is very long and I'm afraid I have no time to edit so there probably will be many mistakes.

Princess Clarke of Arkadia and Princess Lexa of Trikru have been best friends since they were toddlers. They have been in an unofficial arrangement to be wed since little Lexa was two years old and Clarke was still in her cradle. King Jake and King Gustus are strong allies to one another and a marriage between their daughters would have been very beneficial. Every summer Clark goes to visit Trikru lands and every winter Lexa stays in Arkadia.

As the years passed, their friendship only grows stronger. They knew they would one day wed and mate each other when the day came. But sometimes life doesn’t go as planned. 

When Clarke was 15 and Lexa was 17, Lexa finally presented. Lexa was a late bloomer as most wolves present on their 16th birthday. But Lexa doesn’t present until after her first kiss. They say that sometimes sexual experiences will make a wolf present. And that’s exactly what happens in Lexa’s case.

Lexa and Clarke are in Clarke’s room late one night, staying up telling each other secrets. It’s Lexa’s turn and she grows quiet and embarrassed.

“I’ve never had my first kiss.” Lexa mumbles insecurely. She knows that she is to wed Clarke but it is not uncommon for people involved in unofficial engagements to experiment with others. Most times, unofficial engagements are called off due to matings that happened heat in the moment. Lexa grows insanely jealous of the thought of her best friend, her Clarke, her future mate with anyone else.

Clarke’s cheeks turn red and she looks down at the floor. “Oh.” Clarke says quietly. “I have.” Lexa barely suppresses the growl in her chest. 

“With who?” Lexa’s voice is soft and it’s heartbreaking.

“One of the duke’s sons, Finn.” Clarke says, hurrying to explain herself. “But it was more of a peck. It happened right before I left to come to Trikru last week. We were sitting and talking and he just put his lips on mine. I didn’t even know what was happening until he pulled away a second later. I don’t even want to count it as a kiss.”

Lexa feels her jealousy and anger grow. How dare this Finn person take Clarke’s first kiss without even asking her permission? Lexa will be devastated if Clarke wants this Finn character but she will accept it.

“Do you..do you like him?” Lexa whispers insecurely, refusing to look Clarke in the eyes for fear of what she's about to say next.

“Not at all. I like someone else actually...a lot.” Clarke says sincerely and Lexa can’t help that her face falls at the news.

“Oh.” Lexa says simply, refusing to cry in front of Clarke. She’s been in love with Clarke Griffin for as long as she can remember. No wonder unofficial engagements are unofficial. They don’t always last.

“You. I like you.” Clarke says steadily and Lexa’s eyes shoot up.

“Really?” Lexa asks with a dumb wide smile on her face.

“Yes..” Clarke inches closer to Lexa on the bed. Suddenly, Lexa is nervous again but this time it’s a good nervous. “May I have the honor of being your first kiss?” Clarke says in a seductive whisper and Lexa audibly gulps. She is left speechless, her heart a stuttering mess in her chest. Lexa nods slowly and Clarke leans in.

The kiss is slow and innocent at first, just two girls’ exploring this new world for the first time ever. Lexa is the one to invite tongue into the game. Clarke lightly moans when she feels Lexa’s tongue licking at her bottom lip. Clarke opens her mouth and her and Lexa’s tongues meet in a heated dance for dominance. Clarke wins out. The angle of the kiss is awkward so Clarke pulls back. Lexa’s eyes are still closed and she chases Clarke’s mouth. Clarke chuckles and Lexa’s eyes flutter open confused and then worried.

“Was I bad?” Lexa asks worriedly. Clarke strokes her cheek and Lexa melts into the touch.

“Absolutely not. I was just wondering if it would be okay if we could get more..comfortable?” Clarke gently says and Lexa looks surprised for a second before nodding. Lexa moves back on the bed, her head hitting the pillows. Clarke situates herself on top of Lexa and they ease into their heated makeout session again.

Hands start to roam all over each other’s bodies. Lexa nervously asks Clarke if she could take off Clarke’s top and she responds with a whispered turned on ‘yes.’ Lexa’s shirt comes next. Then both of their pants. It’s getting entirely too heated and they both know it. Neither of them have even presented yet. This is all happening much too quickly but neither can find it in their willpower to stop.

Lexa can feel Clarke’s fingers rubbing circles on her upper thigh and it’s causing shivers up her body. Clarke’s hand travels to her soaked panties but makes no move to go inside them.

“Is this ok?” Clarke whispers against the soft skin of Lexa’s neck. Lexa just can’t control it as her hips buck into Clarke’s hand.

“It’s perfect.” Lexa whimpers out. Clarke rubs Lexa with her fingers through her underwear. She starts out slow, tenderly building Lexa up. Lexa’s body starts to move on it’s own accord, following Clarke’s movements. It feels so good, better than anything Lexa has ever experienced. Then there’s a knock at the door, shattering the moment completely. Lexa and Clarke jump apart so fast, scattering to find their clothes. It’s Lexa’s younger sister Raven. Raven is only 13. She keeps knocking and whining about how the door is locked until Lexa opens it. Lexa’s clothes and hair are disheveled and so are Clarke’s but Raven doesn’t seem to notice it. 

Much to Lexa’s annoyance and frustration, Raven plops down on a chair in Lexa’s room and starts chatting with Clarke. Clarke smiles and talks to her future sister in law. Lexa just sits on the bed staring at how beautiful and free Clarke is. She glances at Clarke’s swollen lips and then feels her own to check if this is all real. She just had her first kiss..and with her future mate no less. Her and Clarke were so close to having sex too. If it wasn’t for Raven interrupting them, they would have. Raven falls asleep on the chair and Clarke and Lexa falls asleep in eachother’s arms on the bed.

The next morning Lexa wakes up in a sweat. She’s presenting. Raven runs to get her mother and Clarke stays by Lexa’s side. She feels incredibly hot and wildly uncomfortable. She’s thrashing back and forth in the overheated sheets. Lexa wiggles and whines uncontrollably until she finds Clarke’s warm body and burrows into her embrace. Clarke hums to her and Lexa whimpers. She’s an omega. Lexa just knows it.

Her mother comes in and tells Clarke to politely leave the room. Lexa growls and whimpers, tightening her grip on Clarke. She doesn’t want her future mate to leave. No, she wants her to mate her right here and now. Clarke kisses her forehead and promises her she’ll be back soon. Unhappily, Lexa releases her grip on Clarke and the blonde princess leaves the room with Raven. Lexa’s mother soothes her and gives her something to cause her to sleep.

Lexa wakes up the next morning and she feels weird. The effects of her presenting are gone. Now she’s just an omega. Her senses are heightened and it’s amazing. She can smell and hear so much. She gets dressed and is walking to the throne room where her mother and father are waiting when she hears shouting. King Jake and Queen Abigail are there. 

“You can’t just break the engagement Gustus! The kids have been bound to one another for 15 years!” King Jake exclaims.

“Jake, my friend, you have to understand. The Ice Nation is both of our enemies. When news of Lexa presenting as an omega hit, Queen Nia offered her youngest daughter to be her mate. She is a beta and she’s 19 years old. I love Clarke like a daughter but Ice Nation is going to attack us any day..your lands too. This is the best for all of us.” Gustus says regretfully. He doesn’t want to do this but he has to.

Thanks to Lexa’s heightened hearing, she heard all of this from all the way down the hall. Lexa runs to Clarke’s room. Clarke is sleeping so peacefully that Lexa almost hates to wake her up. 

“Clarke, wake up.” Lexa softly says. Immediately, Clarke is up and aware of Lexa’s voice. Lexa’s eyes are distraught.

“What’s wrong?..Oh wow you’re an omega.” Clarke states dumbly. Just because she hasn’t presented yet doesn’t mean she can’t smell what kind of wolf someone is. And Lexa is _definitely_ an omega.

“Yes I am. Look we don’t have much time. My dad wants me to mate with Princess Costia of Ice Nation. Both of our lands have been on the brink of war with them for years now and he thinks this is the best option.” Lexa says hurriedly. Clarke growls louder than a unpresented wolf should be able to. Lexa feels the urge to tilt her neck and submit, which is insane because Clarke hasn’t even presented yet.

“No. We are to be mated. He can’t break our engagement.” Clarke growls out, her fury reaching an all new level.

“He can and he will. Unless we do something about it.” Lexa says surely.

“What? What can we do?” Clarke says, confused as ever.

“We can mate.” Lexa says simply. Clarke’s eyes widen.

“B-but I’m not..I haven’t…”

“I know you haven’t presented yet. But last night triggered me to present. Maybe if we do um _that_ again, we can trigger yours too.” Lexa says. She was confident of her plan but now that she says it outloud, it doesn’t sound like it will work.

Presenting is a tricky thing. Almost every wolf presents on their 16th birthday. But there are rare cases, Lexa being one of them. Lexa presented a year late and it was triggered by her sexual arousal from Clarke. _Sometimes_ that same sexual arousal can trigger a wolf into presenting early, but that’s even rarer.

“Lex, I’m not sure if that will work -” Clarke says regretfully.

“Then let’s run away together.” Lexa anxiously blurts out.

“What? Y-you want to run away with me?” Clarke asks, clearly shocked.

“Just until you present and we mate. Then we can come back and our parents will accept us. It’s perfect Clarke. It has to work.” Lexa is desperate. She doesn’t want to lose Clarke. “What do you say?” She asks with eyes fearful of rejection.

“Yes. Of course yes.” Clarke pulls Lexa in for a brief kiss. “I’ll go anywhere with you.” Lexa smiles and kisses her back. Lexa tells Clarke to be ready to leave by nightfall. Lexa will be making preparations for them and to meet in the hall farthest from the King and Queen’s chambers. They embrace once more before Lexa departs.

Lexa talks to a few servants and cooks in the kitchen. They agree to give her safe passage out of the castle with the other princess. Her and Clarke will stay in a local town for a few weeks as her parents will be looking on the royal roads for them and not the small rural towns surrounding the castle. It’s afternoon and Lexa is in her room, figuring out where they can go next when her father comes into the room.

“Lexa, my dear. How are you feeling?” Gustus asks sympathetically. He doesn't want to do this to Clarke and his daughter, but he has to think about the better of his realm.

“Fine father.” Lexa responds shortly and Gustus frowns. He can smell the nervous pheromones coming off Lexa and he realizes that Lexa knows.

“You already know, don’t you?” Gustus gently asks and Lexa looks at him with betrayal evident in her eyes. It’s obvious she knows and there’s no use in denying it.

“I don’t care what you say. I refuse to marry Costia.” Lexa responds stiffly. This was not a part of her plan. Her and Clarke were suppose to slip away unnoticed.

“And it is within your right to refuse her.” Gustus answers truthfully and Lexa looks up at him shocked.

“Father?” She asks shakily, hopeful that maybe her and Clarke don’t have to run away and they can stay here with her father’s blessing.

“I will never force you to take a mate you don’t desire. But my dear, we are in trouble. Ice Nation has the power to bring a powerful fight to Arkadia and our lands. I’m afraid we might not win this time. The life of a royal isn’t fair and I ask you to think with your head and not your heart. Maybe even one day you will grow to love Costia. Clarke will understand.”

“No she won’t.” Lexa closes her eyes to try and battle the tears. She knows what she has to do. And Clarke will never forgive her for it.

///

Clarke waits and waits for Lexa to arrive but she never does. Only hours later, does Clarke leave the intended meeting place. She goes to Lexa’s room to find a letter addressed to her.

_My love Clarke,_

_I am so sorry. I am so sorry but I cannot run away with you. I have to think with my head and not my heart. I was foolish to think otherwise. And that is why by the time you read this letter I will be on my way to meet my future mate and future wife, Costia Winters. The wedding is for tomorrow. I chose to rush the mating date. It was suppose to be in three months time but I didn’t want any extra time because I knew you would come for me. I knew you would try to persuade me not to mate with her and I knew I would let you. As royals, we do not always have the chance to love. I see that now._

_I will always be your best friend. I beg you to stay for the rest of the summer. I will be back in a week’s time with my wife. I need to see you. Please, I know it is selfish to ask but do not leave yet._

_Lexa_

Clarke growls so loud that it echoes through all the castle walls. A growl that loud should only be capable of the strongest of alphas. But Clarke is still a young pup. Her parents rush to her side to sooth her. She cries in her parents’ arms for hours until she falls asleep. The next day when news arrives that Lexa and Costia have mated, Clarke’s heart shatters. She leaves a letter for Lexa on her dresser and leaves with her parents for Arkadia.

///

Lexa arrives in the Ice Nation a few hours after she leaves her letter for Clarke. She’s heartbroken but she knows it’s what she had to do for the better of her people. She wonders how Clarke feels. She thinks about the life her and Clarke were suppose to share. It would have been wonderful and beautiful and now it is no more. Now Clarke will have a life with a different mate. Now Clarke is no longer hers to call her own. She feels the tears stinging at her eyes. Clarke will never forgive her for this. She’s not only lost her lover but her best friend as well.

Lexa exits her carriage and is brought into the throne room. Queen Nia is sitting in her throne and beside her is presumably Costia. Costia is stunning and there is no denying that. Her eyes are a warm brown and her hair is a light brown, almost blonde. Her scent is very attractive for a beta. Her lips look like pillows and Lexa is immediately pulled in. She feels immense guilt for feeling a physical attraction for the girl when he heart belongs to another, to Clarke.

“Princess Lexa, it is indeed a pleasure.” Costia says.

“It is a pleasure for me as well, Princess Costia.” Lexa says in her polite political voice. The older beta smiles at her and asks if she’d like to be walked to her bedchambers for the night. Lexa accepts.

“I know this wasn’t in your plan. I know your family despises my mother. And I know you were unofficially engaged to the Arkadia Princess.” Costia says with her voice delicate and kind. Lexa is shocked at the bluntness. Costia keeps a respectful distant while walking the omega princess to her bedroom.

“I also know that you are doing this for the safety of your realm. I am sorry my mother has put you in such a situation, but just know that I am in a similar one as well.” Costia gently murmurs and Lexa’s eyes widen.

“I am in love with the Duchess Echo Azgeda of Ice Nation. We were to be wed in two summers, but plans have changed so it seems. I do not resent you for this change however and I hope you feel the same for me.” Costia continues speaking politely. Lexa is stunned into silence.

“I do not resent you.” Lexa quietly says and Costia offers a small smile.

“Good then.” Costia stops at Lexa’s door, refusing to break that boundary. “I hope we can now begin this marriage with open minds, even if our hearts aren’t.” Costia then bids her goodnight and Lexa does the same. She falls asleep dreaming of Clarke.

The wedding is the next day. Her parents arrive just in time for it. It’s a small ceremony since it was so quickly planned. Her and Costia chastely kiss on the lips before the after party. Lexa and Costia enter their shared bedchambers at the end of the night. Costia assures again and again her that they do not have to mate tonight if she doesn't want to. Lexa allows herself to enjoy the physical touches, even if it isn't true love. It’s not Costia’s first time but it is Lexa’s. Lexa is understandably nervous and Costia is very sweet to her throughout the whole experience. When Lexa finally does come undone, she can only think of blonde hair and blue eyes. When she finally feels Costia bite into her neck and she reciprocates, she imagines she’s biting in the soft pale flesh of her unpresented princess who is hopefully still waiting in Trikru for her arrival back.

A week goes by and after bidding farewell to the Ice Queen, Lexa and Costia travel to Trikru. Lexa confided in Costia that she asked Clarke to stay so they could talk. She told Costia that as long as Clarke will have her, she will never fully be gone from Lexa’s life. She will always be important to her and hopefully will still be her best friend. Costia of course is understanding as she wishes the same for her and Echo. They may be in unfortunate circumstances but at least they both are respectful and understanding of one another. 

Lexa returns home and her first thought is of Clarke. She enters the throne room and sees her parents and sisters.

“Where is Clarke?” Lexa asks desperately. She entered Clarke’s bed chambers but there was no sign of her. She has a feeling of dread in her gut.

“She left the day of your mating.” Queen Indra says sadly, knowing the news will break Lexa’s heart.

“Oh.” Tears glaze over Lexa’s somber eyes. “Will you please excuse me for a moment?” She says to no one in particular as she scurries off to cry in her bedroom. Costia is left to chat awkwardly with her new in laws.

She collapses onto her bed in tears. It was foolish to think Clarke would wait for her to come back and with a new wife no less. Lexa knows that she wouldn’t have been able to bear seeing Clarke with a mate if the situations were reversed. She realizes though that one day she will have to see Clarke with another. As she cries some more, she briefly glances at her dresser and sees a letter. She hurries over, hoping it’s a letter from Clarke. And surely it is.

_Lexa:_

_I will not address this letter with the words ‘to my love,’ as you are no longer my own to love. As I write this, you are mating with another. My heart has been shattered. There was no need to create a huge ruse, pretending we would run away together. I felt so foolish when I learned you left without saying goodbye. I am angry. I am angry and I don’t even know who to be angry with._

_Perhaps you are right. Love is weakness. And I must think with my head over my heart as well. So for the good of our realms, our alliance will hold strong. But make no mistake, our alliance is purely a political one starting now. I do not say these things to be cruel. Staying friends with you and watching you with another, will only break me further. And as a future ruler, I cannot be broken. I will one day have a country to run as you will too. Our bond together will only be a weakness and you need to give your marriage a real chance. I’m afraid I might hinder that chance._

_Please inform your father that I will no longer be spending summers in Trikru as I need to start being mentored on how to be a strong Queen. It is best if you stay in Trikru for winters from this time forward as well with the same goal in mind. You were right. Royals cannot afford love._

_Clarke Griffin_

Lexa cries out in loss for her lover and best friend. She collapses on the ground in tears. She is so loud that the guards come in to check on her. Lexa shoos them away and moves to her bed. She eventually falls asleep clutching Clarke’s cold letter. She has truly lost everything. She has lost her true love.

///

_One Year Later_

Marriage with Costia has been pleasant. They are more friends than lovers, but neither of them seem to mind. Only during Lexa’s unbearable heats do they have physical relations. Other than that, the mates are close friends. Lexa has been in great despair over the loss of Clarke. Clarke has not contacted her once and Lexa has only sent her one letter. It was short and a few weeks after her mating. All it said was ‘I am forever sorry. I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I miss you with all of my being. May we meet again.’

Clarke never responded and it broke Lexa’s heart even more. Costia and Echo are still in constant contact through letters. Lexa is envious of the letters Costia receives from her former lover. She wishes she would have the same, even if it was Clarke saying she hates her. She just wants some sort of contact with the girl she loves so much. The absence of the blonde is killing her. 

Clarke’s birthday was yesterday. It pains her as this is the first of Clarke’s birthday she has not been by her side. Lexa has yet to hear any rumours of if Clarke presented. It kills her to think of Clarke presenting because that means that Clarke will mate. Lexa can’t even fathom the idea of Clarke mating another. It makes her sick to her stomach. She can only imagine how Clarke feels.

Lexa has been called to the throne room. Her father and mother look sullen.

“Lexa, my dear. We have news.” Indra says calmly and Lexa gulps. _This is about Clarke._

Lexa stands there frozen, waiting to hear what her parents have to say.

“Princess Clarke presented yesterday.” King Gustus proclaims loudly, slipping into his political voice. “She is an alpha.”

All the air is knocked out Lexa’s lungs. Clarke is an alpha. Lexa knew it. Clarke had alpha traits even before she presented. Her growl was louder than most presented alphas Lexa knew.

“Why are you telling me this?” Lexa asked warily. Her parents would never tell her news of Clarke unless there was a reason. And then she looks over and sees Raven standing by her mother’s side. Suddenly, it all makes sense and it makes her want to vomit. Her heart is lurching into her throat.

“No..” Lexa gasps out. This can’t be happening.

“We wanted to let you know that we have asked King Jake for Clarke’s hand for your sister. If they agree, we will wait until Raven presents. We might even wait another summer or two for them to become acquainted in such manners. This is the best for the realm Lexa. I am so sorry my dear.” Gustus sounds apologetic. He doesn’t know how much his daughter can take. But an alpha princess is too good to turn up. Everyone will be offering their proposals. He would be a fool not to propose an engagement.

Lexa stands there on the verge of tears. Her body is betraying her. She feels lightheaded and dizzy. Her sight is failing her. She can tell she’s on the edge of a full blown panic attack.

“Lexa.” They try saying her name but it sounds so distant. Clarke mating with her sister? She will have to be at the wedding. She will have to help prep Raven for her first mating just as her old sister helped her in Ice Nation last year. She will have to see their mating marks as they walk through the halls. She will have to see her little sister’s stomach grow swollen with Clarke’s pups. Oh god, she can’t do this. Clarke and her sister. It’s her last thought before blacking out.

Lexa wakes up in her bed later, with Costia by her side. Her mate looks worried.

“How are you feeling?” Costia asks as she gives Lexa a glass of water.

“Like my heart has been broken again.” Lexa hoarsely says, her throat dry. Costia looks at her sympathetically.

“As you know, your mother went to the birthday gala for Clarke last night. She had your father’s permission to propose a marriage between Raven and Clarke if Clarke were to present as an alpha. Clarke’s answer has already came back.” Costia softly says, careful not to spook Lexa. Apparently her father and mother did not care about how Lexa would react. At first news of Clarke being an alpha, they took the opportunity. Arkadia and Trikru border each other. They are only 30 minutes away by horse from the border of Arkadia. News travels fast between the countries. 

“I’m not sure I can hear this right now Costia.” Lexa tearfully says, closing her eyes as if she’s bracing for impact.

“She politely declined.” Costia breathes out and Lexa’s eyes shoot open. 

“S-she did?” Lexa cautiously asks, trying to hide the hope that is seeping into her eyes.

“Yes. She did.” Costia answers back. Lexa is relieved at the news but she still has a hole in her heart. It pains her everyday that she will never be Clarke’s mate. Costia is wonderful, but she’s not Clarke Griffin and she never will be.

///

_Two Years Later_

Lexa, Costia, and her parents are on their way to Arkadia castle. This is the first time Lexa will see Clarke in three years and it is not for a good occasion. King Jake and Queen Abigail were assassinated a few days ago. Rumours say it was Queen Nia’s men who did it. Apparently Clarke stumbled on the scene and ripped the throats out of each alpha assassin invading the castle. There were roughly a dozen apparently. They were highly trained and vicious. Lexa remembers Clarke as a sweet unpresented teenager who couldn’t even kill a spider. So much has changed these past few years it seems.

Lexa is all nerves to see Clarke. Costia holds her hand in a show of support on the carriage ride there. Costia has been a good friend to her, but their intimate touches have become less and less. At first, they would mate only during Lexa’s heat and occasionally outside of the heat. But the last few heats, Lexa has chosen to suffer for a week in isolation. Costia understood of course. They were only fooling themselves to think their relationship was anything more than friendship.

Lexa is anxious to see Clarke after all these years. She was deeply saddened to hear about Jake and Abby’s passing. They were like second parents to her. She has seen them quite a few times over the past three years, always so polite. But Lexa could tell that there was a strain in her father and Jake’s friendship after her father broke the engagement. King Jake, much like Clarke, kept up a political alliance, but the friendship was almost completely gone. She knew her father missed Jake too. He was like a brother to him.

They step into the castle and Lexa is instantly hit with all the memories of her youth with Clarke. They would play hide and seek in the rose garden. They played pranks on Lexa’s annoying guard Titus. They fell asleep looking at the stars on Clarke’s bedroom balcony. They were so innocent back then. Oh how Lexa wishes they could go back to those times. 

The funeral is for later today and tomorrow will be Clarke’s coronation. It’s all happening so fast but Clarke needs to be in rule as soon as possible. There will be hell to pay when the alpha finds out who murdered her parents.

Lexa and company walk into the throne room to find Clarke sitting in her soon to be official throne. Lexa gasps when she looks at the blonde. She was right; much had changed in the past three years. Clarke is 18 years old and grown. Her body which was once curvy is now muscular. She has lost all her baby fat and it’s been replaced with sheer muscle. Her eyes, which were once so filled with adoration for Lexa, are now as cold as the icy blue that are watching Lexa carefully. Lexa sucks in a sharp breath. 

Clarke is scanning her figure. First, she takes in a large sniff, presumably smelling Lexa’s omega form fully. Clarke wasn’t presented as an alpha last time her and Lexa were in the same room. She has never smelt the older princess’ pheromones. Lexa watches as Clarke’s nose scrunches up in disgust. Lexa’s stomach curls in on itself. It’s because she’s mated. Alphas never find mated omegas nearly as appealing as unmated omegas or even betas. Lexa already wants to run away and cry at Clarke’s instant rejection. But then she sees the sadness and grief in Clarke’s eyes and firmly stands rooted in her place. She needs to be here for Clarke.

“King Gustus, King Indra. Arkadia welcomes you within our walls once more.” Clarke proclaims in a cold yet polite enough voice. Her eyes leave Lexa’s and Lexa feels more alone than she has in a long while. 

It hurts Lexa that Clarke doesn’t acknowledge her presence but then she realizes she’s still clutching onto Costia’s hand. Clarke must assume that her and Costia are happy and in love. Lexa quickly drops Costia’s hand but Clarke isn’t paying attention anymore. Her attention is now on the King and Queen of an allied nation. Head over heart.

“Thank you. We are deeply sorrow to hear of your father and mother’s passing. They were dear friends as you know. We considered them family. We will offer any support needed to help aid in finding the people responsible.” Gustus says truthfully.

“It is good to hear this as I have a few ideas of who might be behind my parents’ assassinations.” Clarke’s eyes drift over to Costia’s. Costia looks confused but then she realizes Clarke thinks her mother is behind this. Clarke’s facial expression doesn’t change but you can see the hate brimming in her eyes. Lexa isn’t sure if it’s because Costia is her mate or because she thinks Costia’s mother killed her parents. Perhaps it’s both.

“Make no mistake. I will avenge my parents’ death. As Queen of Arkadia, I will not let such atrocities go unanswered for.” Clarke’s voice is strong and distant. It breaks Lexa’s heart to see Clarke so.. so emotionless, so unlike the sweet warm idealistic Clarke she once had the honor of knowing. “If I need your assistance, I will inform you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some final preparation for my parents’ funerals to attend to.”

Clarke excuses herself and walks right past Lexa. She doesn’t even spare a glance in her direction. Lexa feels the cool air of Clarke walking by her and then Clarke’s alpha scent hits her. Lexa almost goes weak in the knees. Clarke might not like her scent as a mated omega but as a unmated alpha, Clarke’s scent is maddeningly irresistible. Lexa leans on Costia for support and the beta understands exactly why she’s so weak all of a sudden.

“Damn. Even a beta can smell how delicious your girl is.” Costia means for it to be playful but Lexa growls anyway, jealous at anyone who displays even the remotest of interests in Clarke. She knows she has no right to be this possessive but she can’t help it. She doesn’t think her wolf ever accepted Costia as her mate. Even during her heats, her wolf calls out for Clarke. Her wolf sees Clarke as her alpha. She wonders if Clarke still sees her in the same way.

The funeral is elaborate just like an royals’ funeral would be. Every noble Lexa has ever seen before is here. The Ice Nation ambassador is standing far off. Lexa can tell Clarke doesn’t want him here but for the sake of politics she plays up the facade of peace between the two fighting countries. She knows there will be great conflict if Clarke decides to wage war against Ice Nation. Clarke has an alliance with Trikru, which now has an even stronger alliance with Ice Nation thanks to Lexa’s marriage to Costia. Lexa knows her father would _want_ to support Arkadia in all this but if push comes to shove, he may have to support Ice Nation as it’s the more logical political move. Lexa hopes it doesn’t come to that though.

After the funeral, there is a repass where nobles would go up to Clarke and offer their condolences. The night is almost over and Lexa has yet to go up. It would be very rude for the Princess of Trikru not to go up to the soon to be Queen of Arkadia. Everyone knows of their unofficial engagement being called off and it has caused great drama. There are still rumours swirling around of what really happened. And not to mention, Lexa is mated to a Princess of Ice Nation now. Ice Nation, the people Clarke suspects to have killed her parents. Lexa needs to give her condolences to Clarke so rumours aren’t started. This will be her first real interaction with Clarke in three years. To say the least, it’s very nerve wracking.

Lexa approaches Clarke from behind and Lexa can see the second Clarke smells her as her body tenses up. Clarke slowly turns around and blue eyes meet green. For a second, Clarke looks like the old Clarke that Lexa once knew. There seems to be love in those eyes. For a second, Lexa feels hopeful. But then her hope is dashed when the blue pools she loves so much hardens and turns to ice. Lexa feels her mate’s hand on her back and realizes that Costia followed her to say her condolences as well.

Clarke stares at Lexa blankly. Lexa is here with her wife, her mate. Clarke will never stop loving the omega in front of her. It’s the reason why she has yet to mate anyone. She loves Lexa and her wolf refuses to look at anyone else. She hoped that maybe just maybe Lexa still loved her. But the second Lexa walked in holding her mate’s hand, Clarke realized that Lexa took Clarke’s words to heart. She gave her marriage a chance and fell for the Ice Nation princess. All of Clarke’s remaining hope shattered in that moment and now she knows she has to fully move on. It’s all been a act until now, but now she has to try. She can’t let her emotions play with her anymore. She has a country to rule.

“Clarke.” Lexa says softly. Clarke looks at her surprised that she didn’t refer to her as Queen or Princess. But Lexa isn’t going to pretend. She loves Clarke. She’s in love with Clarke. She isn’t going to be so formal as to call her by her royal title. 

“Princess.” Clarke croaks out, her heart beating rapidly. She can’t control herself right now. Lexa called her by her first name. She used to love hearing her name out of Lexa’s pretty mouth. Clarke inwardly berates herself. Lexa isn’t hers and she isn’t Lexa’s. Head over heart. Head over heart. “I’d like to thank you on behalf of the realm for coming. The former King and Queen would have been deeply touched that you came.”

Lexa’s hurt by how cold Clarke is acting. ‘The former King and Queen?!’ Clarke is acting as if Abby and Jake were strangers to Lexa, as if Lexa is a stranger to Clarke. It infuriates her. How could she diminish everything Lexa was to her? To her family? Lexa was to be a Griffin. She was to be Clarke’s. Lexa’s anger drains from her body as soon as she sees the brief sad glance Clarke throws Costia’s way and she realizes she has no right to be angry. This is how Clarke is coping. She is shutting herself off from love. First, she lost Lexa. Now, she lost her parents. Clarke has nobody left.

“I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. Jake and Abby were special. They were important to me and they will be deeply missed by me as well as everyone who had the pleasure of being in their presence.” Lexa says sincerely. She sees Clarke’s facade break momentarily, obviously touched by the words. Clarke has yet to acknowledge Costia and at this point, Lexa doesn’t think she’s going to. She supposes there is only so far Clarke’s political facade can go.

“That’s…” Clarke stumbles over her words for a moment and it’s the first time Lexa has seen Clarke’s composure break this whole trip. “How nice of you to say. I hope you and your mate enjoy the rest of your time in Arkadia. I will be retiring for the evening. Goodnight..Lexa.” Clarke mumbles her name and Lexa’s heart soars. She never thought she would hear her name escape Clarke’s lips again. Maybe she’s melting Clarke’s icy walls, slowly but surely.

///

Everyone is outside for Clarke’s coronation. Lexa is standing with her father and mother and of course Costia. The music plays and Clarke emerges. Lexa has to fight back the whimper deep in her throat. Clarke is wearing a white gown with gorgeous black beads sporadically scattered on the lace design. Her eyes are a stark contrast from the gown with a black smokey eye. Her lipstick is blood red. Lexa has never seen such a beautiful creature, so stunning.

Clarke looks fierce and powerful. She’s pumping out the most intimidating pheromones she possibly can. Everyone bows their head in submission, even other alphas, hell even Lexa’s king alpha father. Clarke is crowned reigning Queen of Arkadia and the crowd erupts in cheers. The celebration is outside as so many people came to the coronation. Clarke sits on her throne, which had been brought outside for the party. She watches as everyone dances and laughs, careful not to look at Lexa. It hurts too much. And now that she’s officially Queen, she has no time to be selfish. She owes it to her parents to not be selfish.

Lexa has been staring at Clarke throughout the whole celebration. Countless unmated omegas has made there way over to the newly crowned Queen. And with each one, Lexa is finding it harder and harder to suppress her jealously. The only thing that is keeping her growls to a minimum is that Clarke politely declines every one of their company. Costia has been by Lexa side the whole time, trying to calm her friend. But little does Lexa know, Costia’s friendly comfort looks very much like a lover’s tender touch and it’s driving Clarke mad. Both know they have no right to be jealous, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t.

A noble woman Diana Sydney approaches Lexa and Costia. She is one of the top gossip producers in all the lands. Lexa reminds herself to be careful of what she says around the woman.

“Diana, how are you?” Lexa sweetly says and Diana smiles.

“Princess Lexa, I’m well. And how are you and your lovely mate?” Diana smiles politely but is digging for dirt, Lexa can tell. Costia grabs Lexa’s hand and kisses her cheek to show that they are strong as ever. Clarke of course sees and is brimming even more so in jealousy. 

“We are great.” Lexa smiles at Costia’s affection. They have gotten good at acting like a mated couple in love. So good that Clarke believes it too. Lexa doesn’t even pick up on Clarke’s obvious jealousy as she is blinded by her own jealousy.

“Well that’s absolutely marvelous to hear.” Diana says before moving in closer to whisper the next part. “It’s a shame about Queen Clarke never finding a new mate as stunning as yours.” Diana says and now Lexa is pissed. Costia squeezes her hand and Lexa knows she needs to calm down or she will reveal to Diana her true feelings for Clarke.

“The Queen is a strong leader. She will find the right mate for her when the time comes.” Costia cuts in for Lexa and Diana nods along, watching Lexa’s facial expression carefully.

“Oh no doubt she will. I just don’t know why she is so picky. Almost all the omegas in the land have thrown themselves at the girl and she’s still pure. Rumour has it, she’s never taken anyone to bed even during her ruts. Arkadians are so proud of their ‘pure’ Queen. What do you think of that Lexa? Perhaps she is still hung up on someone?” Diana says with a small smirk on her face, proud of her not so subtle insinuation.

Lexa is beyond shocked. Clarke is still a virgin? She assumed Clarke would have taken countless omegas and betas to her bed during her ruts and maybe even out of ruts as well. It pained her immensely to think about so she chose not to. But to hear Clarke is still pure. Maybe she still loves Lexa after all. They never said the words ‘I love you’ to each other but it was always there, in every touch and soft smile. Lexa would do anything to feel Clarke’s touch upon her skin or see her smile brightly once more.

“I think we shouldn’t be gossiping about the crowned Queen of Arkadia in her house. Lovely talking to you Diana.” Lexa quips and walks off, leaving a stunned Costia and Diana in her wake.

The coronation ends and Clarke bids everyone farewell. Lexa doesn’t see her again as her family leaves for Arkadia hours later. 

///

_6 Months Later_

Costia had asked Lexa a month ago if Echo come stay in TriKru Castle. She also asked Lexa if she would be okay with an open marriage. Of course, it would be secret and the public could never know. Lexa readily agreed. At this point, there was no physical intimacy between her and Costia anymore. It truly was just friendship, a friendship she adored but platonic friendship all the more.

Echo is coming in a day’s time and she is bringing along Costia’s oldest sister, Ontari. Ontari is an omega and she is to be Queen when Nia is no longer around. From what Lexa has been told, Ontari has hair as black and ravens and her eyes are equally dark. She is entrancing and stunning, but also very picky. She has yet to choose a mate and it infuriates her mother to no end. So many suitable alphas thrown out of the castle at Ontari’s dissatisfaction.

Lexa did not meet her when she wed Costia as she was away on a peacekeeping trip. Lexa’s parents are throwing a ball for Ontari and little does Lexa know, Clarke will be in attendance. Leax’s parents have kept it quiet that Clarke is coming as they know Lexa will react negatively. Clarke has not been in these halls since Lexa presented and abandoned her to go mate with Costia. And drama will definitely ensue.

///

“You must be Echo.” Lexa says friendly. She holds no contempt for the girl in front of her who has her mate’s heart. Lexa knows what it feels like to love someone they can never truly have. If she can allow for Costia and Echo to be together, even in secret, she is of course going to do so. They deserve happiness.

“And you must be Lexa.” Echo hugs Lexa and whispers to her. “Thank you for taking such good care of her. And thank you for letting me come back to me.” 

“Of course. Costia deserves happiness and so do you.” Lexa says genuinely. Echo looks at her sadly.

“You deserve happiness as well my princess.” Echo states sincerely and Lexa somberly looks away at the party.

“That is not something I will be afforded in this lifetime I’m afraid.” Lexa mumbles wistfully.

“Ah so you’re the omega my sister mated?” Lexa’s eyes widens when she hears that. She turns around and sees Ontari. Ontari is gorgeous just as the rumours said she was. She seems overly confident in her beauty thought. Something about her just rubs Lexa the wrong way.

“I am Costia’s mate yes, but usually people just call me Lexa.” Lexa plainly states and she sees the glint of mischief in Ontari’s eyes.

“Well just Lexa, it’s lovely to meet you.”

“You as well, Princess Ontari.”

Lexa talks to Ontari, Echo, and Costia a bit more but then she feels a familiar presence. Her eyes catch a glimpse of blonde she knows all too well and she excuses herself from Echo. She follows the blonde and that smell of pure alpha. _Clarke_. The party is in full swing. Lexa desperately weaves in and out of strangers until she reaches her target. Without thinking, Lexa grabs at Clarke’s arm and pulls the alpha to look at her. Clarke looks angry at first for being grabbed but then her again turns into shock and then confusion.

“Lexa?” Clarke whispers harshly. Clarke isn’t sure why Lexa grabbed her like this. It’s wildly inappropriate and confusing. But Clarke can’t help but revel in the contact. Mated omegas aren’t suppose to smell good to alphas but Lexa still does and it’s infuriating. She remembers when she first smelt Lexa back when she came to Arkadia six months ago. She scrunched up her features in great confusion because Lexa smelt like the best omega she’s ever scented before. It confuses her to no end because Lexa is mated and that just shouldn’t happen. It defies everything she has learned. But Lexa is anything but predictable, Clarke supposes.

“Clarke..I - I’m sorry for…” Lexa trails off and removes her iron death grip on Clarke’s arm. The touch is electric for both of them as the haven’t been in close contact like this for years.

“What are you doing?” Clarke hisses out confused. She doesn’t mean to be short with Lexa but she doesn’t understand what Lexa is doing.

“I..” Lexa suddenly looks unsure of herself and Clarke instantly feels bad for snapping at her.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you. That was rude of me.” Clarke slips into her political persona again and it drives Lexa up a wall.

“Stop..I just want to talk to my best friend again. Please can we go -” Lexa’s soft plea is cut off by her sister in law.

“Lexa, my lovely sister in law, you have yet to introduce me to the Queen of Arkadia.” Ontari’s voice is sickeningly sweet and Lexa immediately knows what she’s doing. She instantly feels that familiar jealously coiling in her stomach. Then she sees Clarke’s eyes widen in shock and realizes that Clarke is going to politely decline Ontari just as she has declined everyone else. It saddens Lexa that Clarke has not found a mate but it also brings great ease and peace to her wolf that her alpha still is true to only her.

Except Clarke doesn’t politely decline her. She entertains Ontari’s flirting, right in front of Lexa. Lexa is outraged and Clarke at least looks a little guilty before Lexa storms off. Lexa sits in the hall and cries until she hears some of Ontari’s servants walk by, gossiping of course.

“I heard Princess Ontari say that she only came here to meet Queen Clarke. Apparently, Ontari has had her sights on the Queen for quite some time now. That’s why she’s refused all her other suitors.” One servant says to another as they walk down the hall, not seeing Lexa as she hides in the shadows. 

“Well I just heard Queen Clarke invite Princess Ontari to Arkadia for a month visit following her time in TriKru. It seems as if we might be permanently moving to Arkadia.” The servants chuckles and Lexa’s heart bottoms out.

Lexa is angry. The party is nearing it’s end and Clarke and Ontari are nowhere to be found. Lexa shakes her head. This can’t be happening. Clarke can’t mate with Ontari in her castle. Clarke can’t mate with Ontari period. Lexa realizes she’s being irrational but she doesn’t care. Lexa can’t stop her omega and she trudges towards Clarke’s room. She dismisses Clarke’s guards and knocks on the door repeatedly until a half dressed Clarke answers the door, annoyed. Clarke is dressed in her boxers and a sports bra. Lexa barely suppress the moan she can feel ripping its way from her throat. Lexa can feel the wetness pooling in her panties. 

“Lexa? What the hell are you doing?” Clarke asks annoyed, confused, and a little turned on. Lexa can’t just come to her room at night, looking like _that_. Well to be fair, Lexa always looks like _that_ to Clarke.

“Is _she_ with you?” Lexa spits out the word ‘she’ with such venom.

“Who? Ontari?” Clarke asks confused, but slightly catching on. Could Lexa be...jealous?

“Yes.” Lexa says suddenly vulnerable. She starts to realizes how bad of an idea this was. She has no right to be all jealous and angry at Clarke. She left Clarke. She told her she was running away with her and then changed her mind, left without saying goodbye, and mated to another. Clarke can do whatever and whoever she pleases and Lexa can’t say a damn thing. Logically, she knows all of this. But her wolf hasn’t seem to have gotten the message.

Clarke looks around the halls and sees some nobles turning the corner. This isn’t good. She can’t afford rumours of an affair with Princess Lexa Woods so early on in her rule. Clarke hastily pulls Lexa in and shuts the door. Lexa looks at her with wide eyes, darkening in lust. Clarke feels herself getting aroused by the mere sight of the frazzled, breathing heavy omega. She can smell Lexa’s arousal and it’s driving her insane.

“No she’s not here. And for the record, the only reason I pulled you in here was because I didn’t want people to assume things.” Clarke snaps and Lexa looks like a puppy that has been kicked. Clarke instantly feels bad.

“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t mean that. I -”

“And what did you mean Clarke?!” Lexa snaps right back at her. 

“What do you want from me Lexa? Do you want me to say that I want you?” Clarke growls out and Lexa backs up until her back hits the door. She is turned on right now, she just wants Clarke to take her up against this very wall. “Do you want me to say that I’ve only wanted you my whole life? That my wolf calls out to you in every rut I’ve ever had? That I could never bed a beta or even an omega because I already had the best and she left me to sleep with a Ice Nation beta?” Clarke growls loud and Lexa tilts her head in submission. Lexa feels another rush of arousal hit her and she’s weak in the knees.

“Clarke..please…” Lexa whimpers, moving her thighs together in need of friction.

“What do you want from me Lexa?” Clarke growls, her face nuzzling into Lexa’s neck. She pulls Lexa impossibly closer and takes a big whiff of her scent. Lexa sighs of in relief of her alpha being so close.

“Tell me!” Clarke barks out, loud and demanding. 

“I want you to..to take me.” Lexa whimpers and Clarke releases Lexa from her hold, shocked at the words coming out of her mouth. Clarke’s face softens visibly.

“Get out.” Clarke says quietly, returning to her bed. Lexa looks at her shocked. Two seconds ago, Clarke was pressed up against her and now she’s telling her to get out. What did she do wrong?

“What? I - I don’t understand.” Lexa mumbles insecurely. Clarke hates hurting Lexa.

“You will regret this. You are not thinking clearly. Go back to your mate.” Clarke says in a clipped tone.

“I _am_ thinking clearly Clarke, clearer than I have in much too long.” Lexa says softly. Clarke just shakes her head, she looks so tired.

“Why are you here? Why do you care if Ontari was in my bed? You are mated to another.” Clarke says exhausted.

“I came to warn you. Ontari wishes to be your mate. She desires to -”

“I know. That’s why I invited her to Arkadia.” Clarke states plainly and Lexa’s eyes widen.

“Are you serious?! Out of all the omegas you could have chosen, you chose her!” Lexa screams and Clarke frowns.

“Is this because she’s your precious mates sister? Or is it because you wish me to forever stay unmated?! You left me to wed another! You have no right to be indignant right now!” Clarke growls out and Lexa feels her fury grow.

“You deserve better than her Clarke! You deserve love.” Lexa growls out and Clarke bitterly laughs.

“But I never will have that will I?! Like you said, royals can’t afford love. I believe that was in the letter in which you crushed my heart for sport.” Clarke spat out.

“I love you! I left because I had to. Ice Nation was going to attack both our lands. I was saving our realms!”

“You surely didn’t save mine from Ice Nation slime. My parents were murdered by your precious Costia’s mother. You didn’t save me. Make no mistake Lexa. All you did was break me.” Clarke growls out, her body pressed against Lexa’s. Their breathing heavy, both panting. Their eyes wide and furious. Lexa is about to scream back at her when Clarke crashes her lips into the omega’s.

The omega whimpers and kisses back heatedly. Clarke pushes her on the bed and quickly straddles her. The alpha wastes no time and kisses Lexa again. Lexa pulls Clarke impossibly closer, feeling Clarke’s hardness growing fast. Clarke bites her lip hard, enough to draw blood. Lexa moans at the metallic taste as Clarke’s grinding movements become more desperate. 

This isn’t loving. This isn’t making love. It’s not innocent and sweet. It’s nothing like Lexa imagined her first time with Clarke would be like, but god she wants more. It’s the release of all the arousal and sexual tension that has been pent up in the alpha and omega for years. Clarke undoes all the intricate ties of her dress.

“Just rip it off for fucks sake.” Lexa mewls out and Clarke’s eyes become completely pitch black at the comment. Clarke rips of Lexa’s dress, leaving her in panties and a bustier. Lexa pulls off Clarke’s sports bra and sees Clarke’s breasts for the first time. Lexa bites her lip before diving in and sucking _hard_ all around Clarke’s breasts and nipples.

Clarke takes off Lexa’s bustier and they are left clad in only their underwears. It’s fast and rough and hot. Clarke sucks and bites her way down to Lexa’s hip bone. She bites hard, leaving marks everywhere she goes. But not claiming marks. No. There’s only one place a claiming mark can be put and it’s painfully obvious to Clarke that Lexa’s pulse point on her neck is already filled by another’s fang mark.

Lexa moans and gasps, as her hips buck up, eager for contact. This is all happening so fast, not that she’s regretting any of this. Clarke is so skilled with her mouth. Lexa is amazed that she’s so skilled and still a virgin. Then it hits Lexa. Clarke is still a virgin and they are dangerously close to having sex.

“Clarke.” Lexa breathes out. Clarke immediately stops and looks up at Lexa.

“You’re a virgin.” Lexa dumbly states and Lexa’s cheeks heat up in embarrassment for the obvious statement.

“I know. Is that a problem?” Clarke asks gently and Lexa nods a no.

“No of course not.” Lexa breathes out. Clarke nods and leans back up for a bruising kiss.

“Do you want to stop?” Clarke whispers against her lips and it’s the most tender thing to happen throughout this whole exchange.

“No.” Lexa responds firmly and Clarke smirks.

“Good.” Clarke sucks Lexa’s bottom lip as she rips off Lexa’s panties. Clarke hastily takes off her own boxers. Clarke is nervous she won’t be good at this or she won’t last long or something along those lines. But then Lexa starts moving her bare hips against Clarke and the blonde doesn’t seem to care about anything more than filling up her omega. Her omega. Nobody else’s. _Mine!_

Clarke pushes the tip of her member in Lexa. Lexa moans at the contact. She’s never had something this big inside her. Costia is a beta female so she doesn’t have a penis. It’s a very different feeling, but that could just be because this is Clarke and she’s irrevocably head over heels in love with the alpha. Clarke pauses for a second before pushing more and more of her length in. Once both of them are used to the new sensation, Clarke starts rutting fast and hard into Lexa. Lexa loves it. Her alpha is filling her up so good. Her alpha. Not Ontari’s. Nobody elses. Hers. _Mine._

The bedroom is filled with loud drawn out moans from Lexa and deep guttural groans from Clarke as the bed squeaks and the headboard slams against the thick wall. Clarke can feel her balls tightening but she doesn’t want to come first. She sucks and nips at Lexa’s nipples and rubs Lexa’s clit roughly with one of her hands. Lexa comes harder than she ever has in her entire life, all of her heats included. Her screams are so loud that it fills the halls nearby.

Lexa feels like she’s about to blackout. She’s heard of people having such strong orgasms they almost pass out but she never ever in her life thought it would happen to her. Clarke finishes inside her and Lexa’s feels her alpha’s come soaking her inner walls. Clarke pulls out and presses a tender kiss to Lexa’s forehead before collapsing next to her. The sex was rough but the after sex certainly isn’t. Both girls are too tired to put up their walls right now. 

Lexa turns around and cuddles into Clarke’s body. Clarke wraps her big strong arms around the omega and inhales her scent. She kisses her temple gently.

“It should have been you.” Lexa mumbles before drifting into sleep. Both know what she meant. The two girls fall asleep, content for the first time since Clarke was 15 and Lexa was 17.

When Clarke wakes up in the morning, she traces the soft skin of Lexa’s back. She admires the peaceful beauty of Lexa’s face. Clarke wipes away her own tears and kisses Lexa’s cheeks. She knows what she has to do. Lexa is mated to another. This is exactly why Clarke left all those years ago and refused to return. She know it deeply hurt Lexa, but she knew this would happen. And it can’t happen. Lexa is with someone else, mated for life. Clarke can’t get in the middle of that. 

So Clarke reluctantly pulls herself out of bed. She hurriedly writes Lexa yet another letter and then she slips out into the early morning, riding off back to Arkadia. Much heartbreak is left ahead for these two young girls, but their love story is certainly far from over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I promised myself I wouldn't start anymore fics until 'Small Town, Big Love' and 'Leaving Home (My Heart Never Left You)' were finished. But then this idea popped into my head last night and I just couldn't resist. Good news is that this is not a super long fic. I think there will be one or two chapters left and I have it all planned out in my head. 
> 
> Also, I realize how messed up the societies are here. But the fic is written with the mentality of 16th-18th century royalty. So stuff like arranged marriages were commonplace. Lexa, however, was given a choice for her mating. She was just strongly encouraged to choose Costia. 
> 
> I love comments and would love to know what y'all think.
> 
> If you have any questions you'd like to ask me about this fic or any other of my works, ask away on my tumblr. http://clexainparadise.tumblr.com/


	2. True Mates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa finds out some startling news. Clarke goes ahead with a plan to avenge her parent's deaths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes:
> 
> Trigger Warning: Violence (fight scene) in chapter. Minor Character Death.

Lexa wakes up slowly. Her first instinct is to reach out for the warmth of Clarke’s body that she remembers falling asleep on. Clarke. The love of her life. They finally connected on the most intimate of levels. Lexa knows she is mated but her omega has never felt more at peace than when she was in Clarke’s arms last night. That alone should tell her that Costia will never be the right mate for her. Lexa’s eyes are still closed as her arms flail around the bed in search of her alpha. But after a few more seconds of feeling nothing but the coldness of empty sheets, Lexa peeks her eyes open to find herself alone.

“No..” Lexa whimpers out, curling in on herself. Clarke has left her. Clarke is gone. Lexa shakes her head, instantly feeling the tears welling in her eyes. Her heart lurches. Of course Clarke left. How could Lexa be so foolish to think she would stay? Lexa is mated to another. Did she really think Clarke would cuddle with her in the morning only for Lexa to leave to return to her mate? Lexa’s omega doesn’t understand this though. No, Lexa’s omega is thrashing and kicking inside her. She’s crying out in because of the rejection. Her alpha has left her. Her omega doesn’t comprehend that Lexa left her first.

Lexa looks over at the dresser and sees yet another letter addressed to her. Lexa gets up hastily, with a thin sheet wrapped around her sore body. Walking is proving a little difficult. Clarke is rather large and Lexa isn’t used to being stretched so much. Lexa picks up the letter and opens it up, eager to see what Clarke’s parting words are to her.

_My Dearest Lexa,_

_Last night should not have happened. You are mated to another. It doesn’t matter what we might feel for each other. It was wrong. I know that is what I should say, what I should think. But it is not what I feel. I feel as if I finally found what I’ve been searching for since I left your castle walls as a young child still growing into their wolf._

_I search for you in the rose garden we used to play in, in your old bedchambers you slept in at my home, on the balcony of my bedroom where we used to stargaze. I search for your scent and sometimes I feel you with me. It’s silly I know. But it’s become a game of mine. A game that gifts me with not only fond recollections of the past but also the bitter truth of our present and future. For I know, you will never be mine._

_We are not fated so it seems. Last night, although it gave me the greatest of pleasure and yet again solidified my love for you, only brings waves of further pain to my heart. I got a taste of something that will never truly be mine to have. And I refuse to indulge in ‘what should have been.’ I have to look toward the future as do you. Unfortunately, it is a future that will not have you in it._

_My love for you grows stronger everyday like a well nurtured rose. Perhaps it is my fault for not ripping it out from its roots. I don’t know what last night was for you. But I can assume it was just a moment of weakness, a moment where past memories became too much to bear and a dam broke. I can see it in your eyes that you love your mate. I see your tender touches. I see it all even though I know you presume I see nothing. Please, don’t make this harder. You know you can’t have the both of us and you chose long ago who would be your forever. That person is not me no matter how much I wish it was._

_I wish you the best. I wish you happiness. I wish you love._

_Goodbye,  
C.G._

Lexa closes her eyes, tears still escaping through her long lashes. Her hands shake as she clutches onto what very well might be the last letter ever from the love of her life, her should be mate. She knows she has to let Clarke go. Clarke is right. She did choose. It might have been for the safety of her country, but she nonetheless chose. 

Lexa somberly sits on the bed with the letter still in her hand. She looks around the room with empty eyes. All of Clarke’s belongings are still here. The alpha must have left with only the clothes she threw on her back. Her servants, carriage, and guards must still be in the halls of the castle. Clarke probably warned the necessary people that she would be leaving early alone for some important made up matter of state. 

Emotionally drained with her heart yet again ripped out of her chest, Lexa snuggles into the cold sheets where her lover once laid not long ago. She breathes in deeply and whimpers. She can still smell Clarke in the pillows. For right now, she can pretend Clarke is still here with her. For right now, she doesn’t have to let go of her love just yet. For right now, it’s enough.

Lexa wakes up a few hours later and gets dressed. She hopes she doesn’t reek of alpha. Clarke is a very strong alpha though, perhaps the strongest in the land. It’s going to be obvious what happened last night if she runs into anyone in the halls. Lexa tries to sneak through the halls but of course right before she is to enter her shared bedchamber with Costia, Ontari sneaks up on her.

“Lexa, late night I see.” Ontari says sweetly and Lexa reluctantly turns around. She can tell Ontari is sniffing her and she sees the exact moment Ontari recognizes the scent. Her eyes grow angry and she lightly growls. Lexa has to suppress her own growl because Clarke isn’t hers. But all she wants to do is scream at Ontari to back off because Clarke _should_ be hers.

“Ontari. If you’ll excuse me I have to -” Lexa tries to move toward the door but Ontari blocks it.

“Listen here.” Ontari’s voice is much colder now. “You are mated to my sister. I don’t know what your arrangement is with her but since Echo is back, I assume you have some sort of agreement in place. I do hope you don’t think you can have Queen Clarke though. She is mine.” Ontari’s voice is back to sweet and Lexa just wants to punch her in the face.

“I know you two have a..history.” Ontari pauses, looking Lexa up and down. “But her future will be with me. I know what I want and I will not have a _mated_ omega get in the way. You’ve had your fun with her but as soon I step into the walls of Arkadia’s castle, that fun will be over. And it’ll be my turn to have a chance with the alpha you abandoned. Yes, we’ve all heard the stories about the heartbroken pup. It’s sad really. I’m sure she will need someone to mend her heart. I plan for that person to be me.”

Lexa frowns, shooting a intense glare at Ontari. If looks could kill, Ontari would already be rotting in hell right now. “Clarke will never choose someone like you.” Lexa growls out. She sounds so sure of herself, but inside she’s deeply worried. Clarke very well might choose Ontari as her mate and that worries Lexa deeply. 

“Oh she will. She’s never invited an omega to stay in Arkadia for anything but politics. But her invite to me was personal, she said it herself. I’m actually quite happy to inform you that Queen Clarke didn’t invite me to her castle as the future princess of Ice Nation. No, quite the contrary. You see, she invited me as an unmated omega who she would like to court officially.” Ontari says in that sickly sweet voice again. Lexa wants to throw up. Clarke is courting Ontari? How could this happen? Of all the people, she chooses her?!

“Well I’ll let you get some sleep. I’m sure you had some fun last night. Think of it as a farewell.” Ontari says before she struts off, happy with the impression she left. Lexa rips open the door and hastily slams it shut once she gets inside. She closes her eyes and leans against the door, crying. 

Costia is up from the bed in a moment’s notice, rushing over to her distressed mate. 

“Lexa? What happened?” Costia asks worriedly. The beta can smell Clarke all over Lexa and she knows they must have had sex. Costia isn’t jealous. She’s relieved her mate has found some comfort in the arms of her true love just as she did last night with Echo. Only now something is obviously wrong.

“C-clarke..she’s courting your sister.” Lexa sobs out, throwing her arms around Costia. Costia’s eyes widen. She knows Ontari and Clarke were talking last night but she had no idea how well they hit it off. Truthfully, it makes no sense. Clarke hates Ice Nation. And now she’s planning to mate with her sister? Something isn’t right. Maybe Lexa got it wrong.

“Are you sure?” Costia asks gently, treading carefully as she recognizes Lexa’s current fragile state.

“Yes. Ontari said so. And last night C-clarke mentioned that she knew Ontari wanted to mate w-with her and that’s why she invited her to stay with h-her.” Lexa softly hiccups as she explains. Costia’s heart breaks. This poor girl loves someone who can never be hers and all because she was just trying to do right for her country, for her people.

“You stayed with her last night?” Costia says and Lexa knows what she means by ‘stayed with.’ Lexa nods, refusing to look at Costia.

“She left before I even woke up. S-she left me a letter. She said she loves be but she can’t see me anymore. It’s too hard. I’ve lost her forever.” Lexa cries into Costia’s arms following her over to their bed. Costia soothes her for an hour until Lexa falls asleep in her arms.

///

The next few weeks are hard for Lexa. All she keeps hearing about are rumors of how well Clarke and Ontari are getting along in Arkadia. Clarke throws Ontari a huge ball the first night she’s there. It’s lavish and apparently very romantic. Lexa’s heart cries out for her lost lover. She can’t help but imagine herself in Ontari’s shoes. If her parents never broke their engagement, her and Clarke should have been mated for a little over two years now. They would probably already have a little pup of their own. Would Clarke spoil her with little displays of affection? Would Clarke have thrown her great balls in her name? Lexa shakes her head. Clarke’s right. She shouldn’t be indulging in ‘what should have been.’ The reality is that Lexa is mated to another and Clarke is well on her way to being mated as well. 

Clarke takes Ontari on dates. The first one is a boat ride around the river complete with a picnic. The next one, Clarke travels with her to the best winery in all of Arkadia and they spend the weekend there. Lexa hears rumors that they share more than wine those few days and it makes Lexa more sick to her stomach than she already is. Lexa has been feeling nauseous for weeks now. She assumes she’s come down with some sickness. And then it hits her. Pups with Clarke. Pups. Pregnant. She cannot be pregnant with Clarke’s child. Could she? Her whole world begins to get fuzzy and she can’t breathe. She feels just like she felt when she heard about her parent’s proposal for Clarke to mate with Raven all those years ago. Her body is covered in a sheen sweat and she can’t see color. Everything goes black.

Lexa wakes up in her bedchambers with Costia by her side and the castle doctor Nyko monitoring her. Costia pushes her hair back gently and pulls her close, pumping out comforting pheromones. Costia’s a beta though so everything she does is dulled. It’s not like an alpha’s explosion of pheromones. It’s not like Clarke.

“How are you feeling?” Nyko asks in his doctor tone.

“Nauseous. And I have a headache.” Lexa croaks out. Costia gives her some water and Lexa gulps it until Nyko tells her to slow down.

“That’s what I thought. You are pregnant.” Nyko says with a smile on his face. “Congratulations. I had no idea you were true mates. You two should be ecstatic. It’s very rare an omega female and a beta female can conceive. I’ll give you some alone time and come back to check on you later.” Nyko says happily as he leaves the room to give the mates a private moment to celebrate. Only they aren’t celebrating.

“I - I..I’m -” Lexa stammers out.

“You’re pregnant...with Clarke’s baby.” Costia says stunned. 

Lexa looks lost and confused. Clarke wasn’t in rut. She wasn’t in heat. Sure, it’s possible to get pregnant outside of it but it’s even less likely when there is no knot involved. Lexa didn’t even think there was a possibility. Her omega is crying out tears of pure unadulterated joy. She’s carrying her alpha’s pup. She never thought she would have children of her own once she married Costia. But her logical side knows this isn’t something to celebrate. 

Lexa starts breathing heavy like she’s having another panic attack. Costia immediately tries calming her down, telling her to breathe in and out slow. Eventually, Lexa is calmed down.

“What do you want to do Lex?” Costia gently says.

“Keep it.” Lexa mumbles, her head laying on Costia’s shoulder. She knows it’ll be hard. They will have to lie to everyone, but this her and Clarke’s pup. She’s going to protect the baby until her last dying breath.

Once Lexa feels up to it, Costia and her enter the throne room to discuss the news with her parents. Lexa asks everyone to clear the room so that it’s only her, Costia, and her father and mother present. Her parents look a tad worried and unsure what this could be about.

“What is the meaning of this Lexa?” Her mother asks warily.

“I am with child.” Lexa forces the words out. Her voice sounds strong and sure, but inside she’s terrified of her parents’ reaction. Her parents are stunned into silence. There is a long pause, actually it’s very very long pause.

“I am keeping the baby. And -” Lexa breaks the silence only to be cut off by Gustus.

“It’s Clarke’s isn’t it?” Lexa looks at him guiltily and nods.

“Did you know about this?” Gustus asks Costia. “Did you know that your mate was intimate with another?”

“Yes I did.” Costia answers fiercely. She believes Lexa deserves happiness and so does she. That’s why they agree to their arrangement. Lexa’s parents of course have no idea about the agreement. Gustus growls loudly and Indra immediately starts pumping out pheromones to calm him.

“I should have known this would happen.” Gustus growls out. “How do you expect us to hide this Lexa?!” 

“I don’t want to hide it father. Clarke deserves to know, it’s her baby too. I can’t keep such a secret from her.” Lexa says desperately.

“Do you not understand what this could mean? Lexa, we may be royals but we depend on the support of our nobles. And our nobles hold us in a certain esteem. It’s one thing if you have your affairs in private, but the second it gets out that you are carrying the Queen of Arkadia’s pup, there will be chaos in both our realms. This might even be enough to precipitate Queen Nia to attack! She could claim that you have disrespected your vows to her daughter and wants revenge. The nobles very well might turn on us. But they won’t just turn on us. They will turn on your precious Clarke as well. She is new to rule. She will be the first to get ripped apart.” Gustus says his words carefully but honestly. He doesn’t wish to make things hard on his daughter but he has to put his head over his heart for the better of his people.

Lexa growls angrily at the idea of Clarke being attacked. She clutches her stomach protectively.

“Well then, what do you suggest we do?” Costia asks firmly. She needs to keep a clear mind about this.

“There is a way.” Indra calls out and all eyes are on her. “It may be rare for beta females and omega females to conceive a pup, but it can happen. The circumstances have to be correct. A pup can only be conceived if the pair are true mates and the omega is in heat. We can say you two are true mates.”

“But mother, true mates are so rare. They say there’s only a handful every generation.” Lexa says, reluctant to agree to this plan. She just wants her Clarke.

“They will believe because we are their Queen and their King. And you are their Princess. As long as we stick to the plan, nobody will object.” Indra says staunchly.

“I agree with your mother. This is the best we can do Lexa. And you must never tell Clarke. She will want a role in the child’s life and that will cause too many question.” Gustus says and Lexa shakes her head.

“Clarke deserves to know! This is her child! Our child!” Lexa yells hysterically.

“Lexa! Now you need to listen to me.” Gustus gets up from his throne and grabs Lexa gently by the shoulders. Costia growls protectively but she’s no match for the Alpha King’s return growl. “If you want your parents, your mate, your sisters, your unborn pup, and your precious Alpha Queen Clarke, you will need to listen to me about this. Clarke can never know. She has to believe it is Costia’s child. If not, chaos will erupt. Power is a very fickle thing. If anyone sees our weaknesses, they will strike us down and kill every last one of us to ensure our bloodline can never ascend to reign again. Do you hear me?” Gustus says in a low but determined voice.

"It is Clarke's child. Even if we have to keep it a secret, she has to know the truth. I can't have her thinking our love was a lie! I won't be able to lie to her." Lexa desperately pleas with her stubborn father.

"I hope you remember that there is universal law that an alpha may never lay an unwanted hand on an omega. I would have for Clarke to be executed." Gustus says coldly and Lexa growls.

"Clarke would never force herself on me. It was completely consensual. I would never let anyone think otherwise." Lexa's face is red with fury at the insinuation. Clarke loves her and every touch is wanted, every kiss is welcomed, every declaration of love is cherished. 

"Perhaps you wouldn't. But maybe your King would." Lexa growls louder than an omega should be able to. Her father is saying that he will lie and say Clarke broke universal law to be with Lexa. He will have her executed and all to preserve his kingdom, his legacy. 

"You wouldn't dare!"

"I would if it meant protecting the realm." Gustus states plainly. "You have to make sacrifices as a Royal, Lexa. You are a Princess first. Everything else comes second."

"I will follow along with this ruse for Clarke's well being and for my child. But don't think for a second that I am doing this for you father." Lexa spits out bitterly, her hands clutching at her tummy. She needs to protect her baby and Clarke. She needs to protect her family. And she will do so by never seeing her best friend and one and only love ever again. Lexa was right all those years ago. Royals cannot afford love. It is only a weakness to be taken advantaged of by those who seek their power.

///

_Two Months Later_

Clarke is in Ice Nation for the first time ever. She is in the middle of working on her plan for tonight when the bedroom door is knocked on loudly. She knows exactly who it is too. She fakes a smile at the intruder.

“Come in.” Clarke says in her collected voice. Ever since become Queen, her subjects adore her and her enemies fear her. She is viewed as untouchable by most. But Clarke is not foolish. She knows she has a looming threat and that threat is Ice Nation. Clarke has figured out the best way to neutralize that threat. Her solution? Well it’s walking through her bedroom doors right now. Ontari Winters.

Ontari is next in line in for the Ice Nation once her mother passes. If Clarke is to mate with Ontari, she will rule Ice Nation alongside her omega mate. Their future pups will also have the birthright of not only Arkadia but also Ice Nation. It will be one of the greatest merges in history. 

But Clarke isn’t stupid. She knows Ontari has similar motivations. Ontari wants a strong mate. Her omega desires the strongest alpha in the land and that alpha is Clarke. On a less primal instinct, Clarke is also a Queen. She is a Queen of one of the richest progressive countries out there. Arkadia has the most knowledge on state of the art medicine. They are forward thinkers with a deep culture. But their military is weak and their populations are low. Arkadia is the richest countries in the realms but it is small. That is why Clarke’s parents made allies with Trikru. Trikru has one of the strongest militaries and is the biggest in regards to land. But they lack technological innovations like Arkadia. It was a perfect merger, but in the end it exploded in their faces.

Now Ontari wishes to become Queen of the richest country and use that money to help Ice Nation. Clarke knows this. She will placate Ontari and help with the buildup of Ice Nation to a degree. If Clarke’s plan goes as she wishes, Ice Nation will be her bloodline’s to rule anyways. It’s a win win. But first things first. Get rid of the current Ice Queen. And Clarke has the perfect plan to do so.

“How is my alpha doing today?” Ontari purrs in Clarke’s ear. Clarke hates being called Ontari's alpha. She's not her alpha. Her wolf only recognizes one omega and that is Lexa. But Lexa is mated and life still goes on so Clarke has to as well.

Clarke has been going to great lengths to ensure that this mating occurs as planned. Ontari prolonged her stay twice at Clarke’s invitation. And finally one week ago, Clarke officially proposed mating. They are currently in the Ice Nation castle so Clarke can meet Nia. Clarke is sure news has spread to all kingdoms near and far. That means Lexa has heard. Lexa, her one and only love.

Clarke misses Lexa with her intake of breath. She sees Lexa everywhere. After the night they shared months ago, her need for Lexa has only grown. As soon as she got back to the castle, she had to lock herself away for a week as she went into immediate rut after making love with her should be omega. But Clarke knows it’s best this way. She will not sabotage Lexa’s mating. She is learning that she needs to think about her country first and foremost just as Lexa does. 

“Well. I am just finishing up some work. Would you care to get some lunch?” Clarke asks politely. Back when they were at the winery two months ago, Clarke told Ontari that she will always love Lexa. Ontari said that it wasn’t a problem. She already knew and she didn’t care. She didn’t need Clarke’s heart but she does wish they would get along. They would make a great political partnership with some added benefits. Clarke agreed to the idea and they slept together that weekend. It was just once and there were no mating marks exchanged. It was enough though. Enough to make Clarke’s alpha cry out for it’s true omega. Her alpha craves Lexa. Her and Ontari haven’t been together intimately since.

“I’d love to.” Ontari responds. “Are you sure about this plan, Clarke?” Ontari whispers in her ear and Clarke knows exactly what plan she is talking about.

“Yes. All you have to do is challenge her tonight at the ball. I will take care of the rest.” Clarke says quietly, to make sure nobody can hear. Her plan to avenge her parents is well on it’s way.

///

Lexa stares out the window of the carriage on her way to Ice Nation with Costia. She doesn’t want to go to the ball announcing Clarke and Ontari’s mating but she knows she has to. It would be seen as wildly rude if Ontari’s own sister and the princess of a country presumed to be allies with Ice Nation did not show up for the celebration. So Lexa is forced to watch from the sidelines as Clarke announces her promise to be with Ontari and only Ontari for the rest of her life.

Her belly isn’t that big so she has been able to hide it. She wishes to hide it for just a little longer. As soon as she lies says it’s Costia and that they are true mates, Clarke will lose all of her hope that they will ever be together. Clarke will officially try her hardest to move on because you cannot break a true mate bond. It is sacred. It is unbreakable. Even if one of the true mates dies, they will never be able to mate again. Whereas, in regular mating bonds, a person can mate again if their partner dies. 

Lexa, dressed in a flowy dress to cover her baby bump, arrives at the ball just in time. Everyone who is anyone is flooding in the castle walls for the party. Lexa takes a deep breath and holds Costia’s hand for support. This is going to be a long two days. The celebration starts with the ball tonight. If Nia approves of the mate proposal, Clarke and Ontari will be mated tomorrow night. Then in the morning, they will leave the castle as mates with fresh marks on their neck. The last shred of Lexa’s beating heart will be torn apart when she see’s that Ice bitch’s fang mark on her Clarke. 

They get into the party and Nia immediately calls them over to her throne.

“Costia, my youngest daughter! Come here with your beautiful omega.” Nia says in that same sickeningly sweet voice that Ontari seems to have inherited from her. Lexa hates this woman. She is the reason for all the pain in her and Clarke’s life. She is the reason Clarke’s parents are dead. She is the reason her and Clarke aren’t mated. She’s the reason she has to lie about whose pup she’s carrying. Lexa hates her but in the name of good politics, she has to pretend she adores her mother in law.

“Queen Nia, lovely to see you again.” Lexa grits out rather convincingly.

“You as well Alexandria.” Nia dismisses them shortly after and they make way to their table.

“Ladies and gentleman, please stand for Queen Clarke of Arkadia and Princess Ontari of Ice Nation.” A guard announces loudly and the whole room stands. Lexa releases a deep sigh when she sees Clarke and Ontari enter the ballroom. Clarke is wearing a stunning tight blue dress that compliments her eyes spectacularly. Her makeup is dark and stunning. Her lips are bare of any stains or tints, her perfectly pink lips showing their natural shade. She looks beautiful. She’s Lexa’s everything. Lexa’s eyes tear away from Clarke and immediately glare at her alpha holding hands with Ontari. It feels like a deep wound in her chest. 

Clarke makes brief eye contact with her before looking away. Lexa can see the pure shock, sadness, and utmost guilt in her blue eyes before she breaks their gaze. Clarke keeps her distance from Lexa most of the night. 

Lexa calmly enters the bathroom midway through the ball, feeling sick. Lexa’s morning sickness does not come in the morning but rather at night. She’s completely surprised when she sees Clarke at one of the sinks, washing her hands. Clarke looks up and right at her. Clearly, she’s surprised to see her former lover as well.

“Hello Lexa.” Clarke warmly smiles and Lexa softly smiles back. But there is pure fear in Lexa’s eyes. Fear that Clarke will figure out she’s pregnant. Fear that she will have to lie to the alpha’s face about whose baby it is. Lexa tries to hide her fears but of course Clarke notices. Clarke has always been good at reading the omega. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?” Clarke says gently, moving to touch Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa shivers at the touch. “Did someone hurt you?” Clarke growls out.

“No I’m..I’m fine Clarke.” Lexa stutters out unconvincingly. Her nausea is making her feel horrible but she doesn’t think it’s bad enough that she has to throw up. Hopefully, the feeling will pass soon.

“You don’t look fine.” Clarke says worriedly. “Hear sit down.” Clarke leads Lexa to the bathroom couch. Yes, the castle’s bathroom has a couch. The restroom is larger and more expensive than the total income of some villages in the poorer sections of Ice Nation. So of course, the restroom just has to have a lovely couch to lounge on.

“I just ate something wrong..that’s all.” Lexa stammers out. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I would think that you’re pregnant.” Clarke teases and Lexa tenses up. She dares to take a look at Clarke whose joking smile turns to a face of pure shock. Lexa is pregnant. And it’s her baby. 

Clarke is sitting there stunned. Lexa is having her child. Clarke’s alpha is so ecstatic. She always imagined a family with Lexa. But why didn’t Lexa tell her? Clarke knows it’s complicated but they would have figured it out. They still can figure it out. Because one thing is for certain, Clarke will never give up her baby. She will be an amazing mother.

“You’re carrying a pup?” Clarke says shakily. Lexa nods and looks away. “M-my pup. You’re carrying my pup?” 

Lexa shuts her eyes tightly and thanks god she isn’t looking at Clarke. Clarke’s voice sounds so hopeful. Clarke sounds more full of life than Lexa has heard her since Clarke was 15 years old. Lexa knows she is about to crush her yet again just like the first time. Clarke moves in close and caresses Lexa’s cheek. Lexa feels the few stray tears falling. Clarke moves in closer, pumping out an explosion of soothing pheromones.

“I’ll take care of you. We will figure it out. I will be here for you and our -” Clarke starts rambling excitedly and Lexa just can’t take it anymore.

“It’s not yours.” Lexa forces the words out. Her voice quiet and vulnerable. She opens her eyes once she hears Clarke stop talking. The smile on her face is wiped right off and it’s replaced with a look of confusion, hurt, and betrayal.

“You’ve been with others?” Clarke frowns, clearly not getting what Lexa is saying. Lexa doesn’t blame her. The plan to say Costia is her true mate is awfully far fetched. True mates act differently than her and Costia act. Their combined scent is different. Clarke wouldn’t be attracted to her scent if Costia is Lexa's true mate. Lexa wouldn’t have slept with Clarke either. She would be head over heels in love with her mate, but she's not. Not to mention, true mates are rare. So except for a select few cases, it should be impossible for Lexa to conceive a child with Costia. Lexa is going to have to spell this out for her.

“No I haven’t.” Lexa shakes her head and shuts her eyes. She can’t see Clarke’s face when she says this. “It’s Costia’s. Costia is my true mate.” Lexa whispers the words like a secret. Immediately after, Clarke growls loud. Loud enough that the whole party probably heard it.

Clarke stands up quickly and starts pacing. Lexa gets up as well and tries to calm the alpha down. Lexa is crying. She knows she’s about to ruin any chance she might ever have with Clarke. Even now, there is a tiny part of her that believes one day her and Clarke will be together. But not after this. This is too far.

“I don’t believe it. That is impossible.” Clarke growls out. “You wouldn’t have slept with me if she was your true mate. I would have smelt it. You’re lying. Why are you lying to me?!” Clarke moves closer and closer to Lexa until Lexa is backed into a nearby wall. Lexa isn’t scared of Clarke though. She knows Clarke will never hurt her.

“I’m not.” Lexa croaks out. “I...I - This is her pup. Not yours. I’m so sorry Clarke.”

Clarke presses her forehead against Lexa and the omega sucks in a shaky breath followed by a hiccup from all the crying.

“I know that baby is mine.” Clarke gently puts her hand on the small bump and Lexa melts. Her heart is breaking. The omega is so close to telling her truth. “I know you’re lying. You’re scared. It’s okay. I’ll be strong for us. For our little one.” Clarke nudges her nose against Lexa’s cheek and purrs. Lexa breathes in her alpha’s scent. “Just tell me that the pup is mine. Tell me the truth and I promise you, we will find a way.”

Lexa falters and kisses Clarke. Clarke deepens the kiss, her hands flying to cradle Lexa’s face. This kiss is much more softer than the kisses they shared when they had sex together for the first time. Clarke sucks on Lexa’s bottom lip and it makes Lexa go weak in the knees. Lexa revels in the touch until she remembers what her father had told her. This will ruin them all. She knows exactly what her father will do. He will accuse Clarke of forcing herself on Lexa. Gustus is a man of self preservation. He will do whatever it takes to protect his legacy and his country. And Clarke will become the scapegoat. They will kill Clarke. It is law in all lands that you cannot force yourself on an omega. They will literally rip Clarke to shreds. There will be no place to hide. Lexa has to be strong. And she has to lie like she never has before.

Lexa lightly pushes at Clarke's chest and the alpha immediately backs away respectfully, her head hanging low in rejection. “Clarke please listen to me. This pup is _not_ yours. I’m with Costia.”

“But -” Clarke tries but Lexa cuts her off.

“No. Listen to me. This is her child, not yours. I have never lied to you, why would I start now?” Lexa says firmly. Clarke’s eyes are deeply saddened. Lexa is lying. The child is of course Clarke’s. But she can’t tell Clarke that. There’s too much at stake.

“But Lexa this makes no sense. When we made love, you said you loved me. How can you be true mates with one person and love another? It doesn’t make sense.” Clarke’s voice is broken.

“Because I do love you. But the pull of a true mate is primal. It’s just too strong to fight. No matter what happens in their lives, true mates are constantly pulled back to each other no matter how much they fight it. And that’s what Costia is to me. I am so sorry. I will always love you but you were right to say we shouldn’t dwell on what should have been.” Lexa’s voice is raw from all the crying. Clarke just nods solemnly like a lost puppy.

“Are you sure? Is there no chance it could be mine?” Clarke asks one more time. And it breaks Lexa’s heart.

“I am sure.” Lexa wipes away Clarke’s tears with the pad of her thumb. Clarke pulls Lexa in close and kisses her forehead for a long moment. 

“Then I wish you and your true mate well, Alexandria Woods. May your pup be as brave and compassionate as its mother.” Clarke whispers out the words and then walks out the door, dejected and broken. When Lexa hears the door close, she breaks down on the floor in tears. Clarke is really gone forever now. There’s no chance of a maybe someday. It’s over.

///

Clarke hurries back to the ballroom, her mind a mess. This is not the mindset she is suppose to be in when her plan against Nia is enacted. Ontari spots her enter the ballroom and signals for her to come over to officially met Nia.

“Mother, this is Queen Clarke of Arkadia. Clarke, this is my mother, Queen Nia of Ice Nation.” Ontari says formally. Ontari hates her mother. She hates what she has done to their formerly peaceful prosperous country. All Ice Nation is now is a land of soldiers ready to wage war at Nia’s flippant hand. Nia forces every able alpha and viable beta to be in her military. The country has become enslaved to a dictator. Nia is as horrible as a mother as she is a ruler as well. So when Clarke told her of her plan, Ontari could not refuse.

“Well well well, Queen Clarke. I was surprised to hear of your mating proposal to my daughter. Especially after your ill informed claims that I was behind your parent’s horrible horrible demise.” Nia baits Clarke but the alpha doesn’t bite. She just grits her teeth and smiles.

“Well your daughter and you are not the same person.” Clarke says it like a jab. “I would appreciate if we could have your blessing. I don’t have to remind you how good this union will be for Ice Nation. Your Princess will be mated to the Queen of Arkadia. Trade routes that have been closed since you became Queen could suddenly open up if you would be so kind as to allow me to mate with your daughter.” Nia’s eyes light up at the subtle offer. When Jake realized that Nia was plotting to attack his lands, he cut off all trade routes in Arkadia. His ally, King Gustus of Trikru, followed the same idea. Ice Nation lost much from losing those trade routes.

“Very well. How about I announce this little mating now shall we?” Nia stands up with a smirk on her face. As soon as that little Queen of Arkadia opens up the trade routes again, Nia plans to smuggle weapons from the advanced testing grounds of Arkadia. Her soldiers will mimic them and then they will use the trade routes to force their way in and attack. Once they take over Arkadia, they will take over Trikru. All Nia craves is power. 

“Thank you everyone for coming to this ball in honor of my first born Ontari and Queen of Arkadia, the strong alpha Clarke Griffin.” Nia’s voice booms out and everyone grows silent for fear of what will happen to them if they aren’t. “I would like to announce that it is my honor to give my blessing to their mating.” Nia says with a smirk and the whole room claps. Clarke is still shaken from learning about Lexa and Costia being true mates and soon to be parents. But she needs to focus right now. This is a case of life or death. Ontari looks over to Clarke and Clarke smiles encouragingly.

“Mother, may I say a few words?” Ontari asks and she can tell it annoys Nia to be interrupted. But she doesn’t care. Clarke has a plan to rid Nia for good and it needs to be acted out in a crowd with witnesses.

“Of course.” Nia forces a smile Ontari’s way. Everyone looks at the omega in confusion and pure shock that she had the audacity to speak out of turn.

“As many of you know, I am next in line for the throne.” Ontari’s voice is strong and resolute. “I have grown up in a nation terrorized by a tyrant. She has tortured and killed her own people for personal gain. I have seen reports of it with my own eyes. She has sent your alphas and betas off to war for her own selfish reasons. She has -”

“ENOUGH.” Nia growls out, moving to strike Ontari just as Clarke expected. Clarke instantly moves to protect Ontari. Clarke growls are much louder and fiercer than Queen Nia’s. The whole room is filled with gasps.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Nia growls out, careful not to further provoke Clarke. Everyone knows she is the strongest alpha born in the past few generations.

“I challenge you Queen Nia to a battle of no confidence.” Ontari draws out her words, loud enough so everyone in the room can hear. The whole room is stunned into silence. You can smell the fear mixing in their scents. Clarke looks over to Lexa. Lexa’s eyes are crazed and frantic. Lexa is terrified. She’s petrified that Clarke is going to die because of her soon to be mate's foolish challenges. If only Lexa knew that this has been Clarke’s plan all along.

Nia’s eyes grow cold and knowing. This has been Clarke’s plan all along. It’s why she wants to mate with her daughter. It’s a great plan too. A battle of no confidence can only be challenged by a member of the Royal’s direct bloodline. Only Ontari or her siblings could challenge Nia. It is a bold move. And if they lose, the challengers are sentenced to death as are the co-conspirators. Nobody can turn down a battle of no confidence. If Nia tries to, everyone will turn on her in a matter of hours. 

“I accept.” Nia growls out. “Who will your champion be?” As soon as Nia says the words, Lexa sees Clarke straighten her posture.

“No..God no…” Lexa mumbles out in silent prayer that Ontari doesn’t choose Clarke to be her champion.

“My future mate, Queen Clarke Griffin of Arkadia.” Ontari says proudly and the whole room gasps audibly. Lexa’s heart sinks as she tightly grips onto Costia’s hand for support. Lexa is starting to realize that this must have been Clarke’s plan all along. They even waited until after they received Queen Nia’s blessing for their mating. This way, once the Queen is dead there will be no one who will protest the validity of their mating. It’s absolutely brilliant. Except a battle of no confidence is dangerous. Someone is to die tonight. Lexa can only pray it’s not Clarke.

“Very well. The guards will prepare the battleground. And then..it’s a fight to the death.” Nia growls out. Clarke growls back, snapping her teeth at the alpha. Nia is ruthless. Clarke might be the stronger alpha, but Nia has years and years more of experience. It’s not clear cut who will come out alive.

Clarke storms out of the ballroom with Ontari by her side. She needs to get changed and choose her sword. Lexa tries to escape to see her but Costia tightly holds onto her.

“It’s too dangerous Lexa.” Costia says. “I don’t want you roaming these halls alone. My mother is a wildcard right now. You don’t know what she would do if she saw you. You are Clarke’s great strength..but you are also her greatest weakness. She will use you to distract Clarke. Clarke has to be at her best right now. We also can’t risk her finding out about the pup right now. She needs a clear head.” Costia says trying to convince her, but it doesn’t help. Little does Costia know, Clarke already knows about the baby. And it is indeed distracting her. Lexa runs off from Costia to find Clarke. Costia loses her in the crowd of nobles heading outside to the battleground.

“Clarke.” Lexa breathes out as she bursts through the doors of Clarke’s guest bedroom. Ontari is sitting on the bed as Clarke straps her sword belt to her waist. Clarke turns around and takes in the sight of a wild worrisome Lexa. The alpha looks over to Ontari apologetically and she huffs.

“Ten minutes. But after that, you have to get outside and prep for battle.” Ontari states, clearly annoyed by Lexa's presence. She knows that Clarke will never love her. She doesn’t need love. She doesn’t need even Clarke to be faithful. That isn’t the kind of marriage they agreed on. They agreed on a political partnership. Yes, they may still mate from time to time but it isn’t a relationship. Lexa though can mess it all up. Ontari isn’t an idiot she can tell Lexa is carrying Clarke’s child. She heard Clarke’s growls from the bathroom before. Hell, everyone did. She went to check on her and overheard everything. Ontari actually chuckled out loud. Clarke is so naive to actually believe Lexa and Costia are true mates. But she’s not complaining. Because if Clarke finds out the truth, it will ruin all of their plans. Ontari can’t let that happen. Once the pup is born she will have to keep Clarke far away from Lexa. Clarke will be able to tell that it’s her child from one sniff.

The door closes and Lexa rushes into Clarke’s embrace.

“Please don’t do this.” Lexa mumbles, her voice coming out muffled as her face burrows deep in Clarke’s hair. “There’s something I need to tell you-” Lexa is about to blurt out the truth but Clarke cuts her off. 

“Lexa.” Clarke breathes in her scent and pulls the girl in closer. “Can we just pretend for a minute that you’re mine and I’m yours? Can we be weak just once more?” Clarke asks softly. This very well might be her last moments with Lexa. She doesn’t want to spend them helplessly pining or fighting.

“Absolutely.” Lexa pulls Clarke’s face close to hers and kisses the blonde with everything she has. Clarke moans into the kiss and wraps her arms around the omega. She lightly moves Lexa backwards until Lexa is pressed up against the one of the doors. Clarke’s tongue probes Lexa’s mouth and Lexa whimpers. Clarke breaks the kiss and kisses down Lexa’s jaw line. Lexa tilts her neck and Clarke sucks hard on the skin available to her, leaving a huge red mark. Whatever the outcome of the battle is, Clarke knows that this is the last time she will be able to do this to Lexa. Clarke lightly nibbles and licks Lexa’s skin. She kisses back up to Lexa’s plump lips and they heatedly pour every ‘I love you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ in them. A loud knock from Ontari startles them out of their reverie. 

Lexa’s mouth is swollen from all the kisses. Clarke nuzzles into Lexa’s neck once more and places a kiss there.

“Thank you for letting me be selfish once more. I’ll love you till the end of my days...which very well might be a short promise.” Clarke lightly teases but Lexa doesn’t laugh.

“That’s not funny Clarke.” Lexa weakly says, her face showing the deepest sadness and worry. “Y-you could..you could -” Lexa starts getting emotional so Clarke kisses her into silence.

“I’m not going anywhere. I am the strongest alpha around aren’t I?” Clarke smiles. She’s scared but she’s not going to admit that to her frightened omega. Lexa will always be her omega. Lexa might be true mates with Costia, but that doesn’t stop Clarke’s feelings. Clarke will always love her. 

“You know Lexa, I might not be your alpha but you are my omega. You will always be my love even if I’m not yours.” Clarke says and before Lexa can argue back and tell her that she is. Before she can say anything in response, the other door right next to them swings open revealing Ontari. Ontari just rolls her eyes at the entangled omega and alpha.

“Alright come on. Playtime is over. They’re calling you Clarke. It’s time.” Ontari says seriously and Clarke nods. Lexa’s grip on her gets a little tighter. 

“I have to go Lex.” Clarke mumbles as Lexa pulls her closer.

“You need to stay alive Clarke. Stay alive for me. You _are_ my alpha.” Lexa says and she knows it’s unfair. She will never be Clarke’s. Clarke will never be her alpha. Not officially anyways. Lexa keeps going back and forth on her word. She knows it's wrong but she’s weak for Clarke. It’s like there is this pull she can’t describe that always brings her back to Clarke.

Clarke’s eyes light up at Lexa’s words but soften suddenly in understanding. “Thanks for saying it.” Clarke whispers in her ear before kissing her cheek longingly and walking away. Lexa realizes Clarke doesn’t believe her. And after everything Lexa has said while trying to protect Clarke and her people, how could she?

Clarke gets on the battleground and the whole crowd goes silent. Nia and Clarke stare at one another and growl. The announcer raises a flag and screams out. “You may begin!”

Clarke waits for Nia to come to her. Nia attacks hard and fast, her sword swinging too close to Clarke’s abdomen. Clarke thinly dodges the attack. She knees Nia in the stomach and blocks the Ice nation alpha’s sword swipe again. The crowd erupts in cheers. Nia stumbles a little and Clarke moves in to strike. Nia anticipates this and pushes out her sword unexpectedly. Clarke jumps out of the way, but she is lightly nicked on her side. The crowd gasps as some blood pours out of the wound.

Lexa whines and her omega cries out for her alpha. Clarke frantically looks in the crowd when she smells her omega’s distress. That one moment of distraction could be deadly. Nia swings her sword at Clarke’s head but Clarke’s reflexes are too fast. She drops to the floor and uses her sword to block Nia’s next attack. Clarke pushes all her strength upward with her weapon and Nia stumbles a little. Clarke expertly swings at Nia in a fast succession, multiple times. Nia blocks every single one. She hits Clarke’s sword so hard it falls from her hands. Nia kicks Clarke painfully in the chest and the alpha flies a few feet. Clarke coughs harshly as she stumbles to get back up. Her head is in searing pain. She hit it pretty hard on the fall. Her chest is on fire. 

Lexa holds her breath. Clarke is going to die. She’s going to die thinking Lexa isn’t in love with her. She’s going to die thinking someone else is Lexa's true mate. She’s going to die without knowing the truth about their pup. Lexa clutches onto Costia like a life raft.

Nia goes in for the final jab at Clarke’s face when Clarke quickly moves and jumps up. Clarke punches Nia in the face and kicks her in the gut. Nia, while grabbing at her bloody nose, weakly swings at Clarke. Clarke jumps out of the way easily. Nia spits of some blood and swings at a weaponless Clarke again, only with more strength behind it. Clarke pumps out the strongest pheromones she can muster up. The whole crowd whines and most fall to the floor begging for relief. Nia wobbles on her feet and is one of the only alphas still standing, but barely. Her neck is tilted in submission and Clarke growls at her, knowing she has won now. The sword falls from Nia’s weak hands. Clarke punches Nia in the throat and the alpha falls to the floor, choking and coughing. Clarke takes Nia’s sword and looks down at the struggling alpha.

“For my parents.” Clarke says loud enough for a large portion of the crowd to hear. The alpha pushes the blade into Nia’s heart and watches as the light leaves the Ice Queen’s eyes. Clarke takes no joy in killing. Everytime she does it, she feels a little more empty and it’s a hole only one person can fill. 

“The Queen is dead. Long live the new Queen.” Clarke calls out firmly and the whole crowd roars into a cheer. Clarke starts to see spots in her vision. Her body is failing her. She’s never forced that many people into submission using her pheromones. In fact, that has never been done before. Not to mention the open wound she has and the probable concussion. It’s all clearly taking a toll on her body. Clarke falls to the floor and everyone gasps. Moments later, she starts blacking out. Her last image is of a frantic Lexa holding her face in her hands, calling out her name. Then it all goes dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Lexa is very confusing. One second she's all like 'we have to stay away from each other' and then the next she's like 'i love you, i need you' to Clarke. That's because she doesn't want to be away from Clarke. She loves Clarke and in this fic, it's very hard for Lexa to push Clarke away like she knows she has to. She has moments of weakness. And so does Clarke. They both are like magnets to each other and they just can't stop it.
> 
> Mating marks and true mates will be explained further in the chapters ahead. Just to be clear in case anyone was confused, Lexa is pregnant with Clarke's child, not Costia's. She was lying to try and protect Clarke. Some may think Lexa should have told the truth, but she's worried about the backlash. Imagine if a Queen from the olden days said she was pregnant with a baby that wasn't the Kings. There would be madness. Maybe it seems dramatic but in this fic, it's a completely reasonable assumption that this might happen. 
> 
> There's a lot of angst but it will end with a happy ending I promise.
> 
> I feel like I might get some criticism from this chapter so I just figured I would explain a few things ahead of time. Let me know what you think in the comments section.
> 
> If you have any questions you'd like to ask me about this fic or any other of my works, ask away on my tumblr. http://clexainparadise.tumblr.com/


	3. Mates with Others

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens in this one. Matings, flashbacks, deaths, births! This chapter has it all.
> 
> Trigger Warning: Minor Character Death, Violence, a whole lotta angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes.

Clarke wakes up in a bed with Lexa by her side. Lexa is humming softly to her, caressing her cheek. Clarke doesn’t open her eyes right away, melting into the affection. When the blonde does finally open her eyes, it’s with a groan. Lexa immediately jumps into action, calling the doctor in. Lexa’s doctor Nyko, who came along to the ball in case Lexa needed him, eyes the two of them suspiciously but he will never say a word. The Royals have come to him for years with medical things that would destroy them if it ever came out. This is just another one of those times he supposes. 

Clarke is blinking rapidly and looking around. Lexa is cuddling up next to her. Clarke instinctively pulls her closer, wrapping her arms around her swollen belly. She growls at the intruder.

“Clarke, it’s okay. Nyko is here to help you.” Lexa gently says and Clarke reluctantly nods and sits up. Her head is still spinning and she feels woozy. 

“Clarke, it seems you have a minor head injury. We stitched up the wound on your side. You can leave in two days time after some rest.”

“I can’t wait two days.” Clarke grumbles out. “I - I have to..” Clarke looks at Lexa sadly and Lexa furrows her brow in confusion. What is Clarke so anxious about? What can’t wait two days? “My mating ceremony with Ontari must go on as planned.”

Lexa’s heart cracks. Of course. Clarke is still mating with Ontari. This is all a part of some greater plan she has.

“Mating is heavily physical. Your stitches could rip. I wouldn’t recommend it.” Nyko says.

“I’ll take it under consideration. And truly, thank you for all the help.” Clarke says politely. Nyko nods and leaves the room. She has to mate with Ontari and soon. It’s the only way to solidify their partnership.

“I’m sure Ontari would understand if you had to push back the mating ceremony.” Lexa pushes back Clarke’s hair and encourages the blonde lay back in her arms. Clarke does so. She even purrs a little.

“It’s not Ontari that wouldn’t understand. Lexa, there are politics at play here. The sooner we mate, the sooner our kingdoms are solidified. And that means nobody will strike against us. Right now, Ontari hasn’t risen to power officially yet. Ice Nation is weakened. We cannot wait.” Clarke says and Lexa nods. The omega knows this has to happen but she wishes it didn’t have to be this way. She knows her wishes are going on deaf ears though. 

“I don’t even know why I’m talking to you about this.” Clarke mumbles sadly.

“I will always be here for you Clarke. You can talk to me about anything.” Lexa whispers into Clarke’s hair. “Sleep now.” Lexa murmurs. Clarke tries to resist the pull of sleep but Lexa’s tender whispers lull her into a much needed rest.

Clarke wakes up much later to a snoring Lexa huddled into her side. Clarke smiles and leans forward to kiss the tip of Lexa’s cute little nose. Reluctantly, Clarke pulls out of Lexa’s embrace and gets up to get dressed to face the Ice Nation court. Ontari is most likely dealing with all the council members and needs Clarke by her side in a show of support. Having a Queen by her side will to do wonders for a quick and easy ascension. 

Lexa, still asleep, whines at the loss of her alpha’s warmth. Her arms flail a bit in search of Clarke, settling on the pillow Clarke was just laying her head on. Lexa still has a frown on her face but seems to have calmed down. She starts snoring again, her mouth slightly parted. Clarke chuckles and kisses her jaw. Lexa is so beautiful. She doesn’t understand why she’s here with her in this moment. She is carrying Costia’s baby. Where does Costia even think she is right now? Clarke shakes her head. She can’t worry about this now. For now, she must focus on her actual to be mate. She has to focus on securing the safety of her people.

Clarke enters the throne room and is met with great applause. Everyone, and I mean everyone, kneels in her honor. Queen Nia was wildly unpopular and Queen Clarke has now slayed her. She is gone, no longer able to terrorize these lands. 

“Queen Clarke.” Prince Roan kneels down in front of Clarke. Clarke smiles politely and greets him. Prince Roan is second in line for the thrown behind Ontari. He is a good beta. He is also on the council.

“Thank you for fighting in the good name of your mate, our family. We welcome you to the family.” Roan says appreciatively.

“Thank you Roan. It’s an honor.” Clarke replies, helping Roan up from the kneeling position.

“We have convened the council to discuss Ontari’s ascension to Queen and your mating. We agree that it is best if you two mate as soon as possible. Preferably tonight. And then tomorrow morning, we can begin preparations for the crowning ceremony, naming Ontari Queen and you Queen consort.” Roan says as they approach the council. 

“Queen Clarke, I’d like you to officially meet our council. Duchess Echo Azgeda, my sister Princess Costia Winters, Duke Charles Pike, Noble Hannah Green, and her son Monty Green.”

Clarke smiles at all of them, even Costia. She observes them all and notices the hostility in Pike and Hannah’s eyes. 

“So it is official you and Ontari are to mate tonight. The ceremony may begin in an hour. I will have the servants prepare her old bedchambers.” Prince Roan says officially and the council disperses. Clarke approaches Ontari and kisses her on the cheek, all for show. Charles Pike and Hannah Green are watching them intently from the corner of her eye. Clarke pulls Ontari in close and whispers in her ear. To anyone else, it would look like a lover’s embrace. But in reality, Clarke is quietly telling her of her suspicions of Pike and Green. 

Lexa wakes up a few minutes after Clarke leaves. Sleepily, she rubs her eyes and trudges out of the bed. She’s not upset Clarke left the bed while she was still sleeping. She knows how eager Clarke is to mate with Ontari. It pains her deeply that Clarke is to officially be Ontari’s mate now. But there is nothing else that can be done. 

Lexa yawns and stretches out her tired limbs. She waddles into the throne room just in time to see Clarke pull Ontari in close. The public display of affection makes her blood boil and her heart ache. Lexa hurries off before Clarke can see her. She flees to her room and decides to hide their until the mating ceremony begins. Lexa knows she needs to gather the courage to stand proud when her love mates to another later tonight. Lexa softly caresses her stomach and whispers her love to her and Clarke’s pup still growing within her.

///

The ceremony begins. The wide doors to the throne room open and Clarke and Ontari enter, hand in hand. Lexa tries to block it all out. The vows are exchanged and it’s sealed with a kiss between _her_ alpha and Ontari. It’s all a blur. Lexa stares at the ground throughout the whole ceremony, desperate to keep the tears at bay. The love of her life is in the process of getting a mate, a mate who isn’t her. They really have no chance now. Jealousy and sorrow boils through Lexa’s veins.

She refuses to look up as Clarke and Ontari leave to go mate. She refuses to make eye contact with her love. She refuses to show how heartbroken she is right now. Because if she does, she thinks she just might collapse. It’s all really over now.

///

Clarke buttons up her top and throws on some sleep shorts and her royal robe. Ontari is asleep now, tired out from the mating ceremony. Clarke is restless though. She can’t sleep. She can’t stop thinking of Lexa. But Lexa isn’t her life anymore. Ontari is. Her kingdom is. 

She’s glad Ontari understands that she will never love her..or at least not in the same way she loves Lexa. Clarke _is in_ love with Lexa. But maybe years down the line, she can care for Ontari too. Ontari is ruthless in politics but she’s not a bad person. She confided in Clarke that she chose Clarke because she knew the blonde alpha was strong enough to end her mother’s reign. Ontari wants a better tomorrow for Azgeda, a tomorrow where her people aren’t oppressed and slaughtered by their own ruler. Villages starved day in and day out while her mother was well fed living a selfish power hungry life in the walls of the castle. Ontari doesn’t want that for her country and her people anymore. 

Clarke respects Ontari deeply. She knows the omega seems mean, maybe even cruel to those who don’t know her. But Ontari is just a woman who knows what she wants. She’s ambitious and aggressive in her tactic, but nobody can say she’s not effective. 

Clarke decides to go outside to the Ice Nation garden. She needs some fresh air from the pheromone heavy bedroom where she just mated with an omega that isn’t who her heart and wolf craves.

Clarke walks through the rose garden, bending over to smell the flowers. She hears footsteps and immediately turns around. It’s Lexa. They’re both clearly surprised to see each other. 

Lexa looks purely shocked then just sad. Lexa stares at Clarke’s bitten neck with such pain in her eyes. She shakes her head and looks away quickly once Clarke uncomfortably clears her throat.

“What are you doing here?” Clarke asks softly, careful not to get any closer to the omega that still smells too good for someone with a true mate. 

“Couldn’t sleep..” Lexa croaks out, her voice cracks. She’s clearly very upset. The alpha nods. Clarke wishes she wasn’t the reason behind Lexa’s pain, but she knows she is.

“Shouldn’t you be with your mate?” Lexa asks just above a whisper. It pains Lexa immensely to ask Clarke about her mate. Lexa doesn’t say the words with any malice or bitterness behind them, just pure sorrow and grief. 

Lexa’s nose scrunches up in disgust. She can still smell Ontari’s scent all over Clarke. Lexa swallows hard. She heard rumours that Clarke and Ontari slept together before this moment, but smelling it and seeing the mating marks on her former lover’s neck is just too much for her.

“Couldn’t sleep..” Clarke’s voice is quiet just like Lexa’s. There’s a beat of silence between them, neither quite sure what to do or say.

“Remember when we used to play together as children in the rose garden just like this one in Arkadia?” Clarke says with a sad smile on her face. Lexa mimics Clarke’s facial expressions with a sad smile of her own.

“You had the best hiding place. I never knew where you would go.” Lexa says gently. “I still don’t.”

“The big white oak tree.” Clarke chuckles as Lexa’s face frowns in confusion.

“You hid in the tree?!” Lexa stutters out. “How did you climb that fast? I only counted to 30 seconds.” Lexa asks baffled. Clarke just chuckles more at how surprised Lexa looks.

“I’m a fast climber.” Clarke smirks.

“That tree is a good 80 feet.” Lexa shakes her head, refusing to believe it as a possibility.

“Well I didn’t climb all the way up. Only until I was hidden by the branches and leaves.” Clarke said smiling. “You used to always fall asleep after lunch under that tree. And I would just sit there and stare at how beautiful you are. I have so many sketches from back then. Some are even stick figures. I always knew you were special. I still do.”

The air changes between them. It’s heavy. Both look sad again, their presents catching up with their memories of the past. 

Lexa’s eyes finally fly to Clarke’s. “Clarke…” The omega sucks in a deep breath at the admission from Clarke. Her heart aches for those innocent days again.

Clarke smiles sadly and sighs. Clarke knows she shouldn’t be reminiscing with her love in the moonlight when their mates are fast asleep inside. It’s not fair to any of them.

“I should get back.” Clarke rasps out and Lexa nods, looking away again. It’s too hard to look at Clarke right now, knowing that she just was in bed with another. Clarke moves past Lexa and walks inside the castle again. Lexa walks a little more until she reaches a tree and sits under it. It’s not the oak tree that her and Clarke used to play under. This isn’t Arkadia. It’s Ice Nation. It’s colder and the tree looks sort of like a pine tree with a long trunk. But if she closes her eyes, Lexa can pretend she’s back in Arkadia, back with her Clarke all those years ago.

///

_12 Years Ago_

_Clarke is 7 and Lexa is 9. Clarke is missing her two front teeth right now so she has a bit of a lisp. Her and Lexa’s parent just sat them down to explain that one day they will be getting married to each other. The girls are ecstatic. They love one another. They’re best friends._

_Lexa and Clarke run outside to go play in the garden like they always do. They end up under the tree after lots of giggles and rounds of tag._

_“You’re gonnas be my wife, Lexi!” Clarke exclaims excitedly and proudly. Lexa giggles and her cheeks turn beet red.  
“I know.” Lexa says with a soft smile on her face. Lexa is a very quiet child. She doesn’t smile or laugh much...unless she’s with Clarke that is. Clarke brings out a side of her that Lexa never lets anyone else see._

_“We shoulds practices.” Clarke says with a wide smile on her face._

_“How do we practice?” Lexa asks curiously._

_“We coulds have a play wedding!” Clarke says chirpily, getting more and more excited at the idea._

_“Really?” Lexa asks with wide excited eyes. “You wanna play marry me now?”_

_“Of course, you’res my Lexa and I’m your Clarke.” Clarke says happily._

_“Okay I’ll play marry you.” Lexa says seriously, butterflies going crazy in her stomach._

_The girls run into the house holding hands, giggling and laughing. Even the most cold hearted of nobles look at them with a soft twinkle in their eyes, probably envious of the pure happiness and love on the girls’ faces._

_“Mammy! Daddy! I’ms gonnas marry Lexa!” Clarke proclaims proudly, still holding Lexa’s hand. Lexa has a shy smile on her face, but her eyes show that she’s just as excited as Clarke. Abby, Jake, Gustus, and Indra chuckle._

_“Of course you are sweetie. How about you wait a few years though yeah?” Jake says sweetly._

_“No Daddy! We wannas play marry today. Pleeeeeease!” Clarke says with a smile on her face, her smile wide with two front teeth missing._

_“And what do you say Lexa?” Jake bends down and ruffles Lexa’s hair. Lexa giggles. King Jake is so funny._

_“I’d like to play marry Clarke.” Lexa says softly. Jake winks at the other parents and dramatically goes to sit in his throne._

_“Alright then. As King of Arkadia, I decree a play wedding will be happening today.” Jake says in a formal tone and the two girls go giddy with excitement. Clarke drags around a giggling Lexa with her as she runs around with her nanny Callie, picking out flowers from the garden and baking cupcakes. Two hours later, Clarke and Lexa are under the tree they love so much giggling as Jake says some funny sounding vows._

_“Will you take my Clarkey to be your best friend and play wife?” Jake says with a smile on his face. His daughter and Lexa are too adorable. He’s glad they love each other so much. Jake would never force Clarke into a marriage she doesn’t want, but she loves Lexa and they’re still mere children. One day, they will make great mates and amazing leaders, he just knows it._

_“I will! I promise.” Lexa nods very seriously, reaching out to hold Clarke’s hand._

_“And Clarke, will you take Lexa to be your best friend and play wife?” Jake says and Clarke smiles so wide._

_“Of course I do Daddy.” Clarke chuckles as if her Daddy has just asked a crazy question. Of course Lexa is her best friend and play wife! Who else would be? In Clarke’s eyes, there’s only Lexa._

_“Well then from the power invested in me as king of the lands, I now pronounce you to be play wife and play wife. You may now hug.” Jake says and the rest of the parents clap their hands and hoot out loud._

_Lexa and Clarke hug tightly. When Clarke pulls away, she places a big wet kiss on Lexa’s cheek. The parents all ‘awwww’ and Lexa turns beet red, her eyes wide._

_Lexa and Clarke always play games like this. Play teachers, play house, play marry. But this is their one and only play wedding. It’s suppose to be a cute little game, little kids still innocent and wide eyed. But now it seems like this is the only ‘wedding’ Clarke and Lexa together will see. Only time will tell if everything is as it seems._

///

The next morning Clarke and Ontari prepare for the greeting ceremony. The greeting ceremony is when all the nobles of the land come to greet and congratulate the newly mated couple. Ontari walks out of the shower in just a towel, humming along to some tune Clarke doesn’t recognize.

“After the ceremony, we should meet with the council again. You’re right, there is something off about Pike and Hannah. I want to get crowned immediately so we can kick them off the council and replace them with you and Kane.” Ontari says offhandedly as she starts to get dressed. 

Clarke turns around surprised at the comment. 

“Me and Kane? Ontari, that’s two Arkadians on an Azgeda council. Are you sure people will support your decision?” Clarke asks warily.

“They will respect us because we are to be their Queens. If this merger between Arkadia and Azgeda is to work, we will need to act on the promise. First, we should be implement Arkadian leaders into the Azgeda government and vice versa.” Ontari walks up to Clarke and turns around, her dress unzipped in the back. “Can you zip me up?” Ontari asks and Clarke nods.

“I hope this works.” Clarke mumbles.

“Oh stop being so broody.” Ontari chuckles. “Sometimes good things happen, Clarke. The world isn’t always out to get you.” Ontari kisses her cheek and walks away. Oh if only she were right.

///

The ceremony begins and it is formal and rather boring. People are approaching the couple left and right, wishing them the best in their mating. Ontari and Clarke eventually get separated on opposite ends of the ballroom. Ontari is chatting with Pike. Clarke feels wildly uneasy for some reason and starts to make her way over to her mate. A second later, Pike pulls out a blade. Ontari’s eyes widen in recognition. It feels like everything is going in slow motion, but in reality it all happens much too fast.

Clarke roars loud and the crowd immediately gasps and parts like the red sea. Pike turns around to see Clarke charging at him. She tackles him to the ground and not a moment later, her sword is pulled. The alpha in her takes over. She may not love Ontari but she is still her mate and nobody, I mean _nobody_ , will harm her. Clarke’s sword stabs Pike right in his chest.

A gasps is heard from her right and Clarke looks up to see a sword in another person’s chest. But this time, it is Ontari. Her new mate. The raven haired omega falls to the floor, sword still in her chest. The crowd screams and starts running in all directions. Clarke’s wolf cries. It is much too painful a fate to have a mate die on you. Immediately, your mating mark dissolves. The whole sensation is wildly painful. For a moment, Clarke is paralyzed in pain. Her wolf whimpers and growls. 

Hannah approaches her in her vulnerable state and pulls out a knife, pressing the cool blade against her neck. 

Lexa is across the ballroom when she sees the blade touch Clarke’s neck. She cries out and tries to run towards her alpha. Costia holds her back, but Lexa fights her hold. Clarke can’t die. If Clarke dies, she has nothing left. Their child will never met their sire. Clarke will die thinking Lexa was happy and in love with Costia. She will die and Lexa will have nothing but memories and regrets of what should have been.

That’s when Clarke smells the distressed pheromones of Lexa and it jolts her into action. Her whole body is in searing pain from just losing her mate, but she perseveres. The rest is a blur to Clarke. She knows she kills Hannah next, then the noble accomplices surrounding her. A moment or two later, she’s in a pool of others blood. The alpha ripped out the throats of all those who killed her mate and all the nobles who were in on it. 

“Clarke..please. Clarke, look at me! Are you hurt?! Clarke!” Lexa runs to her alpha. She saw the whole bloody violent battle go down. She never had seen Clarke kill before. Now she understands just how much Clarke has gone through in her absence. She briefly wonders how Clarke will get through yet another tragedy. 

Clarke is covered in blood, whimpering on the floor. She’s staring at her mate, unresponsive. Clarke might not have loved Ontari but losing a mate, no matter the circumstance, is physically intense and emotionally jarring.

“Please Clarke, look at me!” Lexa cries out, kneeling next to her alpha. She cups Clarke’s cheeks and Clarke moves her gaze to meet Lexa’s. Clarke slowly blinks. Her lip juts out, trembling. There are tears in her eyes but they aren’t falling. Lexa pulls the alpha close and hugs her, pumping out soothing pheromones. Clarke’s whimpering doesn’t stop but her tense body relaxes slightly. 

Prince Roan and Costia are at Ontari’s side, crying. None of them were particularly close growing up but it’s still their sister. Clarke is limp in Lexa’s arms, too broken and tired to even wrap her arms around the blonde. Lexa rocks back and forth with her alpha in her arms. She doesn’t see anyone else in that moment. Only Clarke.

///

There is chaos and confusion following Ontari’s assassination and Clarke’s mass killing of everyone who took part in the murder of her mate. Nobles are scurrying around. Prince Roan, Costia, and the rest of the council go into an emergency meeting. Lexa slowly gets Clarke to get up off the floor. Lexa guides Clarke to her guest bedroom, so Clarke can avoid the smell of Ontari in their bedroom. 

She sits Clarke down on the toilet in the bathroom. Clarke looks at the ground, her eyes empty. Losing a mate..it really breaks an alpha’s spirit for some time. It’s one thing to undo a mating bond, but for a mate to die. That’s very hard to move past, even if you didn’t love the mate. 

Lexa kneels in front of Clarke.

“Clarke, I’m going to take off your clothes okay?” Lexa gently says. Clarke is covered in blood from those she just killed. “Clarke, I need your permission.”

Clarke quietly nods, her eyes unmoving. Lexa unzips Clarke’s dress and helps the traumatized alpha out of her dress. Lexa briefly wonders if this is how Clarke acted after her parents death. Lexa doesn’t know how Clarke is going to get through this.

Clarke is in her bra and underwear. Lexa leads her to the shower and they step in together. Lexa is still in her dress but she doesn’t care. Clarke stands there frozen. She’s really starting to scare Lexa. But Lexa knows how mates are after they lose their mates. Her aunt lost her mate once. Her aunt refused to leave her room for a whole two weeks. Her aunt was inconsolable. She didn’t even fancy her mate either. 

Lexa wipes away the blood staining Clarke’s skin. She washes Clarke’s body, being respectful and avoiding certain areas still covered by the limited undergarments left on Clarke’s body. When the blood is washed off, Lexa leads Clarke out of the shower.

Clarke’s hair is wet and curly. She stands in the middle of the bathroom, shivering. 

“You should take off the rest of your clothes. You might get sick.” Lexa worriedly says, holding up a towel. Clarke nods, slipping out of her bra and underwear. Lexa refrains from looking at Clarke’s glistening wet body. She quickly wraps the soft towel around Clarke’s body. Lexa slightly caresses her cheek and Clarke shuts her eyes at the touch.

Lexa leads Clarke back to the bed and sits her down. The omega grabs dry clothes for herself and goes to the bathroom to change. When she comes back, Clarke is still in the same position. Lexa grabs some of clothes and hands them to Clarke.

“Won’t fit.” Clarke croaks out. It’s the first words she says since Ontari’s death.

“The shirt and boxers are yours. You left it in Trikru last time you were there. I...well I took it.” Lexa says quietly and sadly.

“Why?” Clarke whispers.

“Um..sometimes I sleep in them. They smell like you.” Lexa whispers back. Clarke looks up at her with an unreadable expression on her face. Her eyes are filled with anger though, Lexa can tell. Clarke shakes her head. She abruptly stands up and drops her towel, starting to get changed. 

Lexa gasps and turns around. She doesn’t want to take advantage of Clarke’s vulnerable state right now.

“You have ruined me.” Clarke states coldly once she’s dressed in. Lexa whips around, confused and heart beating out of her chest.

“What?” Lexa says quietly, clearly shocked from the words out of Clarke’s mouth.

“My mate is dead and all I can think about is you.” Clarke says in an empty voice Lexa doesn’t recognize. She’s eerily calm, like a dam is about to break.

“Clarke..” Lexa starts and Clarke silences her with a growl. Lexa’s eyes widen. Clarke has never growled at her before unless it was in the midst of making love. But this growl. This low growl is quite different.

“I can never move on from you because you never let me!” Clarke barks out. Lexa suppresses a whimper.

“You’re upset b-because of w-what just happened. Don’t say something you’ll regret Clarke.” Lexa says in a low, sad voice.

“I have nothing, Lexa! You don’t know what this feels like.” Clarke snaps again, pacing the room. “I lost the love of my life years ago when she chose to mate another. Then I lost my mother and father to the family you decided to marry into. Then I found someone who understood me, at least politically. I was trying to protect my kingdom, her kingdom, and I couldn’t even save her from _one_ lowly alpha! Now I am alone again.” The last sentence is said with such sadness that it stabs at Lexa’s heart.

Lexa didn’t realize how lonely Clarke’s life must have been these past few years. She lost Lexa and her parents. Clarke was much closer to her parents than Lexa is to hers. Jake was everything to Clarke. She was Daddy’s little girl. And when he died, a part of Clarke must have died with him. But Clarke has nobody in the walls of Arkadia to confide in. A royal can’t afford close friends.

She only had Raven and Octavia. But they both married their mates and moved to their lands in Trikru years ago. So Clarke really has no one. She is alone. 

And Lexa. Lexa has Costia. Costia might not be her lover, but she’s grown to be a close trusted friend. And she still has her parents, even if they are not close. She has Anya and Lincoln too, who coincidentally are married to Raven and Octavia. Maybe Clarke is right, Lexa thinks. Maybe she really did ruin her.

“You’re right.” Lexa whispers and Clarke whips her head to look at her. She clearly didn’t think Lexa was going to agree with her. “I’ve been selfish. I - I have been holding onto you when I should have let you go. I never truly let you free. I keep trying to do the right thing but I end up doing everything wrong. I don’t know what to do anymore.” Lexa wipes the tears away. Clarke stalks towards her, but her eyes are still cold.

“Tell me the truth Lexa.” Clarke says evenly. Lexa’s lip trembles and she swallows deeply. 

“I can’t.” Lexa rasps out and Clarke moves closer, until there is barely any space between them. Clarke smells the fear pheromones coming off Lexa and takes a step back, offended almost.

“Are you actually afraid of me?” Clarke asks, shocked and a little hurt. Lexa immediately shakes her head no. Lexa isn’t scared of Clarke. She could never be scared of Clarke. She’s just scared of the truth.

“No!” Lexa squeaks out. “I’m just..I’m scared you’re going to hate me.” Lexa whispers insecurely.

“Hating you would be impossible.” Clarke’s voice softens for a second before she clears her throat and straightens her posture. “Just tell me.” Her voice is back to being cold again, her face stoic.

“This baby is yours.” Lexa says the words softly, her eyes never leaving Clarke’s. Clarke’s eyes widen, shocked. Clarke thought that Lexa was going to say she doesn’t love her anymore, that she lied before because she pities Clarke. But no. 

Clarke moves away from Lexa and kneels over, her hand onto holding a nearby to support her weight. Lexa waddles over to her. “Clarke?” But Clarke doesn’t respond. Lexa bites her lip and walks away, moving to sit on the bed until Clarke is ready to speak.

Clarke counts in her head, trying to slow down her breathing. She’s on the verge of a panic attack she can tell. Once she gets her breathing down, she straightens her posture and looks at Lexa.

“How could you lie to me?” Clarke’s voice is broken, not cold anymore just broken.

“I - I was trying to protect you.” Lexa stutters and Clarke scoffs. Lexa can feel the angry pheromones coming off Clarke.

“That’s a fucking cop out Lexa.” Clarke huffs, pacing the room.

“My father said he would claim you forced yourself on me. You would have been slaughtered. I couldn’t let that happen to you!” Lexa says, her voice loud and desperate.

Clarke growls out furiously, but not at Lexa. “I would never force myself on you or anyone.”

“I know. Clarke, I know. But my father’s words would have been enough to turn all of Trikru on you and that would be enough to convict you.” Lexa tries reasoning with Clarke.

“You should have told me.” Clarke’s voice is cold. Clarke shakes her head and suddenly her voice is much softer. “Where does this leave us?”

“What do you mean?” Lexa asks confused.

“That is my pup too.” Clarke says shakily. She hopes Lexa will recognize that fact.

“I know Clarke.” Lexa says softly. “But I am mated to Costia. We have to keep up the appearance that...that the pup is Costia’s. Both of our kingdoms can’t afford the scandal.” 

Clarke growls loud.

“Please try to understand-” Lexa starts again but Clarke cuts her off.

“Oh I understand fully.” Clarke says bitterly. “Leave me the fuck alone.”

Lexa looks shocked, her eyes wide. “What? Clarke, I’m not just going to leave you-”

“You have had no problem leaving me in the past.” Clarke snaps back and Lexa looks like a kicked puppy. “Just get out. My mate has just died the day after we mated. And now this. You aren’t going to let me act as my own child’s sire. You are going to gift that title to your precious beta.” Clarke growls out angrily. “So I’m leaving. Don’t follow.”

“Please Clarke, let me finish talking. I still want you in our lives. I-”

“Just stop.” Clarke says, her voice exhausted and crushed.

Lexa wants to say more but she knows now is not the time. Clarke’s wolf is mourning. And now she’s found out her love has lied to her. It’s just too much for anyone to handle. Lexa watches Clarke walk away. She holds back her tears until she can no longer feel her alpha’s faint footsteps.

///

Prince Roan is crowned king of Azgeda one day later. He is a thoughtful ruler, the kind of ruler Ontari wished to be. He publicly expresses his deepest condolences to his dear ally Queen Clarke of Arkadia and thanks her for all she has done for Azgeda. 

It’s been one month since the loss of Ontari and Clarke’s wolf is finally feeling itself again. She works day in and day out, avoiding all of her personal problems. Clarke is seen as ‘Wanheda,’ meaning ‘Commander of Death,’ by all the lands. Her swift slaughters of those who killed her parents and mate, is a tale that is told throughout the lands. She is a legacy, a beloved hero. Nobody will ever dare to challenge Arkadia as long as she is in power. She’s completed her goal. Her kingdom is safe.

Lexa has not heard from Clarke since the day she left Azgeda. She lays awake every night since, wondering what’s going on in Clarke’s head. She’s heard rumours that Clarke is much colder now. The light from her eyes snuffed out. But she prays these are just rumours. She isn’t sure what Clarke is going to do now that she knows Lexa is pregnant with her child. 

Lexa spends the day in the gardens with Costia. Costia has been a dear friend to her, comforting her and assuring her that Clarke will eventually come to her when she’s ready. Lexa never imagined that Clarke would run off before she could fully explain. Lexa’s omega whimpers. Deep down, she knows Clarke would never abandon her and their pup. But her insecurity gets the best of her sometimes.

“Princess Lexa, you have received a letter from Queen Clarke.” One of the castle worker’s proclaims, handing her a letter with the Arkadia seal on it. Lexa’s eyes widen as she greedily grabs the piece of paper, the first correspondence from Clarke since her found out about their pup.

_I’d like to see the pup once it’s born. Let me see our child at least once. You owe me that._

_C.G._

Lexa swallows heavily. There is absolutely no warmth in the letter. Clarke didn’t even address is to Lexa. Lexa wipes the tears away and hands the letter to Costia. Costia reads it and sympathetically looks over to the omega. She rubs the girl’s back.

“Give her more time. She’s still coping with everything.” Costia says gently. “Come on, let’s go in for some lunch. You’re eating for two. You must be hungry.” 

Lexa wordlessly nods and follows Costia inside. She misses the warmth of her Clarke. She wonders if Clarke will ever be the same again. She wonders if they will ever be the same.

///

_8 months later_

“Aden. You’re suppose to be asleep for another hour.” Lexa coos to the crying baby. Lexa smiles at her blue eyed baby boy and picks him up from his crib. Aden is just shy of two months. Clarke didn’t reach out to her during the rest of the pregnancy. Once news reached to Arkadia that Princess Lexa’s pup with her mate Princess Costia was born, Clarke sent a gift. She sent a beautiful blue teddy bear, a baby outfit, and a note. All the note said was “Arkadia looks forward to your visit with Prince Aden.”

So Lexa scheduled a visit to Arkadia once Aden was old enough to travel, which is now. Lexa lightly bounces her baby boy, wiping his tears away. He looks so much like Clarke. His hair is sandy blonde and his eyes bright blue. He looks nothing like Lexa or Costia. The nobles are suspicious, especially after word reached the lands that Lexa publicly rushed to Queen Clarke’s side twice in Azgeda - the first time when Clarke passed out after defeating Nia and the second after Clarke’s mate was killed. Gustus is furious but Lexa is starting to care less and less. Now that Aden is born, she only cares about doing right by her son and Clarke of course.

Aden is the light of Lexa’s life. She knows now that even if her and Clarke are never together again, they did one thing so so right. Aden Jacob Woods is her everything. He’s so smart, so observant for a small baby. His eyes are all smiles.

“I think someone is hungry.” Lexa speaks in a baby voice before undoing her shirt. Aden latches onto her breast and she hums as she feeds her son. Once Aden is done feeding, Lexa changes him into the clothes Clarke sent. The handmade sweater is blue and white with the Arkadian symbol crocheted on the back. The pants, hat, and booties are also knitted. Aden looks absolutely precious in the outfit. 

“You sure you don’t want me to come?” Costia says as she walks into the nursery. Lexa looks up with a soft smile.

“No. Thank you though.” Lexa finishes putting Aden’s booties on, her eyes never leave her son. “This is something me and Aden have to do on our own.” Lexa takes a deep breathe. She’s going to see Clarke again.

///

“I don’t know why you insist on sneaking out every morning.” Niylah says with a satisfied smile on her face. “Nobody cares if you take me to bed.”

Clarke throws on her pants and gets up from the bed. “I don’t need the nobles gossiping more than they already are about me.” The alpha grumbles.

“What a moody alpha you are.” Niylah teases and Clarke huffs. “Perhaps this has nothing to do with the nobles.”

“What are you talking about Ny?” Clarke says as she puts on her shirt.

“Princess Lexa is visiting with her newborn today, isn’t she?” Niylah says with a knowing smile on her face. 

Niylah is a beta and the daughter of Duke Miller, a wealthy landowner with the most properties in all of Arkadia. She would be a very suitable mate for Clarke. But Clarke doesn’t want a mate and neither does Niylah. They are just having some harmless fun.

“I don’t see what that has to do with anything.” Clarke says evenly, careful not to look at Niylah. She accidently and oh so drunkenly confided in Niylah that Lexa’s child is hers. But Niylah isn’t one to gossip. 

In fact, Clarke has known Niylah for years. They were never that close as Niylah is a few years older than Lexa and Clarke. Niylah used to spend winters in Arkadia too while growing up. She’d be here at the same time Lexa was. During that time she had a long affair with Duchess Luna, who was married to Duke Derrick. Luna was older than Niylah and Niylah fell madly for the married woman. Eventually Luna broke Niylah’s heart. 

Niylah’s father wishes for her to wed someone but she has no desire. She has grown to be a close friend to Clarke this past two months. Clarke was so angry for the first few months. Her whole life was so structured and exclusively for her country. Lexa was gone and Ontari dead. And now Lexa wants Costia to be named sire of her baby. 

She just needed something for herself. So one night her and Niylah fell into bed after news came out that Lexa officially named Costia the sire of her son. Clarke was so angry. After a few months, she started to understand Lexa’s choice more. She still hates it, but she by no means could ever hate Lexa. Lexa will always be the love of her life. They’re both just trying to survive. After all, they are royals first and above all else.

Her and Niylah sleep together now just to get their own mutual frustrations out. It doesn’t mean a thing. There are no feelings. It’s just two lost souls searching for physical intimacy. It’s not soft. It’s rough and fast. 

“She’s bringing your son with her Clarke. You have no feelings about that?” Niylah pushes Clarke again. Clarke growls.

“Of course I do! I just don’t wish to discuss this right now. Now if you’ll excuse me.” Clarke grumbles out and Niylah just shakes her head, her eyes smirking a tad.

“Like I said, moody moody moody.” Niylah whispers to herself before stretching and snuggling into the blankets for some more sleep.

///

Lexa’s carriage arrives and the omega takes a deep breath. Aden is fast asleep in her arms. She looks to her son and smiles, gaining the courage to step out of the carriage and into the castle walls. Lexa is led to the throne room where she can smell Clarke. The doors open and Clarke is sitting on her throne talking to one of her trusted advisors Kane. 

Clarke’s nose scrunches up and she immediately stops talking to Kane, whipping her head over in Lexa’s direction. Clarke’s mouth is parted and her eyes are wide and frantic. She’s staring at the bundle in the omega’s arms. Lexa watches _her_ alpha look at their baby for the first time. It’s heartbreaking. 

“Everyone leave us.” Clarke’s voice booms out and all the nobles look a little shocked at Clarke’s decree. Nobody is foolish enough to question her though. The last noble to leave closes the doors to the throne room and it’s just Clarke and Lexa and of course baby Aden.

Lexa walks a few steps more into the room. Clarke transcends from her throne and Lexa has to suppress a whimper. Clarke looks strong, a perfect alpha. Her crown lays perfectly on her head, her makeup fierce. Both omega and alpha are pumping out nervous pheromones.

Clarke reaches Lexa and looks into her eyes. They aren’t as cold as they were last time they met. Now they are just sad but also filled back with the love Lexa missed dearly.

“Lexa..” Clarke breathes out.

“Clarke..” Lexa whispers, reveling in being in her alpha’s presence again. Her whole body is buzzing. The two stare at each other for what seems like forever. A soft whine that escapes Aden’s lips breaks their gaze into eachother’s eyes. Clarke stares down at the baby and she gasps, her hand flying to her mouth. Lexa sadly smiles.

“Can I..can I hold him?” Clarke asks nervously.

“Of course. Be careful, support his head.” Lexa says like a typical worried mom. Clarke smiles in awe at her son. Tears fill her eyes.

Aden’s eyes flutter open and Clarke’s blue eyes widen.

“Oh.” Clarke says stunned. Lexa looks at her curiously. “I didn’t think he’d have my eyes.” Clarke softly explains and Lexa smiles.

“He’s very much your son Clarke.” Lexa tenderly says, pushing back the pup’s blonde curls. Clarke looks up at Lexa, who is oh so close to her. “And no matter what the public thinks, he will know that.” The alpha’s eyes drift to Lexa’s lips and Lexa’s fall to Clarke’s. Clarke leans in a little, her nose ghosting over Lexa’s. Before Lexa can return the action, Aden gurgles. Clarke looks down at him and smiles.

“Sorry my sweet baby boy. I should be paying attention to how beautiful you are, huh?” Clarke coos and Lexa watches on sadly. She can’t even think about the kiss her and Clarke almost shared. It’s all too much right now. Lexa chooses to chalk it up to the emotions of Clarke meeting their son for the first time. 

“I bet you’re an alpha. I can tell.” Clarke says proudly with a puffed chest. Lexa scoffs and playfully rolls her eyes.

“You alphas.” Lexa mutters and Clarke chuckles. Clarke bites her lip and looks like she wants to say something.

“Look Lexa, I’m sorry for how I acted. I lashed out at you. It was inexcusable.” Clarke says sincerely. Lexa nods.

“You were dealing with a lot.” Lexa tries to remind Clarke.

“Doesn’t excuse it.” Clarke says firmly.

“I know. But I understand. And I accept your apology.” Lexa says honestly. Clarke nods and goes back to looking at their baby boy. Lexa finally gets the courage to ask Clarke something that has been eating away at her. “Do you forgive me?”

Clarke looks up at her sadly. She looks back down at Aden and smiles. “Yes.”

Lexa lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. “You do?”

“You were doing what you thought was best. I know you never wanted to hurt me.” Clarke says sadly, her eyes now looking into Lexa’s. “We all are trying our best.”

“My best wasn’t good enough though.” Lexa says quietly.

“Mine wasn’t either.” Clarke quips back with a small smile on her face. “Let’s be better. For Aden.”

“Does this mean you want to be a part of his life?” Lexa asks hopefully.

“I always did. I’m sorry you thought otherwise. I was just so angry. I’m better now though. I’m trying.” Clarke says truthfully.

“Maybe we can be a little family after all, huh?” Lexa weakly jokes. The joke falls short and Lexa gulps.

“Maybe we can.” Clarke says with a smile on her face. Lexa’s face blushes, her eyes wide in shock. She didn’t think Clarke would say that. She thought she lost Clarke forever. What Lexa doesn’t realize is how right her joke actually is. They will be a family. They _will_ get their maybe someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! Clarke and Lexa are slowly finding their way back to each other. Almost all the angst is over now. Try to understand Lexa and Clarke and their actions. Like Clarke said, they're both trying their best. And given all they've been through, it's not all sunshine and rainbows.
> 
> [Spoiler if you haven't read this chapter yet] : I didn't want to kill Ontari because she really wasn't bad (in this fic). But after rethinking the plot line a couple times, I ended up here. I hope y'all enjoy this chapter. I'll try to get the final chapter out there soon enough :)
> 
> I appreciate all comments, kudos, and hits !
> 
> If you have any questions you'd like to ask me about this fic or any other of my works, ask away on my tumblr. Always down for prompts too. http://clexainparadise.tumblr.com/


	4. Mates First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke grow closer. Niylah and Lexa have a chat. Clarke and Lexa realize something very important!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes!

Aden falls asleep in Clarke’s arms as his sire hums a soft lullaby to him. Clarke and Lexa are still in the throne room, sitting as Clarke fawns over their little pup. Lexa looks on with such love in her eyes. Clarke is such an amazing sire. She deserves to be Aden’s sire in public just as she is in private. It’s not fair. Lexa feels so weak. She feels like she’s been her father’s puppet for years. But no more. Lexa is going to stand up for herself and for her pup...and for her alpha.

Clarke senses the change in Lexa’s mood and glances up at the omega. Lexa’s eyes are narrow and towards the floor. Clarke’s face scrunches up in confusion.

“Lex?” Clarke calls out and Lexa’s head shoots up, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“Sorry. I was just thinking.” Lexa mumbles, blushing.

“About what?” Clarke asks curiously and Lexa bites her lip.

“I wish you could be his sire in public too.” Lexa breathes out and the natural smile on Clarke’s face falters. Her body tenses but she’s careful not to pump out angry pheromones since Aden is in her arms.

“You made that decision Lexa. Not me.” Clarke says plainly. She sighs deeply as Lexa nods sullenly. “Look, I don’t want to fight. I just want to get to know my son.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Lexa mumbles out and Clarke sadly smiles at the omega.

“I really missed you too.” Clarke says gently but it has Lexa’s heart racing. Clarke misses her? Lexa inwardly curses herself for thinking that means her and Clarke might have a chance.

“Clarke..I’ve missed you so much.” Lexa breathes out, her lip trembling a little. Clarke smiles softly at her.

“We’re together now. Let’s just..let’s focus on that for now.” Clarke says quietly, her eyes breaking away from Lexa’s and focusing on her sleeping pup safe in her arms. Lexa smiles. They’re together again.

///

Clarke walks Lexa to her and Aden’s guest bedroom. Clarke had her old cradle brought into the room. It’s not a normal custom to give royal guests the Arkadian cradle but Clarke doesn’t care. That’s her son and he’s going to sleep in her family’s cradle for as long as he’s here. Rumours be damned.

Clarke gently places Aden in down and leaves the room, telling Lexa that there will be a dinner in Aden’s honor tonight. Clarke wants a huge ball for her son but that would arouse too much suspicion. So instead, there will be a dinner with all the nobles in the castle. It’s still very large, but royals and nobles from surrounding countries won’t be coming. Lexa is shocked by Clarke’s announcement but she loves the gesture. Clarke is really trying. 

Clarke gifts Lexa with a gorgeous gown that matches her eyes and Aden with a cute comfy black suit for tonight. The alpha leaves and Lexa swoons. Clarke Griffin will always give Lexa Woods butterflies and no matter what happens, nothing will ever change that.

///

Clarke kisses down the column of Lexa’s throat. The alpha is worshipping her omega’s body.

“I love you Lexa.” Clarke whispers on Lexa’s sweaty skin. Lexa squirms under her alpha’s touch. 

“Are you ready for me?” Clarke gently asks as she curls her fingers inside Lexa’s pulsing walls. Lexa’s eyes roll in the back of her head as her back arches up. “Yes, please Clarke!” The omega cries out. They’re both completely naked and hot and sweaty. They need each other.

“I’ve missed kissing you so much.” Clarke says before taking a nipple in her mouth. 

“Fuck I’m going to come.” Lexa moans out and Clarke abruptly stops her movements with her fingers and growls. 

“Not yet my love.” Clarke mumbles against Lexa’s breath. Lexa nods, getting impossibly wetter at Clarke’s soft demand.

Clarke pulls her fingers out of Lexa and puts them in Lexa’s mouth. Lexa sucks off her own essence and Clarke moans. It’s like that action awakened something in Clarke. The alpha growls a little, like she’s jealous, like she’s the only one who can taste Lexa.

Clarke grabs her cock and lines up with Lexa’s entrance. She pushes in and Lexa cries out and gasps. It’s been so long for her. She hasn’t had sex since her and Clarke conceived Aden.

“Fuck more.” Lexa moans out and Clarke complies. She starts rutting into Lexa hard and fast.

“More.” Lexa demands and Clarke grunts. She fucks Lexa harder just like the omega wants, the bed creaking loudly. Loud thuds of the bedpost against the wall can surely be heard in the castle walls. 

“Clarke bite me. Claim me please.” Lexa begs desperately as she comes closer and closer to a fiery orgasm. 

“Lex..” Clarke grunts out, trying to fight off her own release. Clarke’s teeth graze Lexa’s beating pulse point. The omega inside Lexa screams out in pleasure.

“Please…” Lexa’s begging is coming out breathier. Lexa’s orgasm hits her at the same time Clarke’s does. The alpha bites down hard on Lexa’s neck and Lexa reciprocates. They’re finally connect, finally bonded, finally -

Lexa wakes up in a heavy sweat from her dream, hearing Aden’s cries. The omega immediately grabs at her neck to feel for anyone new claiming marks to no avail. Lexa steadies her own breathing and gets up to soothe her and Clarke’s baby boy. 

Lexa always has the same dreams. Her and Clarke mating for the first time. Her and Clarke having lots and lots of pups. Her and Clarke together for the rest of their lives. Everytime she wakes up she grows deeply sad and wildly uncomfortable from the wetness between her legs.

It’s been so long since Lexa was intimate with anyone but herself. It’s true. The last time she had sex was when her and Clarke conceived baby Aden. And before that, it was years. Her and Costia stopped having sex about a year or two after their mating, and even then it was very rare.

Lexa gets up from her nap and picks up Aden who just woke up from his own slumber. She rocks him slowly back and forth, his tears turning to quiet whimpers. She sniffs and her nose scrunches up.

“Ooo you made a smelly didn’t you?” Lexa coos. Aden looks at her, his lip trembling in the exact same way Clarke’s does when she’s upset. Lexa smiles at their pup as she changes his diaper and starts to get him ready for the dinner. 

Lexa dresses Aden and then herself. The gown is gorgeous and clearly very expensive. The maids knock on the door and tell her that the festivities are starting. Lexa carries her son and enters the throne room. Clarke is on her throne, talking to some dukes. When the alpha smells Lexa’s scent, she immediately stands up. The whole crowd goes silent with the flick of Clarke’s hand. Lexa would be lying if she said Clarke’s power wasn’t hot.

“Dear Arkadians, today we celebrate the birth of Princess Lexa of Trikru’s pup Prince Aden. Tonight is in honor of them.” Clarke smiles wide and her voice booms. She raises up her cup of wine. “To Princess Lexa and Prince Aden.” The crowd raise their cups and repeat the Queen’s words. “To Princess Lexa and Prince Aden.”

Lexa smiles politely at everyone, her eyes always finding their way back to Clarke. The crowd goes back to normal and Lexa makes her way to Clarke. Clarke’s eyes are beaming at their son.

“How is he?” Clarke asks sweetly. 

“He was being a little fussy early. He seems okay now.” Lexa says, changing positions in holding him so that Aden’s head lays on her chest. “You can hold him if you’d like.”

“I can’t.” Clarke pouts. “It will raise more suspicions.” 

“You’re just holding him not proclaiming yourself as his sire.” Lexa says quietly with a smile on her face, teasing Clarke.

“I’m afraid my eyes might give it away.” Clarke says softly and Lexa bites her lip. “May I visit your bedchambers later?” Clarke blurts out and Lexa’s eyes widen at the words.

“I don’t mean - well um I only mean so I can put him to bed. I didn’t mean -” Clarke cutely rambles and Lexa laughs lightly.

“Of course Clarke.” Lexa says gently. The rest of the night is very nice. The nobles come up to Lexa and wish her son good wishes. They gift him with many lovely presents. Her and Clarke’s son is truly being spoiled tonight. Somewhere along the way, Lexa loses Clarke in the crowd. 

She looks across the room and sees Clarke talking to some pretty blonde woman. Lexa swallows hard. She reminds herself that Clarke is just talking to this woman, to not get irrationally jealous. Diana Sydney is in the group of nobles talking to her and she follows Lexa’s line of vision.

“Oh that’s Niylah Miller over there. You know the Duke’s daughter? Lovely girl, she’s been spending her time at court rather than at her family’s chateau as of late.” Diana says nonchalantly and Lexa calms down. She knows Niylah. Niylah always visited Arkadia castle at the same time she did. Last she heard, she was madly in love with Duchess Luna. Lexa inwardly curses herself for being jealous. Clarke isn’t hers anyways.

“Oh right. If you’ll excuse me, I think I should go say hello. It’s been ages.” Lexa says politely and makes her way towards Clarke and Niylah. Clarke has an easy smile on her face and it stirs something in Lexa’s stomach, something unpleasant. Clarke never smiles like that with her anymore, not in a long time actually.

“Lexa.” Clarke breathes out, her eyes filling up with love. Lexa smiles at her and then looks toward Niylah.

“Hello Clarke. Nice to see you again Niylah. It’s been years. How are you?” Lexa says with a sincere smile on her face. Niylah was always nice to her and Clarke even though she was a few years older than them.

“The years have been kind to you Princess. Your pup is beautiful.” Niylah says sweetly. 

“Thank you. He’s my little charmer.” Lexa says softly, caressing her sleepy son’s cheek. “I should be getting him to bed now. It was lovely seeing you again.”

“I’ll come with you.” Clarke pipes up and Lexa looks at her shocked. Lexa looks over to Niylah, expecting a curious or even shocked look on the beta’s face but her eyes are instead knowing. Lexa swallows hard. Does Niylah know Clarke is Aden’s sire? No, that would be impossible. How close are Niylah and Clarke? Perhaps, they are closer than Lexa thought. The telltale signs of jealousy flood through Lexa’s veins. Lexa nods and smiles politely.

Lexa slips out of the party first and a few minutes later, Clarke walks out. They didn’t want to leave the dinner together as that would be much too obvious.

“Hey, he’s not asleep yet is he?” Clarke asks as she walks through the doors of Lexa’s guest bedchamber.

“No. I still have to change him. Would you like to help?” Lexa asks gently. Clarke smiles wide and nods. Clarke picks up Aden from his crib, the baby looks up at her in awe. Clarke smiles and coos at him.

“Hello my sweet boy. Ready for night night?” Clarke says gently, placing him on the middle of Lexa’s bed. Lexa hands Clarke his pajamas and Clarke changes him like she’s been doing this for years. Clarke playfully nibbles at Aden’s toes and blows raspberries on her pup’s stomach. Aden gurgles and smiles, still too young to laugh. 

“You’re a natural with him.” Lexa remarks in awe. Clarke just smiles and bites her lip.

“He’s perfect. I feel such a strong pull to him.” Clarke says softly. The blonde picks her son up and gently rocks him back and forth, singing lovingly to him. Soon enough, Aden is fast asleep in Clarke’s arms. Clarke gently puts Aden in her old crib and he sighs out peacefully, falling deeper into a tranquil slumber.

“He likes you. He always cries in Costia’s arms.” Lexa says offhandedly. Clarke can’t help the spike of anger in her pheromones. Lexa swallows heavy, realizing her mistake. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring her up.”

“There’s no point in you ignoring the reality you’ve created, _Lexa_.” Clarke spat out venomously. She calms her pheromones so she doesn’t disturb Aden’s sleep.

“Costia is a good friend to me, Clarke. She respects that you are Aden’s sire.” Lexa says, her heart beating fast. 

“I’m sure she loved finding out you were unfaithful to her.” Clarke mumbled as she stares at her son.

“Actually, we have an arrangement.” Lexa says quietly, clearing her throat. Clarke whips her head in Lexa’s direction.

“What kind of arrangement?” Clarke asks, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“It doesn’t matter.” Lexa sighs deeply. She doesn’t want to give Clarke false hope. Clarke stalks closer and closer to Lexa, their bodies almost touching.

“Tell me.” Clarke says firmly.

“She has a lover.” Lexa says softly. Clarke’s eyes widen. Her hands slowly moving to caress Lexa’s arms. A shiver runs through Lexa’s spine when her alpha makes the contact.

“She’s cheating on you?” Clarke says angrily, stopping the growl from leaving her throat so she doesn’t wake Aden up.

“No Clarke. We have an open marriage.” Lexa says, dizzy from how close Clarke is to her. Clarke’s eyes are as wide as saucers right now. She looks angry, maybe even jealous.

“You have been with others?” Clarke grits out.

“Only you.” Lexa says tenderly, her eyes sad.

“I - I don’t understand.” Clarke says as she starts pacing the room. Lexa bites her lip. She doesn’t want to further complicate Clarke’s life. She can see Clarke is doing well now. She doesn’t want to wreak havoc on that progress.

“Sit down next to me and I will tell you everything. I believe this conversation is long overdue.” Lexa says nervously, moving towards the bed. Clarke nods and sits down next to her. Lexa shakily grabs Clarke’s hands. She takes a deep breath and then begins.

“Costia was engaged just as I was when our parents decided we should mate.” Lexa says carefully, looking at the frown growing on Clarke’s face at the memories of Lexa’s past betrayal. “She was in love with Echo and she never fell out of love with her...just as I never fell out of love with you.” Lexa’s face is shaky and vulnerable. Clarke gasps out in shock. Lexa refuses to look in Clarke’s eyes, afraid she might find that Clarke has moved on from her.

“But you two seemed so connected all those years ago at my coronation.” Clarke mumbles confused. “You are to tell me that you don’t love her?” Clarke asks incredulously. 

“I do love her.” Lexa says truthfully, her eyes scanning Clarke’s face. Clarke looks sad at her words and Lexa hurries to explain. “But only as a dear friend. We haven’t been together intimately since the first few years of our marriage..and even then it was usually only in my heats.”

Clarke’s face pales and she shakes her head. Clearly, the alpha is in shock.

“What?” Clarke’s voice is quiet, confusion evident in her tone.

“Yeah..” Lexa chuckles nervously, insecurely pushing a strand of her own hair behind her ear.

“So you haven’t been with anyone since..me?” Clarke asks shocked and Lexa nods slowly, a blush creeping up on her neck.

“Have you?” Lexa blurts out awkwardly.

“Have I what?” Clarke asks confused.

“Been with anyone else? Well other than..um never mind.” Lexa mumbles tensely. She’s not sure how Clarke will take bringing up her dead mate. Clarke looks sad for a second before sucking a deep breath in.

“Yes. I have been with someone else other than Ontari.” Clarke whispers quietly, refusing to look at Lexa. Lexa feels the tears stinging at her eyes. 

“Oh.” Lexa simply replies. “Of course yeah.” Lexa says her voice somber and suddenly very small. Clarke clears her throat awkwardly, not sure if she should explain herself or not. She chooses to change the subject.

“Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t love Costia?” Clarke asks softly, exhaustion from this back and forth evident in her voice.

“Because it didn’t matter. I’m still mated Clarke. You deserve more than to be my lover in the dark.” Lexa says quietly, getting emotional.

“Don’t you get it?” Clarke asks firmly. Lexa looks up at her, lip trembling. “I will always be in love with you.” Clarke says softly and Lexa releases a choked sob. Clarke caresses Lexa’s cheek. Lexa leans into the touch. Tears fall from Lexa’s eyes.

“I’ve made so many mistakes.” Lexa whispers out, her eyes closed.

“I would be lying if I said I’m not still angry, bitter over your choices in life.” Clarke says back equally soft. “Goddamnit Lexa, I could have given you everything.” Clarke says tiredly and Lexa cries harder. Clarke pulls her into a deep embrace, petting her hair.

“I’m so sorry Clarke. I - I’m so sorry.” Lexa sniffles, her voice muffled as she burrows deeper into Clarke’s neck. 

“I know you are.” Clarke mumbles back, her hand resting on Lexa’s lower back. Lexa breaks from Clarke’s embrace, her eyes glistening with tears unshed. God she’s even beautiful when she’s crying, Clarke thinks.

“I want you to be Aden’s sire.” Lexa says firmly.

“I am Lex.” Clarke answers confused, wiping away the omega’s tears with the pad of her thumb.

“No..I mean in public.” Lexa says softly and Clarke sucks in a deep breath.

“Lexa..You made a decision when you named Costia our pup’s sire. How are we to go back on that now?”

“I - I’m not sure.” Lexa mumbles sadly. “Maybe my mother can help us. She always had a soft spot for you.” Lexa says and Clarke bites her lip unsurely.

“And what of Costia?” Clarke asks bitterly.

“What of Costia?” Lexa asks confused.

“You can’t be mated to her and have a child with another. It will make Aden a bastard by royal standards. He will never be able to inherit my throne.” Clarke says truthfully. And Lexa sighs.

“I..does he have to be future king?” Lexa asks weakly.

“I suppose not Lexa, but Arkadian nobles will see Aden as a threat to the ‘rightful succession’ of leaders. If I ever have more pups, there will be fighting for who will rule one day. I refuse to let Aden be put as risk just so he bears my name.” Clarke says sadly. Lexa’s heart clenches unpleasantly at the idea of Clarke having pups with someone else. It twists her heart in the most unpleasant of sensations. 

“Right...I didn’t think about that.” Lexa retreats in on herself.

“I just..I don’t see how this could work unless I mate you and well...we both know that’s not possible.” Clarke says regretfully. Lexa nods and looks off out the window.

“Then where does this leave us?” Lexa asks quietly. Clarke ponders the question for a second.

“I love Aden. I am his sire but you can’t go back on your word now. Your family will lose it’s credibility and I don’t want you to be at risk just for Aden to publicly wear my royal crest.”

“It’s more than him wearing your crest, Clarke.” Lexa says softly and Clarke nods.

“You’re right but it still doesn’t matter. We are too far down one path and now we must commit to it...no matter how much our hearts might wish we can do otherwise.” Clarke says sadly and lovingly. Lexa avoids Clarke’s loving stare and looks at the floor. Clarke nods at Lexa’s avoidance of her eyes and moves to leave.

“W-where are you going?” Lexa stutters out. She didn’t realize they were done talking.

“Aden is asleep and I don’t want to keep you any longer. I wish see you tomorrow Lexa. Goodnight.” Clarke gently says and Lexa nods.

“Oh..right okay.” Lexa mumbles sadly, wishing Clarke would stay longer. “Goodnight Clarke.” Lexa returns the sentiments. Both have dreams of finally being in each other’s arms.

///

The next day Lexa wakes up early and dressed Aden in a cute outfit that Clarke had left outside her bedchamber’s this evening. Lexa finds Clarke’s little gifts to their son to be heartening.

“How about we go find your sire?” Lexa coos to Aden, pretending like he can understand her. “How does that sound my little peanut?” Lexa smiles at Aden’s alert eyes taking in his mother’s face. He gurgles loudly back at her and Lexa takes that as a yes.

Lexa finds out from a royal guard that Clarke is in a briefing and won’t be done for a few hours. Lexa nods politely and decides to roam the castle walls, giving Aden a little tour of where her and Clarke fell in love.

Lexa gets to the garden and finds Niylah sitting, reading a book. Niylah smiles once she spots Lexa. Lexa politely smiles back. 

“Princess Lexa, a pleasure. Would you care for some lunch?” Niylah asks warmly and Lexa bites her lip. Niylah seems very nice and under normal circumstances, maybe she’d say yes but now she’s not so sure. Is this the other woman that Clarke has been with? They surely seemed close at the ball.

“Actually I’m not very hu-” Lexa’s words are cut off by a loud grumbling of her stomach. Niylah looks at her incredulously and chuckles.

“I don’t bite, Princess. We can catch up, if you’d like.” Niylah says teasingly and Lexa nods. She supposes she can endure a meal with Niylah, after all she is pleasant enough. Lexa won’t let her jealousy overrun her.

“So are you enjoying being a mother?” Niylah asks curiously.

“It’s tiring but very rewarding. I love Aden with everything. I wouldn’t trade being his mother for anything.” Lexa says softly, looking down fondly at her baby boy. Niylah smiles at the pair.

“That is so adorable! You make me reconsider not wanting pups.” Niylah gently teases. Lexa swallows hard.

“You don’t want pups?” Lexa asks curiously.

“I never really had the desire. And with my old lover, it wasn’t possible so I just got used to the idea of not having them.” Niylah shrugs. Lexa pales a bit. So Niylah and Luna are no longer together. Does that mean that Niylah and Clarke are..? No. And even if they are, it doesn’t matter. Clarke is allowed to do as she pleases. Lexa will just ignore the deep pains stinging at her heart.

“Well perhaps now you can..with a new lover.” Lexa’s says softly, her eyes a little pained. Niylah looks at her apprehensively for a moment before understanding dawns in her eyes.

“You know.” Niylah states blankly, shocked. Lexa sucks in a deep breath. She may have had her suspicions but she didn’t know until right now.

“I had my suspicions.” Lexa said with a pained voice. She’s desperate to make sure her voice doesn’t crack. She has to be strong. “Do you know about..” Lexa trails off because she thinks Niylah knows about Aden being Clarke’s but she isn’t sure and she won’t risk that information coming out.

“Yes I do. I know Aden is Clarke’s.” Niylah says sadly. She can tell Lexa is upset by this information but Niylah is not a liar. Clarke is more than just her occasional bedmate, she is her friend and she wants to look out for her. When Niylah invited Lexa for lunch, it was truly just friendly. She had no intention for this type of conversation to happen, but of course nothing ever goes as planned.

Lexa closes her eyes tightly, trying to regain her composure. “I see.” Lexa says quietly. “You two must be very close.” Lexa mumbles, giving a small pained smile. She knew one day Clarke would move on. Ontari was different. She was Clarke’s mate out of political duty. It doesn’t mean Clarke didn’t care for her but it’s not the same as this. 

Clarke is with Niylah. Clarke has been intimate with Niylah and she’s trusted her with such a massive secret, possibly the biggest secret she’s ever had to keep. Lexa’s heart burns and her head pounds. Clarke has not just given her body to Niylah, she’s given the beta her trust and companionship. Maybe she’s even given Niylah her heart. The thought kills Lexa’s omega. Her wolf whines sadly and sobs inside her. It’s taking everything in her not to run away and cry under the tree where her and Clarke ‘married’ as children.

A small whine from her arms breaks her from her distress. It’s her baby boy Aden. He seems upset, maybe it’s because of the distressed pheromones his mother is pumping out. They are completely unintentional but nonetheless rather strong. She immediately stops pumping them out and switches her body to soothing pheromones. Aden yawns and his lips smack together adorably. The calming pheromones seem to be putting him in a peaceful nap.

“Do you love her?” Lexa asks quietly. She’s ready to give up her love Clarke to Niylah if the beta makes her happy. She knows she can’t hold on to Clarke forever...not when she’s mated to another.

Niylah looks at her sadly. “Oh Lexa, what me and Clarke have is...well I don’t know what to call it. She is an amazing woman..a perfect alpha.” Niylah gushes softly and Lexa has to bite back her growl. She doesn’t want to hear about how _her_ alpha is so perfect for another.

“But she’s not my alpha and she never will be.” Niylah says softly. “She gave away her heart a long time ago.”

Lexa’s eyes widen. “I don’t understand. Aren’t you two together?” Lexa asks confused. If Clarke were here, she would have swooned over how cute Lexa’s scrunched up brows are.

“No Lexa. We are not together. Clarke and I only find comfort in each other’s arms. It isn’t love. She has become a close friend, however. I can see how much losing you has hurt her. So please don’t hurt her again by leaving.” Niylah says gently and Lexa’s eyes widen.

“I - I have to leave. Clarke knows this is only a visit. I have..I have a mate to get back to. My father would never allow me to stay here.” Lexa stutters out. Why does Niylah think that Lexa staying here is possible? Niylah shakes her head slightly.

“Lexa, forgive me for being so frank, do you love your mate?” Niylah asks and Lexa bites her lip. She doesn’t know why she’s having such an honest conversation with a stranger but perhaps that’s when the most honest conversations happen. With strangers.

“I’m not in love with her. She’s a good friend but I have only ever loved Clarke in that way and I only ever will.” Lexa mumbles sadly, rocking their son back and forth in her eyes. It hurts Niylah to see this. Both girls love each other so much. It’s frustrating that they aren’t together.

“Lexa, you have a choice to make. Defy the rules of the kingdom’s and choose Clarke. She would fight for you to be together, mating marks be damned. you can go back to Costia. But if you choose to go back to your mate, you cannot stare longingly at Clarke. You cannot steal kisses in the dark. You can no longer let her hold your heart. It’s tearing both of you apart.” Niylah says sadly. She knows Clarke will be furious if she hears of this conversation but Niylah cares about Clarke’s well being and that means she can’t sit on the sidelines and watch her friend’s heartbreak for this omega everyday. Same for Lexa. They can’t live in this limbo anymore.

“I can’t risk the kingdoms going against us. Clarke is queen. I refuse to let her lose her kingdom. And I have my son to think about. The time for being selfish has passed.” Lexa says solemnly. Niylah chuckles sadly and moves to get up. Lexa is confused as to why Niylah is laughing.

“You have never been selfish, Lexa. And you have never once put your lover’s needs above your duty. Face it..you are a princess first, and a lover second.”

Lexa’s parts slightly in surprise at the words and watches as Clarke’s new lover walks off. She feels like she just learned something very important.

If only she would actually listen to her heart for once.

///

Lexa stays for a few more days and Clarke spends time with their son. Aden loves Clarke and cries whenever he is taken from the alpha’s arms. Both Clarke and Lexa lose a little part of their hearts when they hear their son’s wails when removed from his sire’s arms. How is he to fair once they leave the walls of Arkadia’s castle.

Lexa never mentions her conversation with Niylah. The beta excuses herself to her chateau respectfully. Lexa assumes it’s because she wants to give her and Clarke time to reconnect if Lexa so chooses. 

Lexa doesn’t speak about her jealousy. She doesn’t speak of her love for Clarke. She doesn’t speak of her desire to throw duty out the window and to take Clarke in her arms.

Instead, she spends the visit talking about their son. Clarke’s eyes brighten whenever she so much as hears Aden’s name. Clarke doesn’t move to kiss her after that first day slip up. They only share accidental brushes of the hand when handing off Aden to one another. But still, it’s more than Lexa ever thought she would get again. 

She’s undeserving of Clarke. Clarke, who was willing to give up her kingdom for her. Clarke, who was willing to run away with her and live in the comfort of each other’s embrace forever. Clarke. The one who would have done anything for her.

Lexa leaves with teary eyes and a promise to come back in a few months with Aden. Those next few months pain all of them. They yearn to be in eachother’s presence once more.

///

_1 Year Later_

Lexa comes to visit every month with with Aden. Clarke and Aden bond immensely. Lexa and Clarke grow close again as well, but never intimate. Clarke always distances herself whenever her and the omega get too close. Lexa would be lying if she said it doesn’t hurt, but she understands. 

Niylah is conveniently outside the castle walls whenever Lexa is around. But that doesn’t stop the whispers Lexa hears in the halls of Arkadia about Clarke and Niylah’s rumoured affair. It pains her but she understands. She understands but it kills her.

Clarke waits eagerly outside the castle walls. Lexa’s carriage arrives and Clarke smiles wide. She’s missed Lexa and their child. They always seem like a little family for those few days when Lexa and Aden visit.

Aden. Aden looks so much like her. She misses their son so much. It pains her everyday that she is so far away from him.

“Hello Clarke.” Lexa beams out, her omega swooning now that she’s near her alpha again. Clarke smiles bright.

“Hi Lexa.” Clarke says excitedly like a kid in a candy shop. All ‘princess’ and ‘Queen’ formalities wash away. “And hello to you Aden.” Clarke coos, stepping closer to her two favorite people in the world. This is what she lives for.

“Come on, lets go inside. It’s freezing and I don’t want you two to catch a cold.” Clarke says sweetly. She takes her coat off and places it on Lexa’s shoulders. Lexa is shocked by the tender action but she’d be lying if it didn’t warm her heart.

///

“How’s Costia?” Clarke asks, her tone not as bitter as it used to be. 

“Oh um..she’s good. Her and Echo are visiting Azgeda for two weeks.” Lexa says quietly. She still feels uncomfortable discussing her mate to Clarke. Her love for Clarke hasn’t lessened, if anything it’s only gotten stronger now that she sees Clarke for a few days every month.

Her and Clarke have a weird relationship right now. Clarke will sometimes fall asleep in Lexa’ guest bed chambers, with Aden sleeping safely in between them. Lexa wakes up and for a second, she pretends that this is how it always is. She pretends Clarke is her alpha and she is Clarke’s omega. She pretends that Clarke kisses her gently when she wakes up. She lives in her fantasy world a lot these days. 

Her father died two months ago. It was a large funeral, even Clarke came but she kept her distance from Lexa to avoid suspicion. The next day, Lexa’s older brother Lincoln was crowned king. Lexa disagreed with her father on almost everything, but she did not wish death upon him.

The night of the funeral, Clarke visited her bedchambers. Costia thankfully wasn’t there as she usually spent nights with Echo now. Clarke offered her comfort and Lexa took it greedily, crying herself asleep in her alpha’s arms. 

Ever since then, Clarke has been warmer and more affectionate with Lexa. Lexa loves it when Clarke’s hands linger on hers for a few seconds longer than an accidental brush of skin. She loves it when Clarke kisses her temple when she wakes up first and doesn’t think Lexa is up yet. She loves when Clarke helps her give Aden bedtime and she softly sings to him. 

Lexa loves Clarke. She loves her so much and if this is all she can have from the alpha, then she will be selfish just as Niylah said.

“Lexa?” Clarke knocks slightly as she walks into Lexa’s bedchambers. Lexa turns around, smiling.

“Clarke, hi.” Lexa breathes out.

“Sy Sy” Aden claps out excitedly. Aden is starting to say basic words like ‘mama’ and ‘cos.’ He doesn't call Costia his mom. 

It's like a part of him recognizes Clarke is his sire. That's why he calls Clarke ‘sy.’ Lexa thinks it's because he can't say his ‘r’s’ yet. So ‘sy’ means sire. Lexa is always telling Aden that Clarke is his sire. It only makes sense.

When Lexa first explained it to Clarke, the alpha cried and pulled their son close, peppering kisses all over his face. 

“My sweet baby boy.” Clarke smiles, reaching to take him out of Lexa's arms. Aden reaches back at Clarke with his chubby little baby hands.

“Sy!” Aden sighs out, snuggling into Clarke’s neck. It's beautiful moments like these that are tinged with such sadness. This should be their always.

“Oh you look so handsome in your little suit. Are you going to save me a dance at the ball?!” Clarke coos, dancing around the room with him. Aden laughs hysterically.

Lexa smiles wide. Clarke always makes Aden laugh harder than anyone else. They have such a strong bond. Clarke stops and looks over at Lexa with warm soft eyes.

“Your mama likes dancing too. Should we dance with your mama?” Clarke says sweetly to Aden. Aden hears the word ‘mama’ and becomes ecstatic. 

“Mama! Mama!” Aden says happily as Clarke strides towards Lexa with their baby boy in her arms.

“Hey there peanut.” Lexa says softly, pushing back Aden’s wild curls. His hair might be blonde like Clarke but his curls are all Lexa.

Clarke slips one hand on Lexa’s lower back and encourages Lexa to do the same to her. Lexa gasps slightly but does it. Their free hands wrap around Aden so that he is firmly placed between them. Aden places a chubby little hand on one cheek of each of his mommies.

“La you.” Aden shouts out happily. He means “love you.” Lexa and Clarke smile lovingly at each other and then Aden. 

“We love you too baby.” Clarke says tenderly.

“So so much.” Lexa adds sweetly. 

“Dance now?” Clarke asks and Aden just smiles. He probably doesn't understand what Clarke is saying he loves to hear her voice.

They three of them dance side to side, goofily and perfectly. Just like the family they always would be. Nothing could stop them, even though seemingly everyone has tried. Lexa and Clarke are inevitable.

///

The ball is in full swing. It's for some visiting duke. Clarke always has to throw balls for her guests. Lexa has already been to three during her visits. Clarke always gifts her with gorgeous gowns and Aden with cute little penguin suits.

Lexa is talking with one of Clarke’s royal advisor’s Marcus. Marcus is a kind man. He's smart and a good ally of Clarke’s. Clarke only says kind words of him.

“So has Clarke discussed the board’s pressure for her to mate again?” Marcus says candidly. He knows Lexa and Clarke are close but he pays no attention to rumors so he doesn't realize just how close they actually are.

Lexa's face freezes for a second. Clarke never mentioned this to her.

“Oh? Clarke hasn't mentioned that.” Lexa replies politely. Marcus nods, drinking more wine. Perhaps he has had too much wine as Marcus would never discuss politics so openly.

“Yes. The board wants heirs to secure Clarke’s land. She is the last of the Griffin line. If she were to die, the new King or Queen would not be of royal blood. The board can't allow that.” Marcus says, slurring a little.

“What does the board plan to do?” Lexa asks curiously. She knows she shouldn't ask such questions while Marcus drunk but she can't help it. She needs to know.

“They keep sending her omegas of well to do families in hopes that she likes one.” Marcus says casually. But it's not casual for Lexa. For Lexa, it's breaking her heart.

“Oh.” Lexa replies dumbly. Aden moves his hands to Lexa’s face and squeezes at her cheeks.

“Baaaaa!” Aden gurgles and giggles while playing with his mommy’s face. 

“What a cute baby your son is.” Marcus comments sincerely.

“Thank you.” Lexa says politely, continuing conversation but truly wanting to just retire for the night and dream of a world where she is the only omega in Clarke’s life.

///

Once the ball is over, Lexa hurries back to her room. She undresses Aden and hums to him as he falls asleep in the Griffin crib. Aden’s best sleeps seem to always be in this crib. It's like his tired little body knows this is where he's supposed to be.

Once Aden is asleep, Lexa sits on the edge of her bed and her eyes begin to water. She's tried her best but she doesn't think she can do this. She doesn't think she can stay away from Claske anymore. She calls in one of the royal nannies Clarke hired in case Lexa ever needs help while here. 

Lexa wipes away her tears and walks down the hall to Clarke’s bedchambers.

A soft knock on the door breaks her from her trance. She opens the door and of course it’s Clarke because who else would it be? It's always Clarke and it always will be.

“Hey are you okay? Why are you crying?” Clarke asks worriedly, cupping Lexa’s cheeks. Clarke gently takes Lexa’s wrist and pulls her deeper into her room. She shuts the door and brings Lexa into a tight hug and shuts the door .

“What's wrong?” Clarke asks softly.

“N-nothing.” Lexa sniffles out.

“Please don't lie to me.” Clarke gently growls out. 

Lexa sighs and breaks out of Clarke’s embrace. She moves to sit on the bed and Clarke follows her. Lexa sits in silence do a few minutes. Clarke doesn't push her, sitting beside her and caressing the palm of her omega’s hand.

“I have no right to be upset.” Lexa mumbles. Clarke pushes back the curls wet from Lexa’s tears away from her face. 

“Let me be the judge of that.” Clarke replies tenderly.

“Are you...do you um.. I mean have you.. Shit I don't know how to say this.” Lexa sighs out, frustrated for not knowing how to phrase what she wants to say.

“Take your time.” Clarke murmurs gently. A few minutes later, Lexa gains the courage to say what's on her mind. 

“Are you going to mate another soon?” Lexa says with a hoarse voice. Clarke's eyes grow wide. Lexa decides to push herself to finish her thought. “Don't be mad at Marcus but he was drunk tonight and he mentioned that the board has been sending omegas in hopes you would like one enough to mate her. I mean I - I know you have Niylah. And I just..I don't know. I'm just so overwhelmed with emotion. I know I have no right to care. I know it's none of my business. I just..”

“Lex..” Clarke lightly interrupts Lexa. Lexa bites her lip and looks away as she wait for Clarke to speak. 

“While it's true that the board has been sending royal omegas to the castle, I have not been with any of them nor do I have any intention to.” As soon as Clarke says that, Lexa looks up and straight into Clarke's eyes.

“I'm not sure how you found out about Niylah, but it’s far from love. I was so angry that you lied to me about Aden being my child. I was so angry when I first found out that you planned for Costia to publicly be our child's sire. I was so angry and Niylah helped me through all those ugly feelings. She's a good friend to me now, but there are no romantic feelings there. You do believe me right?” Clarke asks quietly.

“Of course I do Clarke. But you have to mate again one day. And I hope that when you finally do, it’s with someone you love. I have to accept that person can never be me.” Lexa starts crying quietly. “We are too late. _I am_ too late.” Lexa cries in her hands. 

“Please, don’t cry pretty girl.” Clarke says sadly.

Clarke can’t stand to see her omega in such distress. She pulls Lexa’s hands away from her face and pulls Lexa in by the nape of her neck. “Don’t cry.” Clarke says softly before gently pushing her lips on Lexa’s. Lexa cries into the kiss and Clarke kisses a little harder, still with the utmost love.

Clarke pulls Lexa’s body closer to her. Lexa pants heavily into the kiss, her body going crazy. This kissing starts to get heated with Lexa adding tongue. Clarke playfully nips at Lexa’s bottom lip. Clarke pushes Lexa’s body fully onto the bed, positioning herself on top of Lexa. Clarke stares down at Lexa’s swollen lips and puffy eyes. 

Lexa looks so innocent and beautiful. Her lips are parted and her chest is heaving. Clarke leans down, pressing her body into Lexa’s as she slowly kisses the omega under her. One of Lexa’s hands plays with the baby curls at the nape of Clarke’s neck. 

Lexa melts into the kiss. She can already feel her core tingling, her inner walls clenching on nothing. Clarke licks her lips before diving down and kissing Lexa languidly. Lexa wraps her legs around Clarke’s waist causing the alpha’s hips to jerk ever so slightly. Lexa bites back a moan. 

Clarke breaks their kisses and begins kissing Lexa’s jaw. The omega feels dizzy, her breathing noisy and her body practically vibrating. Clarke sucks on her neck, causing lovemarks. The alpha bites Lexa’s collarbone and Lexa lets out the softest of moans. 

“Clarke..” Lexa whimpers out. Clarke pulls down the straps of Lexa’s gown, biting and licking her way down to the omega’s breasts. Hips grinding, the two lovers bodies feel like they are acting on their own like muscle memory. Clarke unzips Lexa’s dress as she drags her teeth over Lexa’s pulse point just like in the omega’s dream from this morning. The touch is absolutely fucking electric. Lexa and Clarke have never felt anything like it.

“Clarke..” Lexa sobs out, her body shaking. Clarke presses her forehead against Lexa’s and takes a unsteady breath. When she opens her eyes again, Lexa can see Clarke’s eyes are completely black. “What is this?” Lexa rasps out, trying to catch her breath.

Clarke looks at her sadly and knowingly. “It’s I love you.” Clarke breathes out, her voice trembling with sheer emotion. Lexa gasps, tears falling rapidly down her cheeks. All she wants is their bodies to mold together once more.

“Make love to me.” Lexa softly sobs out before brushing her shaky wet lips against Clarke’s again. Their kisses and movements are soft and careful, like they’re made of glass. Clarke removes herself off Lexa, taking off her dress. Clarke takes off her own dress and resumes her positions on top of Lexa.

Lexa smiles softly, kissing Clarke soundly. Clarke rolls her hips into Lexa causing the omega to throw her head back into the pillows. The alpha grabs Lexa by the thighs and pulls her center close to her own. Lexa feels Clarke’s penis becoming erect as she is pressed right up against Lexa’s panties. 

Clarke’s lips brush up against one of Lexa’s petite little ears before she sucks on it. The alpha’s hands undo Lexa’s bra as Lexa does the same to Clarke. Both girls bare from the waist up begin a steady grind against one another. Clarke looks straight into Lexa’s eyes as she rocks their bodies together. Lexa is breathless, her head fuzzy and center burning with arousal.

“Clarke..” Lexa keens out, her legs wrapping around Clarke again. “Fuck oh..umph.” Lexa can’t control the sounds coming out of her mouth right now. Clarke’s cock is pressed up against her, the only thing stopping them from being skin to skin are their thin underwears.

“I need to be inside you.” Clarke grunts out and Lexa moans at the words.

“Please.” Lexa purrs out, her hands raking down Clarke’s muscled back. Clarke sucks and licks down Lexa’s body until she reaches her panties. The alpha exhales deeply, her head resting on Lexa’s upper thigh. Lexa warmly looks down at the alpha oh so close to where she needs her. Lexa whines loudly. She’s so turned on and it’s been so long for her. 

“Impatient.” Clarke teases and Lexa lightly whines more. Clarke kisses Lexa’s core through her panties before pulling the offending garment off tortuously slow. Clarke takes her own boxers off while she’s at it, her thick erection slapping up against her stomach.

Clarke wraps Lexa’s legs around her shoulders, diving in sucking on Lexa’s clit lightly. Lexa gasps noisily at the unexpected move. The omega pants in the pillow, trying to quiet her sobs of pleasure. Clarke grabs at the omega’s ass, encouraging Lexa’s grinding on her face as she penetrates Lexa with her tongue. Lexa’s eyes roll into the back of her head as she clutches onto the sheets. 

“Fuck..” Lexa cries out, feeling the telltale signs of her orgasm approaching. Lexa releases a strangled sob, quivering and jerking as her orgasm crashes into her. Clarke presses a soft kiss against her center before removing her mouth and crawling up Lexa’s body.

“Good?” Clarke mumbles, kissing Lexa’s bare shoulder. Lexa closes her eyes and purrs. Her whole body feels so good. She always feels good in Clarke’s arms. Clarke caresses Lexa’s naked stomach as Lexa slowly regains her senses.

“I love you.” Lexa sighs out sadly, knowing what saying those words mean.

“Lex..” Clarke warns softly. Lexa smiles sadly and rolls gently on top of Clarke. She pushes back Clarke’s blonde hair.

“I know.” Lexa’s eyes are sad. “This can't be anything more than tonight. I know that, but I’ll always love you Clarke.”

Clarke smiles sadly, pulling Lexa down for a bruising kiss. Lexa whimpers into the kiss, situating herself fully on top of her alpha. Hands roam reverently, touching and loving each other.

Lexa breaks their kisses and aligns herself so that she is ready to take in Clarke. Clarke looks up at her with such unadulterated lust in her eyes. Lexa sinks down slowly on Clarke’s dick, moaning softly. She’s wet but it’s still been quite some time since she has felt something so big, and even then she’s only felt this stretch once before with Clarke when they conceived Aden.

“Fuck Clarke..” Lexa whimpers out as she starts moving up and down Clarke’s member. She feels hot all over and is desperate to be filled. It's just like in her dream. “I feel weird.”

“Is this..Lexa, did I just trigger your heat?” Clarke pants out as Lexa starts riding Clarke faster and rougher. “Fuck just like that baby.” Clarke moans out.

“It’s due in two...w-weeks..uh ugh god!” Lexa 

Clarke groans out in pleasure. Lexa is so tight for her. Her omega’s face is contorted in such desire and pleasure that it’s driving her mad. It’s taking everything in Clarke to suppress the ferocious growl in her chest. All she wants to do is grab Lexa and rut into her. But she won’t. 

She will let Lexa take the lead this time, even though that’s not traditional in alpha and omega sex. Alphas usually dominate. But Clarke couldn’t give a damn about ‘alpha traditions.’ Lexa rides her gently, her blown green eyes never leaving Clarke’s. It’s like they are communicating deeply without saying a word. 

Both girls are keeping their eyes trained on the other. The closeness becomes too much for Lexa. She never thought she would have this with her love ever again. Clarke tightens her grip on Lexa’s rolling hips. Clarke starts to feel a her knot forming and suddenly she’s overwhelmed by the need to mate Lexa. 

But that’s impossible. Alphas literally _can’t_ form knots with anyone except their mates or soon to be mates and only while they are in ruts or their omegas are in heat. Their wolves would have to accept each other as their future mates. And even though Lexa is in heat, she is mated already so Clarke shouldn’t be forming a knot. This doesn’t make sense.

“Clarke?” Lexa moans out confused. She can feel Clarke’s knot edging at her entrance and all she wants to do is sink down on it and take all of Clarke’ seed in her womb. Her omega is taking over.

“I don’t...I don’t understand this.” Clarke grunts out, pushing her hips and slamming harder into Lexa. She can’t help it. Her alpha is howling too loud to deny. _Claim. Claim. Claim. She’s your mate! Take her! Bite her! Knot her! Mine. Mine Mine._ Clarke hears it over and over in her head. She doesn’t understand this. This didn’t happen last time they slept together. Why is her alpha reacting like this? She’s never hear of anything like this except maybe with…

No. Clarke shakes her head from the hopeful though. Could Lexa...could Lexa be her true mate? 

It would explain why her alpha never truly accepted anyone else, even Ontari for that very short period of time when the omega was her mate. Clarke’s wolf always called out for Lexa, especially during ruts. And now Lexa is in heat and her body is reacting as if she were Lexa’s mate. Perhaps their wolf know more than either of their conscious minds will allow. Maybe she should let it take over.

A loud guttural growl rips through Clarke’s throat and Lexa whimpers in pleasure at her alpha’s display of dominance. Lexa rides Clarke fiercely, sweat beading down her body. Clarke grabs on Lexa’s waist and quickly rolls them over so she’s in charge. Lexa gasps at the gesture and Clarke purrs and nuzzles into Lexa’s neck.

“My knot is forming.” Clarke growls out, warning Lexa if she hasn’t fully caught on yet. Clarke forces her rolling hips to still before she ruts in her omega. 

“I know. I - what does this mean?” Lexa pants out as Clarke starts playing a dangerous game.. nipping at Lexa’s mating bite from Costia. “Clarke..” Lexa squeaks out. “What are you doing?”

“I want to sink my knot in you and claim you.” Clarke growls out, her hands roaming all over Lexa’s body.

“B-but you can’t Clarke. I’m already - I’m already…” Lexa’s confused stutterings are cut off by a strong deep growl from her alpha still inside her. 

“You’re mine.” Clarke’s eyes are pitch black. “I wouldn’t be able to form this knot if you weren’t mine.” Clarke looks deep into Lexa’s blown pupils. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Lexa’s face scrunches up confused. It’s hard to have a conversation with the cloud of alpha pheromones fogging her brain and her heat taking over. Forming words while her alpha is still inside her is proving difficult. But then it hits Lexa. True mates. Lexa almost wants to laugh at the irony of it.

Her parents made her say Costia was her true mate, when in actuality her true mate is Clarke.They always gravitate to each other. They always find each other. Clarke impregnated Lexa when neither were in heat or rut and with no knot. And now Clarke is forming a knot for her, something not biologically possible unless it’s for your mate.

Schools don’t teach much about true mates because they are so rare. They are almost like mythical creatures. So Lexa never imagined that Clarke could actually be hers. When she was younger before her mating to Costia, she had grand dreams that Clarke was her true mate but those fantasies were tainted by the mark of a beta littering her neck.

If you’re mated and someone else tries to bite you, it doesn’t work. It seems like magic but it won’t work. If Clarke were to try and bite Lexa’s already bitten neck, both of their wolves would reject it and the mark Clarke makes would dissolve quickly. 

“You’re my true mate.” Lexa says the words shakily, like Clarke is about to slip away. This can’t be happening. She’s already accepted that she will never be Clarke’s and Clarke will never be hers. But now, their bodies and wolves are telling them otherwise. And for once, Lexa doesn’t care about politics. It’s time to put her love over duty.

Clarke pushes by Lexa’s sweaty curls away from her forehead with her palm. Lexa softly caresses her lover’s cheek. Clarke looks straight into Lexa’s soul.

“Can I try to claim you?” Clarke whispers against her lips. Lexa starts to cry hard, throwing her arms around Clarke’s neck.

“Yes. Do it.” Lexa’s voice is quiet and nervous. If this doesn’t work, it will break both of their hearts. And it will be time to truly move on. It’s a long shot but Lexa has never prayed for anything harder in her life.

Clarke starts to push her length in and out of Lexa, slowly and lovingly. The pace of her hips picks up as Clarke plays with Lexa’s nipples with her deft fingers and wet tongue. Lexa’s walls have been clenching on Clarke’s member ever since they talked about true mates. It’s like her body is trying to tell her that this is what it’s been trying to tell her for her whole life. How did she ignore the signs for so long?

Clarke’s knot is fully formed and ready to be pushed in her omega. Clarke’s grunt hard as her hips slam in Lexa. Her omega is crying out in pleasure.

“Fuck..I’m - I’m going to push in now.” Clarke moans out and Lexa nods eagerly. 

Clarke starts to push her knot in and Lexa whines out in discomfort. She’s being stretched so far and even though she’s in heat, it still hurts. Clarke kisses her collarbone and the loving gesture makes Lexa’s omega swoon. Lexa tries to move away from the pain and Clarke growls softly.

“I need you to relax baby or this won’t work.” Clarke tenderly says. Clarke knows that the first time taking a knot hurts like a bitch. She knows Lexa has never been knotted since Costia is an omega.

“Sorry..it just hurts a lot.” Lexa whines out and Clarke looks at her knowingly.

“I can stop..”

“No!” Lexa squeaks out and Clarke smiles at her omega’s eagerness. “Beja keep going please.”

Clarke nods and slowly works her hips to pop the rest of her knot in Lexa. As soon as her knot pops in, both of their orgasms crash into each other. Before Clarke can think differently, she sinks her teeth into the already bitten pulse point of her love. Lexa’s body stills, a second wave of orgasm hitting her. Her omega has never felt so good. She feels like she’s going to pass out.

 _Bite your alpha. She’s yours!_ Lexa’s omega cries out. The brunette bites down on Clarke’s unbitten neck and the alpha growls out in ecstasy. It’s unmistakable. They are true mates. There are no rejection signs. The mating is taking. 

It’s a weird sensation for Lexa. She can feel her old mating mark with Costia dissolving as Clarke’s bite claim besieges her body. The dissolving of Costia’s mark doesn’t hurt like the dissolving of Ontari’s mark on Clarke did when Ontari died. It stings a little but Lexa’s omega recognizes this as her real mate and thus there isn’t much pain.

Both girls’ fangs release their grip on the other’s neck and relax into their embrace. Neither have words for this experience. Their minds still catching up with their bodies.

“Sleep now and we can talk once my knot deflates.” Clarke mumbles tiredly before yawning. Lexa giggles at how cute her tired alpha is. _Hers_. She can actually say that and mean it now. She doesn’t know how they are going to handle all of this but she knows that as long as Clarke is with her, they will figure it out.

Clarke licks Lexa’s new mark and smiles dumbly to herself. Lexa’s heart beats faster at her alpha’s gesture. “My mate.” Clarke mumbles sweetly and Lexa swoons.

“I love you too, my alpha.” Lexa murmurs and gently presses a soft kiss to Clarke’s lips.

They fall asleep soon after that and for once, their dreams are sweet and their wolves are sated.

///

Clarke wakes up first to Aden’s wails on the other side of her door. He’s probably hungry. Clarke removes herself from Lexa’s tight embrace. Lexa is clutching onto her like a koala. Lexa groans slightly and starts to stir from her sleep as Clarke gets and goes to answer her door. She puts on her royal robe and sure enough there Aden is with one of the nannies. 

As soon as Aden sees his sire, his cries subside and he starts to whine and squirm. “Sy.” Aden pouts, her lip jutting out and tears filling his eyes. He reaches desperately for her. 

“Oh Aden.” Clarke coos. She takes him in her arms and rocks slightly. 

“I’m sorry my Queen. He’s hungry and I knew Princess Lexa was coming to see you last night. He won’t eat his food from anyone but her it seems.” The nanny apologizes while handing her the young prince’s breakfast. 

“It’s quite alright.” Clarke says softly. The nannies eyes widen and she averts her eyes quickly. Clarke turns around and follows her vision. Lexa’s bare back is exposed from the sheets of Clarke’s room. Clarke growls slightly.

“You best keep this to yourself.” Clarke firmly instructs the nanny. The nanny shakes her head vigorously and scurries off.

Clarke brings her attention back to her son in her eyes. He looks like he’s about to start crying again. He must be really hungry. Clarke decides to wake up Lexa. Clarke gently shakes Lexa. the omega groans, her lips smacking together after a cute little yawn escapes her mouth.

Lexa rolls over, the sheets thankfully covering her body. “Hi.” Lexa says smiling wide, her eyes still closed.

“Hi!” Aden’s voice rings through the room. Clarke chuckles as Lexa’s face morphs into utter confusion. 

“Aden?” Lexa’s eyes fly open.

“Mama!” Aden shouts and Lexa tries to figure out what’s going on. Last she remembers, she fell asleep still tied to Clarke. And now Clarke is dressed in her royal robe looking sexy as ever, carrying their son in her arms.

“The nanny brought him in. Our boy is hungry.” Clarke says apologetically. Aden looks at his mom, confused and curious. “You want some nomnom?” Clarke says sweetly and Aden nods happily, rubbing at his tummy. ‘Nomnom’ is how Aden says food. Lexa smiles gently at the scene unfolding, except she’s not sad at the picture. She’s not sad because now her and Clarke are mated. Now they are finally one.

“Can you cover his eyes while I put some clothes on?” Lexa says while yawning some more. Clarke chuckles.

“Lexa, he’s one years old and you used to breastfeed him.” Clarke laughs at how modest Lexa is being.

“Claaarke.” Lexa whines and the blonde laughs some more.

“Okay okay.” Clarke covers Aden’s eyes as Lexa hurries to throw on one of Clarke’s shirts and some loose boxers. Lexa sits on the bed, leaning against the headboard. 

Clarke puts Aden on the bed. Their baby boy crawls and waddles over to his mommy. Lexa opens her arms and smiles. “Nomnom!” Aden shouts impatiently. Clarke sits right next to them and hands Lexa the food the nanny gave him. Clarke wraps her arm around Lexa and her omega snuggles into her arms. Aden moves a little so that he’s in both of their laps while Lexa feeds him. It’s perfect family moment that they’ve always dreamed of.

Once Aden is finished eating, Clarke plays with Aden a bit as Lexa watches on fondly. Clarke tickles Aden and he giggles uncontrollably.

“Sy!!” Aden giggles, his whole face alight with joy. He doesn't have a care in the world. Lexa and Clarke’s wolves feel more at peace than they ever have before. They know they still have much to talk about. They don't know what any of this means for their countries or for each other.

All they know is that they love one another. They are are true mates. They are a family. And this time, duties will not take precedent over their love. This time they are mates first. And this times their love will win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to split this chapter into two so there will be one more chapter left of this fic! Yay!
> 
> I know I said there won't be that much angst left but there will be some in the next chapter. Don't worry though! All will be evolved and explained. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Life has been crazy but hopefully in a few weeks I'll be able to get on a regular writing schedule again. What fic do y'all wanna see updated next???


	5. Mates Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FINAL CHAPTER! Clarke and Lexa are together finally but will their love be too much for their kingdoms to handle?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Minor Character Injury, Violence, Some Death

“What will we do?” Lexa says quietly, cuddled up into her alpha’s side. Clarke pulls Lexa in tighter. Aden is taking a nap from their day of playing and bonding. They have so far successfully hidden from the nobles, but the second they run into them, they will smell Lexa and Clarke’s combined scent. 

“Be together.” Clarke says, her arms around Lexa, peeking a look at Aden sleeping soundly in his crib. 

“I’m serious, Clarke.” Lexa says with a small smile on her face but worried eyes. She turns to Clarke and cups her cheeks. “I cannot lose you.”

Clarke looks at her suddenly more serious. “You will never lose me.” Clarke says firmly, yet her voice soft and loving. She kisses Lexa’s lips passionately. Lexa gets invested in the kiss and move on top of her mate. Clarke greedily grabs at Lexa’s ass as her omega starts grinding on her.

“What about Aden?” Clarke mumbles against Lexa’s lips.

“He is fast asleep. He will not wake.” Lexa mutters against her lover’s tender mouth.

“Are you sure?” Clarke asks worriedly and Lexa chuckles. 

“Yes. He sleeps like a rock just as his sire.” Lexa teases and Clarke playfully growls.

“Do not.” Clarke mumbles and Lexa bites her lip.

“Do you wish to argue about this or do you wish to make love to me?” Lexa breathlessly whispers in the shell of Clarke’s ear. Clarke’s whole body shivers as a result. Clarke doesn’t answer her and starts kissing the brunette fervently. Before it could go any further though, there’s a loud knock at the door. Clarke growls out, annoyed at being interrupted when she specifically let it be known not to disturb her today unless absolutely necessary. A moment later, Aden wakes up with a gentle cry. 

Lexa rests her forehead against Clarke’s. “Don’t worry, I’ve got Aden. You get rid of whoever is at the door, my Queen.” Lexa says teasingly. Clarke growls playfully and gently grabs Lexa’s chin and kisses the omega’s lips softly before getting up and heading toward the door.

It’s her trusted advisor, Marcus. Marcus is the only one who knows of Lexa and Clarke’s mating last night. He has been going mad all day trying to figure out a solution to how this could work in favor of all in involved. 

“I’m sorry for disturbing you and Princess Woods, my grace. May I come in? I have urgent news from Trikru lands.” Marcus hurriedly says. Clarke nods and allows Marcus in.

Lexa is bouncing Aden on her lap on the royal bed, trying to quiet his cries. Marcus politely smiles at apparently his new Queen and the apparent heir to the Arkadian royal throne. Lexa smiles gently back and says a quick hello before devoting her attention back to her and Clarke’s son.

“What is so urgent?” Clarke says and Marcus gulps.

“Your grace, King Lincoln, Princess Costia, and the Queen Mother Indra are on their way to Arkadia. Apparently last night, Princess Costia felt the loss of her mating mark and immediately sent word to Arkadia that her and her brother in law, the Trikru king, are coming to our lands. They think Princess Lexa has died. That is the only reasonable explanation to the loss of her mating mark, or so they think. They believe they are coming here to collect her body.” Marcus hurriedly explains. Both Lexa and Clarke’s eyes widen. They did not even think about how the true mate bond must have affected Costia. They have very much been stuck in a love bubble all of today.

“Oh my god. My family must be out of their minds with grief.” Lexa says worriedly. “My poor mother.”

“When will they arrive, Marcus?” Clarke says stoically. There will be no hiding their true mating bond once they arrive. They need to come up with a politically approved story that won’t destroy them and the House of Griffin. Clarke could very much have a coup d'etat on her hands if they don’t deal with this carefully.

“Very soon, your grace. One hour, precisely.” Marcus says nervously, looking between Lexa and Clarke. Lexa and Clarke look at one another, exchanging worried looks. Little Aden, oblivious to the drama ensuring currently is as happy as can be, snuggled up in his mother’s safe loving embrace.

“Well, it seems we are out of time then.” Clarke says stoically.

“Clarke..” Lexa says nervously.

“It’s going to be alright, my love.” Clarke says with an unsure smile.

“Do you have a plan, my grace?” Marcus asks hopefully.

“A good queen always always has a plan..and a plan b as well.” Clarke says in her political formal voice. “Marcus, call my advising council and the board of nobles to the throne room in approximately 45 minutes. I don’t want that Diana Sydney there or any of those nosy nobles. They will twist the story and add embellishments when the story spreads like wildfire.”

“Yes, my grace.” Marcus says, nervous but putting all his faith in his Queen’s plan he has yet to hear any details about.

“That is all.” Clarke says. Marcus is a little shocked that Clarke isn’t telling him the plan but he nods and hurries out of the room. Lexa is standing there in shock as well.

“Clarke?” Lexa says confused and out of her mind with worry. Everything is spiraling out of control so fast. They were foolish to spend the day bonding and loving one another when they should have been strategizing. Royals, especially in this time, are held to a certain standard. If Clarke’s nobles revolt against her because of this, she will lose her power and the trust of her people. She would only be days away from a knife in the back or her head on the chopping block. 

“One moment, my love.” Clarke says with a small smile on her face. She hurries out of the room, only for a moment as she knows she cannot be seen by any guards or nobles as her new mate smell is quite distinct.

“Marcus.” Clarke calls for him down the hall. Marcus returns back to her with a curious, confused look on his face.

“Is there something else you need from me, my grace?” Marcus ask carefully.

“You have been a fair, trusted advisor to Arkadia since I was a baby. You were my father’s most trusted friend in these twisted dark castle walls.” Clarke says stoically, looking at the hallway window to the vast green and mountains outside the castle walls.

“It is an honor to serve the Griffins, my grace.” Marcus replies honestly, confused where this is going. It sounds much like a goodbye, which causes a knot to uncomfortably form in his stomach. He doesn’t like the sound of this at all. 

“If my people do not react as I hope to the news of me and Lexa’s mating, I need you to do something for me.” Clarke says quietly. Marcus leans in closer to hear what the Queen is saying.

“What would you like for me to do, my grace?” Marcus says in a serious, committed tone. He would do anything for Clarke. She’s the closest thing he has to a daughter. This is his family and he’d die for his family. 

“Watch out for Lexa and Aden. Take them to Luna’s safe house in Floukru lands. It is the only place that will be safe for them. I sent word to Luna long ago that they may be arriving one day. She is ready to protect them if need be. Marcus, nobody can know of this plan. You must take them yourself and guard them with your life.” Clarke says stoically.

“Of course, my grace” Marcus says after a moment of silence.

Clarke smirks slightly. “I think after all this time, you may call me Clarke..at least when we are in private.”

Marcus laughs but it is empty. He’s too worried about what is to come. “What about you?”

“I will do what I can to preserve the House of Griffin with valor and honor. But if I fall, I need to know that they will be safe.” Clarke says seriously and Marcus nods. 

“Clarke?” Lexa whisper yells from the doorway of Clarke’s bedchambers. She looks confused and a little frustrated. Clarke smiles at her and turns to Marcus.

“I’ll see you soon, old friend.” Clarke says calmly, walking towards her bedchambers. Marcus looks on for a moment. Yes, he is terrified of the storm that seems to be brewing. 

“Clarke, what is going on?” Lexa says worriedly. “You’re acting strange.”

“Lexa, I’m worried about the nobles. They may not agree with our union.” Clarke says calmly, closing the door behind them as they walk into the bedchambers,

“Well we already knew this, right?” Lexa says slowly.

“Yes, but I just...I thought we had more time to figure this out. I thought we would have a few days. I wanted to enjoy as much and as many memories as I could with you.” Clarke says truthfully. She wanted to be selfish for at least one day. She wanted one day with her true mate before they worried about the royalty and ruling. She wanted one day with just her love and her son.

“We will have many days, we will have our whole lives to create memories, my love.” Lexa says and Clarke smiles wistfully.

“Yes. You are right, we will.” Clarke says hopefully. “But Lexa, this might take some time for everyone to accept. You father is no longer someone we have to worry about but my nobles are very traditional. They wouldn't be happy with me mating a impure omega, let alone one who was mated to another. They will know we committed adultery, a sin punishable by death in all of the lands. I know it's wrong and there's certainly a double standard, but that doesn't take away from the fact that this is something my nobles might not accept.” Clarke says and Lexa frowns. 

“Clarke, many kings and queens before you have had mistresses. My father did, you know this. It wasn’t a well kept secret.” Lexa says honestly.

“Yes, but his mistresses and his children born from these affairs would never be considered an heir to the royal throne. Also, you were mated. I am Queen. My nobles will be furious that I slept with a mated princess.” Clarke says gently. Lexa bites her lip.

“Clarke, I have been trying to get you to talk about all of this the whole day.” Lexa says honestly. 

“I know and we should have but I wanted to ignore our problems for just one day. I wanted one day where we could just be in love, royal duty be damned.” Clarke says and Lexa smiles softly but her eyes nervous.

“I love you.” Lexa says honestly. “We have made quite a mess, haven’t we?” Lexa asks worriedly. “Do you...do you regret last night?” Lexa asks, her lip quivering.

Clarke growls. “Never.” Lexa nods and Clarke lifts Lexa’s chin so that they are making eye contact. “I love you with everything in me, Lexa. We will find a way to make this work. We are meant to be.”

Lexa nods and Clarke smiles and her and brings her in for a hug. Aden is still in Lexa’s arms so he giggles and snuggles in between his parents in blissful ignorance of the foreboding shadow casted upon them.

“Let’s get dressed. We are expected in the throne room soon.” Clarke says and Lexa nods.

“You still haven’t told me your plan.” Lexa says and Clarke looks at her nervously. She knows Lexa won’t like this plan.

“My plan is the truth.” Clarke says gently. “The true mates bond is rare and a very beautiful thing gifted upon a select few by the fates. I believe our people will eventually come around to it and accept you as their new Queen and Aden as the heir to the throne.”

“You think they will accept all the lying and sneaking around we have done all these years as well?” Lexa asks.

“They will not be happy, that’s for sure. But I am their Queen and I have always had their best interests at heart. I have faith in my people that they have enough faith in me.” Clarke says and the air is thick with anxious anticipation of what is to come. A storm is coming indeed. 

///

Clarke and Lexa hold hands as the grand doors to the throne room open. All the royals requested to be present are already there as are King Lincoln, Princess Costia, and the Queen Mother Indra. All heads turn to Clarke and Lexa and little Aden who Lexa is protectively holding to her chest. Everyone gasps at the first smell of their combined scents and the sight of the fresh mutual mating marks on their necks. 

“Everyone silent!” Clarke says firmly as the crowd grows louder and louder. At first sound of their Queen’s voice, everyone goes completely silent. The only sounds heard in the throne room at the babbles of little baby Aden. 

Lexa looks up at her mother and brother and Costia, all of which who have tears of happiness in their eyes. She’s alive after all and they all assumed that this was a trip where they would have to collect her body. They thought she was dead. Lexa smiles gently at them but still holds onto Clarke’s hand and walks with her through the crowd which parts like the Red Sea for them.

Clarke moves to her throne and before she sits down she gestures to Lexa to sit in the Queen’s mate’s throne. Lexa’s eyes widen. She looks back at the crowd and everyone is in different stages of emotion. Confusion. Anger. Some even seem a little happy. 

Clarke sits down first as is tradition, followed by Lexa who sits in the throne beside her. The whole room gasps out.

“You grace! What is the meaning of this?!” Titus, a member of her council speaks out of turn. Clarke looks at him with a harsh glare, barely suppressing the growl threatening to bubble up from her throat. Clarke puts up her hand and Titus immediately goes silence, bowing his head in submission. Clarke knows she has to act tough right now. Once sniff of fear or weakness, and the nobles will use that vulnerability to their advantage.

“There have been many rumours over the years about Princess Lexa and I.” Clarke says, her voice booming. Even Aden is silent now. Not a word is being said, not a breath being breathed, everyone wants to hear what the Queen has to say. Clarke turns to Lexa and smiles. She puts her hand out and Lexa takes it. “They are true.”

As soon as Clarke says this, the crowd gasps in shock. “We fell in love when we were children, back when we were to be wed and mated. Our love never deterred, even though we mated others. Azgeda, now a welcomed ally, was once a dangerous enemy. Both of us put our duties to our kingdoms above our love for one another.” Clarke says. Lexa looks at the crowd, some of their faces softening in understanding. Many still shocked that Clarke is telling them the truth like this. This is rarely how politics are run, especially in this time.

“We stayed away from one another until the pull became too strong. We spent a night together and conceived our child. A child I claim as my own, not Princess Costia’s. Aden Woods is a Griffin, he is legitimate as we are now mated and he is the heir to the Arkadian throne.” The crowd grows loud yet again. Angry pheromones circulate through the air.

“Enough! You will allow your Queen to finish before this madness ensues!” Clarke growls loud and everyone grows quiet again.

“We thought it was in the best interest of our child to hide this very fact. However...we have now learned that we are in fact, true mates. This is why our mating is possible while she was still mated to another. This is why the pull was too strong to ignore. We all know the stories of true mates. They are meant to be, chosen for one another by the Gods. No matter where they are born, they will find their way to each other. It is inevitable.”

The crowd is silent. “You may now speak.” Clarke says and the crowd erupts yet again.

“My grace, this is a sin!” 

“True mates are just fairytales!”

“That boy is a bastard. He can never be King!”

“This cannot be!”

“You have betrayed your kingdom.”

The words fly and Clarke looks over to Lexa who has wide worried eyes. 

“Enough!” King Lincoln steps in front of the angry crowd. “As King of Trikru lands, I support Queen Clarke and my sister Princess Lexa. We give her our blessing as all of you should. Your Queen has devoted her life to you. This should be something celebrated. They would have been together a long time ago if they didn’t put their duties to their people ahead of their love. This is inevitable, as the Queen said. True Mates are a rarity. They are special and together they will bring your kingdoms and all of our lands into a more peaceful future.” The king says and the crowd goes silent. Soon enough they are clapping and in cheers. 

Everyone is cheering for the new couple and it all seems okay. Clarke and Lexa smiles softly at one another. Clarke gets up from her throne and goes to shake Lincoln’s hand. One voice growls loud and the whole crowd goes quiet.

“YU GONPLEI STE UDON HAIPLANA!” _[Your fight is over, Queen.]_ One very familiar voice screams. It’s all a blur. In a swift moment, Lincoln quickly moves to cover Clarke, Lexa, and Aden. He grunts a moment later and tenses up. The crowd screams. Everything is in slow motion. 

Clarke turns Lincoln to see a knife in his shoulder. Someone threw a knife with the aim to kill Clarke..and Lexa and Aden, no doubt.

“Death to the House of Griffin!” The same voice screams. The nobles run around in chaos, trying to get out of the throne room, which doors are apparently locked.

“Lincoln!” Lexa screams, grabbing onto her brother. Her mother and Costia run up to them and grab Lincoln before he falls to the floor from his injury. 

“I’m okay. It’s just my shoulder. Get out of here.” Lincoln grits his teeth. 

Clarke growls loud. “Who dares to threaten my family? I will rip you to shreds.” Clarke takes her sword out.

“Marcus, get Lexa and Aden out of here now!” Clarke growls. Marcus nods and goes to Lexa.

“No! I am not leaving Clarke or my brother!” Lexa says firmly. Aden cries in her arms and she holds onto him protectively, shielding him with all of her body. 

Soldiers burst through the doors but they are not Trikru or Arkadian soldiers. “It’s a hired army. This is a coup.” Clarke says slowly, the tragic reality dawning on her. Someone has betrayed her. Arkadian and Trikru guards begin to battle these soldiers swarming in the throne room. The enemy men are outnumbered, that’s for sure. But Clarke knows that this is only the beginning. This is just the first message. 

One of the enemy soldiers gets too close to them so Clarke jumps in front of him and stabs him in the gut with her sword. 

“Marcus now!” Clarke growls out as she battles another man. Once she kills the next one, she runs back to Lexa and cups her cheeks.

“Lexa, you have to go.” Clarke says firmly.

“No Clarke, I am a better sword fighter than even you. I need to stay here and fight beside you.” Lexa says firmly. Clarke shakes her head.

“No Lexa, you need to stay with Aden. If anything is to happen to me, Aden needs at least one parent. You need to go for our son, my love.” Clarke says and Lexa grows teary eyed.

“Marcus will take you somewhere safe, somewhere nobody will be able to find you.” Clarke says and Lexa looks at her knowingly. 

“You knew this might happen.” Lexa says in a knowing voice like she is suddenly having a realization.

“Like I said, a Queen always has a plan and a plan b.” Clarke says sadly. “I was really hoping I wouldn’t need my plan b though.” Clarke rests her forehead on Lexa’s forehead. “I love you my sweet baby boy.” Clarke says, gently touching Aden’s rosy red cheeks from all the crying.

“Clarke, we need to go now!” Marcus says as he fights off some enemy soldiers. 

May we meet again.” Clarke says passionately and kisses Lexa once more with her all. Lexa follows Marcus out through the secret passageways behind the thrones that only a select few know about. When they are a few miles away from the castle on horseback, Lexa turns around and looks at the castle where her mate is fighting for their love and their lives right now. 

“May we meet again.” Lexa whispers to the countryside air.

///

Lexa is finished up feeding Aden when her wolf starts to cry out. She clutches at her heart, confused. What is going on? Lexa wipes the milk from Aden’s lips as her face etches in a frown and her body fills to the brim with pain.

“Marcus..” Lexa grits out, struggling to remain coherent. Something isn’t right.

“What’s wrong?” Marcus asks as she lightly jogs into the room. He can smell the spike in Lexa’s pheromones. 

“I feel light headed and um my heart - it hurts.” Lexa breathes out, trying to catch her breath. “Take Aden from my arms right now.”

Marcus’ eyes widen and he quickly goes to grab the chubby little blonde baby from Lexa’s arms. Aden pouts, his pudgy little arms trying to reach out for his mommy Lexa.

“Should I call a doctor?” Marcus asks, growing more and more concerned by the second.

“Uh no I’m oka- fuck!” Lexa interrupts her own thought, screaming out in agony. “Shit, something isn’t right.”

“That’s it, I’m calling a doctor.” Marcus says firmly, calling for the guards and doctors.

Lexa feels like her body is being torn apart, her heart specifically. Her heart feels like it’s dying.

“M-my wolf...it feel like..like it’s been ripped to shreds.” Lexa whispers breathlessly, clutching at her chest. Marcus holds Aden in his arms as Luna runs into the room.

“What’s wrong with her?” Luna asks worriedly.

“I don’t know. She is complaining of chest pains.” Marcus says nervously. Aden is crying hysterically for his mama.

“Take him out of here.” Luna says calmly, referring to Aden. Marcus nods and scurries off, trying to calm the baby.

“Lexa, just breathe. Just breathe. The doctor is on his way.” Luna says worriedly, feeling for Lexa’s temperature. She’s really hot and it worries Luna.

“I need Clarke.” Lexa whines out. “Clarke..” The omega mumbles as she closes her eyes and whines in Luna’s arms.

“Just try and relax, Lexa.” Luna whispers in Lexa’s hair, rocking her back and forth. Lexa passes out, wishing she is in Clarke’s arms and not Luna’s.

///

The doctor comes in moments later and they immediately take Lexa to rest as he checks her vitals. He says he has never seen this. It almost looks like the symptoms that would happen when a mate dies. 

Lexa wakes up coughing and thrashing. Luna wipes the cold sweat off Lexa’s forehead.

“What is happening to her?” Luna asks the doctor worriedly. “Is it some kind of poison?”

“There’s only reasonable explanation..” The doctor says sadly.

“Well what is it?” Luna snaps.

“Clarke..” Lexa whines out, crying into Luna’s shirt, drifting in and out of consciousness.

“Lexa’s symptoms are consistent with that of mate loss...but not just any mate loss. You only see this severe of a physical reactions with true mates.” The doctor responds sadly.

Lexa’s eyes widen and Luna looks at her with such sadness in her eyes. “Oh my god. Lexa..I’m so sorry.”

Sobs wrack Lexa’s body as her pheromones spike in anguish. “No! God NO!” Lexa screams out until her throat is sore. “Please..” Her pleas turn soft. Luna pulls her into a hug trying to calm her down.

It hits Lexa hard once she realizes it. Lexa cries hysterically because she only just realized her bond to her true mate and now she’s gone. Her heart will forever be empty, her eyes will forever be drained of life, her wolf will forever be broken.

Because her Clarke is dead. And now their love story is truly over.

///

News sweeps the kingdom only hours later. Queen Clarke of Arkadia has been assumed dead while leading the charge against revolts to her rule. One of her trusted soldiers, Titus, was recruited by Queen Nia before her death to infiltrate Arkadia Castle. He was the eyes and ears of Azgeda in Arkadia for years. He’s the one allowed the assassins in the castle that slaughtered Clarke’s parents. It is believed that he amassed and bought an army to go against Clarke’s reign. It was only a matter of waiting for the Queen to make a mistake, a moment where her power with the nobles was weak. Titus had been watching Clarke and Lexa for quite some time now. He knew Aden might be the Queen's son but he needed more than just his own suspicions to overthrow the Queen. That's why he paid some nannies and servants to be his eyes and ears in the castle. One of his nannies that he paid just so happened to be the nanny that saw Lexa naked in Clarke's bed this very morning. She smelt the pheromones and knew they were now mated. Titus had a plan to call Clarke out on this during the throne meeting that today and that's why he surrounded the throne room with his men. It was going to be an assassination attempt. But then Clarke's people started to cheer for her. Titus knew this was still his only chance to strike, his only chance to overthrow the House of Griffin just as Queen Nia once aspired to do.

Her body is missing, but Titus confirmed that his arrow was dipped in a deadly poison before her soldiers killed him. Even if Clarke was still alive, she would be dead before anyone could find her. Arkadia, Azgeda, Trikru soldiers are scrounging the Earth looking for her. But so far, there is no luck.

Luna finds all of this out and immediately calls Marcus in to her council room, informing him to only tell this news to Lexa if her health seems to improving. Marcus nods sadly, wiping away the single tear he allowed himself to shed. own His tear is for Clarke, Lexa, and Aden and for the family they should have been but now never will be.

Marcus tells Lexa softly and sadly a few hours later. Lexa cries for quite some time, only stopping when dehydration strikes her. Marcus forces her to drink some water. Lexa stares at the wall, her eyes empty.

“She’s gone.” Lexa whimpers out, curling in on herself.

“Lexa..”

“She deserved so much more than I gave her. All...all I ever gave her was pain.” Lexa sniffles out, rocking back and forth. Her eyes are blown and red from all the crying. Her nose is red and stuffy. Her cheeks are stained with all her tears.

“Alexandria Woods, you gave her so much happiness. You gave her love. You were the love of her life. You gave her a child. There was some pain along the way, but you were her everything. Don’t you ever forget that.” Marcus says firmly.

“I was weak, a c-coward. I n-never stood up for her, for our l-love. And now…” Lexa sniffles and stutters, struggling to get words out. “Now I never can.”

She knew how much you loved her.” Marcus says and Lexa bitterly laughs, her body still feels like it’s being ripped to shreds.

“Clarke was my true mate and now she’s gone. She’s gone.” Lexa keeps repeating the same words over and over again. Her love is gone. Her Clarke is gone. She’s in a state of shock.

“We have news on Queen Clarke!” A guard bursts through the door and Lexa immediately whips her head in his direction. She holds her breath, waiting for news on her love’s body.

“She’s still alive.” The guard says, a little out of breath from running all the way to Lexa’s bedchambers. Lexa’s heart stops. Did he just say..? Is her Clarke still alive?

///

Lexa leaves the Luna’s safehouse as soon as she receives news that Clarke was found on the outskirts of the woods, barely breathing but still alive. Luna tries to stop her but it’s no use. She makes Marcus and Luna promise to look over Aden if anything were to happen to her and Clarke. She tearfully kisses her baby boy goodbye and takes a horse to ride to see her love. Lexa rides without any breaks until she reaches Arkadia, where Clarke is being treated.

Clarke apparently was hit in the upper abdomen with the arrow and roamed the woods, bloody and under the poison's daze as she tried to travel back to Arkadia’s castle. As soon as she reached the castle she passed out from the poison. She had a seizure and collapsed from the poison. Her soldiers found her and right after that, her heart stopped. They resuscitated her and gave her the antidote for the rare poison.

Lexa got there as soon as she could and immediately demanded to see Clarke. The guards knew not to deny Lexa entrance to the Queen’s bedchambers as they were now Lexa's bedchambers as well.

Clarke is laying in her bed. The doctors say her wound did not hit any vital organs and that’s why it took so long for the poison to seep into her system. She’s very lucky that they had the even rarer antidote to the very rare poison that Titus used.

Lexa hurries to Clarke’s side, gently laying next to her alpha. The alpha who now wears her mark same as she wears hers.

“Clarke..” Lexa takes Clarke’s cold hand in her own and kisses her palm. “Clarke, my love..please I need you to fight this poison running through your veins. I need you. Aden needs you.” Lexa stays by Clarke’s bedside all night and for the next week through all the torture of watching Clarke suffer. It was come and go for some time. They even almost lost Clarke one night, but the doctors managed to bring her back again. Lexa, yet again, felt like she had died when Clarke died for those few brief moments. 

King Lincoln came to the Arkadian castle when news hit that Lexa was back in the castle walls. He stayed there for the week with his soldiers as a show of support for the House of Griffin and for his little sister. His soldier ensured the the Arkadian army had enough support in case anyone else tried to overthrow Clarke’s reign. 

Since Lexa is the Queen’s mate, she in turn is also Queen of Arkadia and thus ruled over the lands while Clarke drifted in and out of consciousness. And yet still, Lexa rarely left her lover’s side.

After a week, Clarke finally awoke. Her skin was less pale but still drenched in cold sweats. Her lips no longer of a bluish tint, instead returning to a vibrant pink.

“Lex…” Clarke says in hoarse voice one night when she awakens. Lexa is clutching onto her hand and half asleep at her bedside. Clarke smiles gently. Lexa came back. Deep down, she knew Lexa would not stay hidden for long, that’s just not who Lexa is. 

“Clarke..” Lexa says in a awe town. She sobs for a moment. “How do you feel? Do you need water? Oh my god, let me call the doctor in. Oh my god..” Lexa tries to get up to get the doctor but Clarke holds her hand tight.

“Lex..” Clarke says gently, her voice raspier than usual.

“Yeah?” Lexa says, tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about everything. I was just trying to protect you." Clarke says and Lexa looks at her fondly.

"Clarke, I don't need you to protect me. I am your partner, your equal. We work through everything together from now on? Okay?" Lexa says and Clarke nods, her face etched in pain.  
“I’m glad I didn’t die.” Clarke says lightly and Lexa laughs and cries. 

“Me too.” Lexa says, pressing a kiss to Clarke’s forehead. They sit there in a suspended silence for a moment before Lexa runs off to get the doctor. And for the first time in a week, Lexa let out a breath.

///

The next few weeks were tough for Clarke but eventually she was healed enough to go back to work in preserving her kingdom. Within two weeks after that, all of Titus’ army was wiped out and her people and nobles were back to giving their full support to Clarke. Her people grow to love the pair and eventually go down in history books as the great love of their time with story after story written about their everlasting transcendent love. 

Powerful is a very tricky, fickle thing. But with Lexa by her side, Clarke knew that whatever the tide brought, they would be able to handle it together. 

///

_5 Years Later_

“Aden, please be nice to your sister.” Clarke says gently, as she changes her and Lexa’s youngest diaper. Little Sebastian is a little under six months old. He has Lexa’s brown curls and deep green eyes. He looks like Lexa the most by far. 

“But Mommy, Catherine stole my toy truck!” Aden pouts angirly. Catherine is the little princess of the family. She’s the middle child and she’s three years old. She has Lexa’s brown hair, but it’s straight like Clarke’s. And her eyes are blue just as Clarke’s and Aden’s are. 

“Catherine, baby girl, give Aden the truck back. You have your own.” Lexa says as she comes into the bedroom, with wet hair and in casual sweats and a t shirt. She just got back from horse riding with her older sister Anya who is visiting the castle and wanted to take a quick shower before tonight’s extravagant ball.

“There you little stinkbug.” Clarke says and tickles Sebastian’s little tummy. Sebastian gurgles in response happily. Lexa looks at the two of them and smiles. She kisses Clarke’s cheek before moving to the dresser to pick out her outfit for the night.

“How formal do I have to be for this ball?” Lexa says and Clarke chuckles before peppering Sebastian’s face with kisses. 

“Babe, you’ve been going to balls since we were the ones in diapers. I think by now you must know that every ball, no matter the size, is formal.” Clarke laughs when her wife turns around with a pout.

“Ugh I wish I could just lay in my pajamas with you all night.” Lexa says and Clarke smiles. She goes over to Lexa and pecks her lips. Sebastian gurgling and babbling happily in Clarke’s arms.

“I think there’s something else we can do that won’t even require pajamas later tonight.” Clarke says in a whisper so the kids can’t hear, not that they would understand what Clarke is talking about anyways. Lexa’s eyes darken a little and Clarke kisses her once more before moving towards Sebastian’s crib.

“Ugh that makes me want to stay in bed all night even more, Clarke. You’re so not helping. Why do we have to have this silly ball anyways?” Lexa huffs and Clarke laughs again.

“The ball is in honor of your sister and newest nephew, Lex.” Clarke says with a smirk on her face knowing that Lexa is for the most part just playfully whining. Although all these royal duties can grow tiresome, both Lexa and Clarke couldn’t be happier with how their lives together.

“Whatever.” Lexa mumbles and Clarke laughs yet again at her mate.

“Stop laughing at me.” Lexa says playfully and lightly throws a sock at Clarke’s head.

All their children laugh out at the playful antics of their mommy. “Mommy threw a sock at you!” Aden says as Catherine and him hysterically laugh away.

“Oh you’re gonna get it.” Clarke says playfully. She carefully places down Sebastian in his crib. Clarke pulls Lexa on the bed. Clarke starts tickling Lexa and Lexa laughs in playful protest.

“Clarke Griffin, you stop tickling me now!” Lexa laughs and Clarke eventually stops tickling her. She moves Lexa’s messy wet curls out of her omega’s face and smiles down at her.

“How could I get so lucky?” Clarke says gently and Lexa’s eyes soften.

“I love y-” Lexa is cut of by her two oldest kids jumping on top of them.

“Mommy sandwich!” Aden declares happily. Clarke and Lexa laugh. 

"I love you too." Clarke sweetly says and seals it with a quick kiss before she starts tickling Catherine and Lexa starts tickling Aden. It’s perfect, it’s everything. They have found the balance between their duty and their love. They are finally mates first and princesses second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's a wrap on this one! Wow, it's been so long since I had a moment to sit down a write a whole chapter and for that, I'm sorry. If this seems a bit rushed, I'm sorry. I was just really excited to get this one out to y'all. I just realized that I start this fic exactly one year ago today which is a funny little coincidence. I hope you liked the ending. Let me know what y'all thought:)
> 
> ps : I know Lexa and Clarke's affair might not seem like a big deal, but this universe is sort of modeled after the olden days and its my own take on that, so in this world, being caught in an affair with a mated woman is a VERY big scandal. But as you can see, Clarke's people love her and now love Lexa. Titus just tried to use this moment of vulnerability to his advantage but he FAILED. Idk I felt the need to explain that. Anyways I hope you enjoyed this lil story!


End file.
